About losing one's virginity

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by quencho092, Aug 24, 2007.

  1. quencho092

    quencho092 New Member

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    ok. So im with the same girl. She cant get me to cum doing non penetrative methods, and i am rock solid hard and aroused.

    With everything we have done before, she has told me that if i ask her while we are doing it, she will be likely to say no. When she first touched my penis, i didnt ask her, i just guided my hand to it, and she had her way with it. When i first went down on her, i didnt ask her (well i did once, and she said no.), i just slowly made my way down and licked her clit and fingered her g spot until she soaked my face.

    She even told me that when we are doing things together, it is usually best to slowly make my way to the things we want to do. I asked her if she would let me go down on her (because she always avoided that and never let anyone do that before), and she said no once before. So obviously with sex she will say no, and has said no when i asked her if it was alright.

    She also told me that if she wanted to lose her virginity, she would rather do it with a close friend within a casual relationship with mutual understanding as to what each other wants. (which is what we have going on right now, word for word.)

    So, the next time we get intimate, should i do the usual, strip her down, arouse the crap out of her, clitoral stimulation, give her my cock in her mouth for a bit, tease, then slip on a condom and slowly make my way to that. And if she is inviting and doesn't say no, i penetrate?
     
  2. ftheunion

    ftheunion New Member

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    Skepticism would be good for a situation like this. Is this really the person or way to lose your virginity, with a mutual friend? It might cause the friendship to be more stressful afterwards.

    My ex said she was used to guys kinda slowly pushing through anyway, so thats why she would softly push me away a little when things got uncomfortable, so I didn't get near as far as you have. That relationship ended after 4 months.

    If you do go for it, you should ask her, softly spoken or wisper or what ever puppy dog style you use, but If you don't do that before penetration then it is technically rape, and just is unethical to smooth into, unless she is like in nirvana from the sensual moment. Make sure to do it slowly, like set it on her and rub slightly, so she'll know you are gonna get inside her and she'll know what is about to happen, don't just pop it in there. She'll have time to react if she doesn't want to do it. I think you could get away with a lot, but the intercourse should be something she wants or lets you do at the right time for her.


    Maybe if you just lay with her and have a conversation on the bed when both of you are naked. Something to bond other than physically. You could work on the theoretics. Build history or memories by taking her on a date or hiking in the hills. You could do the classic picnic thing. Or you could figure out why the relationship isn't more than friends.
    Its better to be best friends, but find out what her aspirations are or straight up ask her how long she wants to be your friend, or how long she wants you; find out where you stand so as to make a plan for yourself.

    Good luck.
     
    #2 ftheunion, Aug 24, 2007
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2007
  3. quencho092

    quencho092 New Member

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    I get you bro. When i first went down on her, i did some whispering, picked her up, put her on top of a picnic table (this was in a park at night, mind you, lol) climbed over her, then slowly kissed my way down to her pussy. She knew what i was going to do and she let me, and she could have very well said no and i would have stopped.

    So i should do some slight rubbing over her clitoris or something with my penis? Then she would clearly know what i am suggesting and make her decision.
     
  4. quencho092

    quencho092 New Member

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    And honestly, its really complicated. Like we both kinda avoided eachother and mutually agreed that we werent attracted to eachother romantically, eventhough we were both crazy about eachother. We became really really good friends, and a few months later i would take her out every so often. I was trying to make the point that i was interested in her and wanted to have a relationship with her, but it seemed like she had already moved on.

    And we talked about it. She said she used to really be crazy about me, but i just didnt approach her so she did her best to get the idea out of her head and forget it. At this point i would really want to have a relationship with her, but I think she has completely turned me down already. We are physically active though.
     
  5. cbrmale

    Gold Member

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    I wouldn't say no to having first-time sex with a good friend, some of my best sexual encounters were with friends where we had no intention of tying ourselves into a relationship. A relationship is a big step, and I knew and some of those girls knew that we weren't suited to each other. But good experiences and good memories nonetheless.

    In terms of sex, you should probably do what you normally do but then tell her quietly and gently what you want to do next, and let her make the final call.
     
  6. Bluesy

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    I think that's excellent advice. Sometimes women (particularly younger women) encounter a head/heart predicament when it comes to sex. (Or maybe that should be head/hormones!) The body is saying, "OMG, please fuck me NOW!", but the head is saying, "I don't know if I'm ready for this yet...maybe I should wait a little bit longer." What may be happening is that the No's are coming from her head, but her body succumbs whenever you continue beyond that point. And what can happen as a result is that she'll wind up feeling angry with herself for letting her body overrule her head, and consequently resent you for not listening to her voice of reason. It can get very complicated...and messy. So listen to the voice, ignore the body, avert messy complications.
     
  7. superfan

    superfan New Member

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    Let her make the call and see what happens because you don't want to lose the friendship
     
  8. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

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    This is one situation where miscommunication can happen that leads to emotional fallout. From your posting it sounds as though she is looking for a 'friends with benefits' relationship to loose her virginity and not wanting to loose it within a relationship. This suggests to me that she is not ready to loose it or that she may have a person in mind that is not you.

    Unless you talked about it before hand I would not try what you are considering for two reasons. One issue concerns consent, especially since she told you no in the past and if you did go a head with your plan you could, in theory face a charge of rape. Based on your posting I feel the odds are low but since she has said no in the past you never know what she might try.

    Another reason why I would advise against it is that she may feel guilt afterwards and this could potentially lead to the destruction of your relationship with her. Personally I say this is more likely the outcome of your plan due to the fact it shows a lack of respect for her and a lack of respect for her wishes. Especially when a talk of less than 5 minutes before any intimacy happened could have saved you a ton of problems.
     
  9. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    Go ahead and get Her aroused and take her.
    If she stops you then by all means stop, But dont ask beforehand.
    If She stops you and then gets someone else to take her virginity
    then tell Her Goodby[/U

    HikerCOLOR