About that new GF i mentioned...

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by ccjcool, Sep 1, 2008.

  1. ccjcool

    ccjcool New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2007
    Messages:
    406
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    California, AGAIN.
    You always hear that when you meet "the one," you'll know. Well...I'm pretty damn sure I've met her. Just, as with 90% of things in my life, theres some complications, as always. Now, of these complications, only one is a real "issue", and thats distance. We were introduced by a mutual friend over the internet almost a month ago. Shes in Texas, and I'm in California, so no, we havn't actually met face to face. But that hasn't stopped us one bit from getting to know each other and fall for each other. Hell, weve talked for 2-3 hours on the phone every night since the day we were introduced. But anyway, I digress. Needless to say, she's amazing.

    One of the other little catches to this relationship, while not a "problem" per se, is still a rather big roadblock. She's in the process of getting divorced. Her husband is refusing to sign the divorce papers even though she wants nothing to do with him anymore. I feel a little guilty about having some kind of relationship with a techincally married woman...*shrug*. Bur they are separated though: He no longer lives there with her.

    That aside, though, theres one thing that amazingly doesn't scare me in the least. She has a 2yo daughter and a 5 month old son. They're absolutely adoreable too! (she sent me pictures:)) The prospect of having a family actually is one of the nicest parts of our growing relationship.

    We both realize were moving rather quickly in our relationship (well, about as fast as one can go via an online/distance relationship), but neither of us have any problems with that. We joke that if she wasn't still married and if we lived closer to each other we'd probably have run off to vegas already (lol).

    Realistically though, its going to be at least 6 months to a year before we can truely start the "in person" dating scene. Which is good because that gives us plenty of time to continue to get to know each other and truely figure out if its meant to be. :)
     
  2. AnonymousOne

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2006
    Messages:
    5,845
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    ... Git yer ass to Texas.
     
  3. Hot Wheels

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2006
    Messages:
    3,415
    Likes Received:
    37
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Sydney,Australia
    Good to see you back after your layoff.........:D

    Thats a huge commitment dude......how old is this lady?:nerv
     
  4. ccjcool

    ccjcool New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2007
    Messages:
    406
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    California, AGAIN.
    21. She got married at 18, and the rest is history, you could say...
     
  5. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2007
    Messages:
    2,647
    Likes Received:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    I wouldn't sweat the fact that she's seperated and getting divorced...legally she's "married" but emotionally she's not. She's available. You don't have anything to feel guilty about there, IMO.

    You're young, and taking on kids is a HUGE responsibility. You guys need to talk A LOT about all the expectations, responsibilities, etc., before you end up married and discover it was a mistake. You need to be completely open, honest, and candid...NOT tell each other what you think each other want's to hear. And you need to be prepared to love those kids just like they are your very own, and give them what they'll need from you...attention, love, finances, the whole ball of was. With me on this?

    So, just proceed carefully and don't jump into anything too quickly.

    HTH!
    BD
     
  6. ccjcool

    ccjcool New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2007
    Messages:
    406
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    California, AGAIN.
    Thanks, BD! About her 2 kids, youre definitley right about the huge responsibility part. We have already talked concerning them, and I'm sure that we will continue to talk more about it in the future. I'm already aware of some of the things im getting myself into concerning them. For instance, her daughter is allergic to a myrriad of things from peanuts, to eggs, to milk, to beef...the list goes on. I've got some studying to do, thats for sure. I'm sure I'll get a bit of practice relatively soon as my sister is preggers and her baby is due in November. As for being prepared to love them as my own, I believe that I am. Not too much more that can be said to that. And as to the financial responsibility, thats part of the reason I mentioned not being able to actually go down there for 6mo to a year. I want to be able to get my ducks in a row concerning my personal finances, landing a job down there ahead of time, et. al. So yah...im definetly letting my chickens hatch before I count them ;)
     
  7. FlirtyChick

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2007
    Messages:
    4,111
    Likes Received:
    19
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Southeast US
    Voice of non-male reasoning here: Congrats, babe, you think you have found the one, and I believe that you can make good, lasting, even better relationships on the phone and electronically that you sometimes can in person. I caution you though, she is getting divorced. Do you know what is behind that? You realize that there may be scars/baggage from that. And MAKE sure you are ready for instant family. Once you meet in person and start dating it may be different that what has already gone on. be careful, and go for it. You are an awesome dude, and you deserve to be happy. Don't make me have to come kick her butt if she messes up LOL! Good for you!
     
  8. ccjcool

    ccjcool New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2007
    Messages:
    406
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    California, AGAIN.
    Thanks FC! :)

    As to that, yes she has told me the reasons behind it, and assuming that shes being honest in what she has told me (which she has given me no reason to assume otherwise), there shouldnt be too much baggage as a result. I wont go into details since these are private issues, but suffice it to say that the guy sounds like the epitome of a loser.
     
  9. FlirtyChick

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2007
    Messages:
    4,111
    Likes Received:
    19
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Southeast US
    No details necessary. I am glad you have connected. I am just motherly and caring, as someone put it to me,(sort of; you get the gist) and I don't want to see you hurt. I have been with losers, and I spent way too much time with them! :(. You are a nice, smart guy. I really want you to be happy. I like, or I dont, or I love. And I like you!!!! And come drink with me in the bar sometime. You are a fun beer buddy! ;)
     
  10. AnonymousOne

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2006
    Messages:
    5,845
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    I guess all other things aside you two both need to be very certain to discuss one thing in particular: Money and Finances. that Best Buy salary won't go as long a way with a wife and two kids and many many divorces have a great deal to do with couples fighting over money etc.

    I do wish you two the best mate and I hope things work out for the best, just throwing my .02 in.
     
  11. ccjcool

    ccjcool New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2007
    Messages:
    406
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    California, AGAIN.
    Definetly understand you there, A1. I'm still figuring out all that kind of stuff in terms of finances. I know at the very least I will need a full time job, and hopefully in a year's time, I'll have moved up to at least a supervisory position which (at least at my store) is going to be much much better pay. Granted I know pay rates out there are likely to be less than out here, but I think it would still be manageable. Rent out there where she lives is roughly 1/3-1/2 of what rent is out here in the bay area, but theres still other concerns to worry about (my 30k in student loans for example). But all of that will be discussed in due time :)
     
  12. AnonymousOne

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2006
    Messages:
    5,845
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Good man!