Absolutely no experience with women

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by snowman, Nov 14, 2010.

  1. snowman

    snowman New Member

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    Long post incoming!
    Hi all. I came to this forum because I needed an objective and neutral opinion on this one.
    I'm a 27 years old male and I have zero experience with women. And I do mean zero. I kissed a girl once a few years ago and for the rest nothing. It's not that I'm ugly or anything, it's simply because I don't really feel the need to have a woman in my life. I'm fine as a single and I'm happy like this. Perhaps that'll change one day but I don't see it happening soon. I probably just have a low sex drive too [​IMG]
    Anyways, needless to say, I have no idea how to interpret a girl's signals. I'm really blind on this.

    My kinesitherapist, named Sarah, is this really hot girl who is one year older than me. And she's kinda like me: she likes her independence and lives alone. She's the type of girl that seems not to mind to fuck whom she wants. She's not a slut mind you... but she's not the kind of person to hold herself back if she wants to fuck someone.
    She does have a boyfriend though but she doesn't see him a lot and she still wants to live alone because she doesn't feel ready to get settled with someone. She also told me her relation with him wasn't really serious and that she'll just wait to see how it evolves.
    She also went through a lesbian relationship for a year or two. She thought she was lesbian but after breaking up with her lesbian partner, she confessed to me that it was more because she wanted to experiment than anything else and that it was kinda a mistake.

    Anyways, I really go along with her well. She invited me for dinner a couple of times, we went out in town eating a couple of times and stuff like that.
    Now I don't know if she's giving me any signals and if so, what these signals mean. Just a few random examples I recall:
    She already told me everal times that she thinks I'm handsome. She also asked me to come over to her place one day to check her computer she had difficulties with. Turns out she simply wanted me to install a program... 10 minute job.
    She also invited me to her place one day before we'd go out in town eating. She had to change the bandage around her leg so she pulled off her pants right in front of me apparently not being shy to show herself in panties.
    She also invited me to come watch a movie over to her place a few months ago but we didn't do it because she caught the flu.

    Now next friday I have a day off from work and she asked if it was ok she came over to my appartment so we could eat something together and do something together that day.

    When I tell this to my friends, they seel to agree that she clearly wants to fuck me. They also said "dude you've missed several occasion where she was making advances on you". But as I said, I'm blind to these kind of signals. I don't really know what to do? I know it's hard for you to judge since you don't know me or her but purely based on what I tell you here, what would you think? What is she signaling, if she's signaling anything at all. I'm really not so sure she wants tofuck as my friends seem to be.
    I really have no idea what she wants. If she does want sex, I'd be terrified because I have no experience at all.

    I know this is silly for a 27 years old and it's hard to believe that a 27 year old who doesn't look like shit is still so inexperienced, but if you'd know the situation I lived in as a child and adolescent you might understand.

    Another thing is that I'm terribly (almost cripplingly) shy. If (note I do say "IF" because I'm really not sure that's her goal) she makes advances towards me, I have no idea how I should proceed or how I should react. I'm just so scared to get a slap in the face. Any advice on this one?

    Any help would be appreciated.
    Thank you for your time.
     
  2. Kermit

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    Man and i thought i was a late bloomer lol. No seriousiness aside i know where your'e coming from. I didn't lose my virginity til i was 27 actually so don't feel bad. (that was totally embarrassing to admit, but I wanted you to know you're not alone or a "loser" as some narrow minded people might label you) In fact, it may be a good thing cause maybe I'm totally wrong about the female brain, i wouldn't be surprised if quite a few women wouldn't mind getting their hands on a virgin. Actually inviting you to dinner is a big signal, as well as exposing her panties to you. Sounds like she was trying to invite you to make the first move.But we cannot be mind readers so my advice to you is either go slow, when the moment is right give her a small kiss see how she responds. If she kisses back she likes ya! If her hands venture onto you she really likes ya! be gradual and see the depth of her desire for you. Though if she wants to fuck you she'll probably very soon make it so known even Stevie Wonder could see it but all women are different. Just pay attention to her reactions. Another idea is to flirt with her, to see if she responds to you. But be careful, tread very lightly. On the one hand it can be a good indicator of interest (as well as suggesting your interest in her) if she playfully flirts would could make it easier lead to the aforementioned kiss (or at least give enough indicators to make it less likely you'll be slapped for trying to kiss her) but flirting can easily go bad if too crude or heavy handed (or any other myriad of advectives) and lead to the slap. But honestly, if something slight leads to the slap you fear, she's not the woman for you and not worth worrying.

    or if she knows you really well....open up and be honest about it. Keeps it simple and if she's a really good woman she'll understand or at least be sympathetic and non-judgemental and be less cryptic with you perhaps. But above all be respectful.

    But don't just listen to me of course, listen to everyone here :) i may be totally wrong lol
     
    #2 Kermit, Nov 14, 2010
    Last edited: Nov 14, 2010
  3. snowman

    snowman New Member

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    Thanks Kermit.
    Well I'm gonna be honest, up until now I didn't really mind still being a virgin, but lately it has started to bug me. You know what virgins are usually labelled as in today's society right? They're the "losers, nerds, ugly people or frutrated pathetic guys who can't get pussy" and I really feel inferior to any non-virgin (which is about 99% of the adult population around me)
    So yeah, my self-esteem crashed and I'm really ashamed to still be a virgin at 28 years of age. I know it's stupid but I can't really help it.
    And it's not that I'm ugly or anything. Nor am I a nerd. People actually say I'm good looking (even if I'm not Mister Universe) but I dunno... sex just never happened.

    Only my closest friends know about this shame. And they say it's nothing to be ashamed about but ehhh... they're not virgins so it's easy for them to say. How can they know what I feel? Some say I should simply get myself a girlfriend but seriously now: for starters, it's not like getting a girlfriend is as easy as buying an apple in the store. Most of my friends are male and the few females all have a boyfriend by now. Secondly I honestly don't think I'm looking for the whole relationship and romatic stuff. It might sound jerkish, but I think I just want the physical part or roughly said, I think I just wanna get laid.
    And I'm not gonna lie to a girl saying I want a serious relationship and shit just so I can fuck her and dump her afterwards. I'm not that kinda guy. If I fuck purely for the lust, I want to make sure we both know it's just for that.

    I even considered an escort a few times but I'm conflicted about this one. I don't think that's gonna help my self-esteem. Society says that people who fuck escorts are "losers that can't get pussy for free because they're nerds, ugly, pathetic or whatever reason" so it's not gonna change anything about the fact that I feel inferior.
    Fucking an escort might make me feel better, but it might as well make me feel worse after that and once I did it, I can't reverse it.

    I dunno. I just feel like there is something wrong with me that makes it why I'm still a virgin this day. Some days I don't care about it, some days (like now) I really feel bad and ashamed. I feel like I'm missing out so much fun and every year I get older and older I feel like I'm missing it all...
     
  4. Fliteskates

    Fliteskates Member

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    I thought when I had sex it would change things for me, etc... I would feel more confident, and everything that goes with not being a virgin anymore.

    Once I had sex it was great and all, but it didn't change who I was... I didn't become better at anything else, earn more money... etc.

    I was actually in your situation albeit a little younger, and was good looking enough to date two models in my early 20s. I was pretty ripped then as well, was a talented hockey player, had a lot of friends, etc.

    So I doubt anyone would of called me a nerd, and later found out a lot of ppl looked up to me. Only my best friend knew I was a virgin, and most of my friends thought I was getting laid a lot with the girls I was dating - but I wasn't. It was a personal choice.

    I wanted to be in love when I had sex, so I waited. Things weren't magical when I did have sex, although as I got good at it, it became something I enjoyed obviously.

    You will find out sex isn't a big deal... and it isn't some special talent that only certain ppl. can do. You just need to find someone special, then let go of your hangups.

    I was terrified when my g.f took off my pants for the first time to give me a BJ, and was worried about what she would do/say/think... I couldn't get hard and it lead to problems at first, but I overcame it.

    The first time I got hard and she rode me and was screaming like hell... my confidence grew... then I learned how to find her g-spot which no guy ever did... and she literally fell down trying to walk to the bathroom when I was done with her...

    It doesn't take long to get good if you let go of all the hangups. I got pretty daring and wild, and even had sex in a movie theater with ppl around us, and in her parents bed when they were upstairs watching tv... and on a rock outside while walking on a nature trail... and 30s after she pulled her pants up and I zipped my self up, 10 Amish ppl walked by us.. we were that close to being busted...

    This all happened in a span of less than a month after I first had sex...

    When you let go of the hangups it all comes to you... trust me.
     
    #4 Fliteskates, Nov 15, 2010
    Last edited: Nov 15, 2010
  5. Kermit

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    You're not a jerk cause you're being honest about your biological urges. There are plenty of guys in The Pursuit Of Pussy who lie to their partners and say they want a long term thing and ditch them as soon as they get what they want. When I was seventeen, I was told by a friend "you're probably gay" cause i was still celibate. I was then and still now confident in my sexuality so it didn't bother me beyond that's the mind set, that if your'e a virgin in highschool you're a "closeted faggot." And I mentioned it to a female friend years ago and they said "you should just get a girl" and I said "I just can't 'get a girl' it's not like walking into the grocery store" and she said "it can be" and i said "maybe for you." In the end I broke down in January 2009 and had sex with a FWB. Someone I had known for 8 years. Are you wanting to get laid for personal reasons or for societal reasons? But don't worry it'll happen, might take some initiative on your part, but i'tll happen. Maybe allow your friends to hook you up or something on a blind date.
     
  6. Sometimes if you can't change the way things are, you should change the way you look at them. In my experiences with women I've found that having sex to fulfill some sort of need as opposed to enjoying the experience as an opportunity to bond and explore will make you feel better on the short term but it just makes you need that satisfaction more the next time. I wouldn't advise the escort route as you have the opportunity to offer a woman a genuine experience with someone who will be both interested and intrigued in what they have to offer as opposed to a client. It sounds like your friend has obviously made some advances towards you but by not forcing things and getting your mind right you'll be setting yourself up for a much more valuable and rewarding experience as opposed to a "lets get this over with" session. Your sexuality is a gift that she wants to experience and the fact that you've never done it doesn't make you any worse or better at it. On the other hand you've never had some of the bad experiences and shallow sentiments that come with the whole spectrum of sexual partners and the two of you can explore and develop your sexuality together in a more comfortable, relaxed, and fun setting! Communicate with her how you feel and she'll be able to see how genuine you are and I look forward to reading about your mindblowing times together in future posts!

    Twitch
     
  7. snowman

    snowman New Member

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    Thanks for your replies. Makes me feel a little better.
    To be honest, what makes me the saddest, is that "virgin" is used in our society as an insult. "Ur a virgin living in ur mom's basement" is the typical one. YOu see what I mean right. Every time I see this insult, even if it's not directed towards me, it actually hurts. And it makes me feel bad.

    It's not that I'm saving up my virginity for someone special or because I'm religious (I'm not religious) I mean, honestly, if a hot babe came to me and said "I wanna fuck you", hell I'd fuck her. I don't want a real relationship but I wouldn't say no to a one-night-stand. I wouldn't lie or deceive a woman to get laid though. I respect people too much for that.
    The point is: the occasion just never presented itself. It just "never happened". Simple as that. I'm not bad looking, people even describe me as kinda cute and athletic but it simply never happened... and it's starting to seriously make me feel bad.
    It makes me feel inferior to non-virgins. It frustrates me sometimes.

    It's very hard to admit this shame to anyone. Mainly because being a virgin is seen as a sign of being pathetic, frustrated and stuff like that. Being a guy who "gets pussy" is cool and studly, being a virgin is pathetic and for losers. That's how most people think.
    A good female friend of mine told me that when you look at my physique and my usually friendly personality, nobody would ever guess that I'm still a virgin so why feeling ashamed about it? But eh, I guess it's stronger than me.
     
  8. msduncan

    msduncan Active Member

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    My guess is that you have women making passes at you all the time and you don't know it.

    Sounds like your friend is definitely making passes at you.
     
  9. kachaloo

    kachaloo New Member

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    Hi,

    She wants you thats for sure. If girl showed me her nickers I would kiss her instantaneously

    I would suggest to just go ahead even if you are shy.

    The first time I was with a lady I did not do well at all. Practice makes perfect and you will not be shy once you get on with it.

    hope it helps you out.
     
  10. JGB191

    JGB191 Member

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    Snowman, I can relate to you as well. I am 31 years, yet I am untouched sexually that is. I can't pinpoint a reason for it, but I can tell you one thing is that I never really cared about having a girlfriend. I loved female companionship and hanging out with the opposite sex, but I was never really that interested in dating as a teen or in my 20s. Probably because I wanted to be more open to many females and not just with one girl I guess.

    Another is that I never really came out of my shell until just three years ago. I wasn't ashamed or anything, but the idea of being nude around people (particularly females) never really crossed my mind until exactly three years ago when it happened (someone watched me naked in the shower) and that helped me come out of my shell and be more open with my body.
     
  11. too_thick

    too_thick Member

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    Longer you wait the bigger chance you will end up in the "Friend Zone". It seems it's heading that way for you.


    last year in aug-09 some girl asked me out but I said no .not going to post what I said but i did have a good explanation for saying no.


    I am sure I blew off any chances with her..
    she wanted to go to Burger King :lol

    I sure she meant the bar that is next door to the Burger King..
     
    #11 too_thick, Nov 24, 2010
    Last edited: Nov 24, 2010
  12. Texas_Red

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    I lost my virginity when I was 14. As it was happening I was scared and excited. As things progressed it actually became boring (long story). In the end, i do not look back on it fondly.

    Quite frankly I think it's better to remain a virgin and then have the experience be really awesome than to simply be able to say "I'm not a virgin" but have had the experience be sub-par at best.