A Strange, Confusing Night

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by CoexistInPeace, Aug 16, 2007.

  1. CoexistInPeace

    CoexistInPeace New Member

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    Hi,

    Yesterday evening my closest friend (who shall be named Sascha) invited me to a birthday party that was being held at some park. I decided to join Sascha since I knew a majority of the people attending the party. I had no intentions of drinking, so I went empty-handed, whereas Sascha brought some alcohol.

    When we arrived at the party hardly anyone was there except for some people that I knew. We eventually started to drink (me too, out of group conformity or peer pressure or whatever) but I knew when to draw the line. Before I knew it, Sascha had consumed quite a large quantity of vodka and was completely drunk. I, on the other hand, was borderline drunk; I could still think clearly but was just confused about what was happening around me.

    Now, this is where my sex life comes into the equation. A person I had never seen before (who shall be named Sam), appeared and joined our party, which had since grown in number. At this time Sascha was on the ground vomiting, and I had helped him/her to a bench to rest. I suppose Sam saw me, and saw how intoxicated I was, and decided to talk to me. Sam had asked me, "How drunk are you?" and I replied, "Just a little bit. I knew I shouldn't have drank." "Why?" Sam asked, "drink some more." I said, "No, I don't think that's wise. I need to stay sober in order to find a way to bring Sascha home." Sam continually pressured me to drink more. Eventually the conversation became more sexual, such as Sam asking me "Why don't you take off your pants?" "Everyone's getting sexed up, I would too..." (something along those lines, I can't remember that fully) and a number of other things that I can't remember.

    Eventually, Sam asked me to walk him/her to the bus-stop, but I told Sam, "I have to stay here with Sascha." "But it's [the park] dark and I don't know where the exit is." Eventually I said, "Fine, if you really need to get home safely, I guess that's all that matters." So, I found a friend to watch Sascha for me and I went with Sam deeper into the park. At this point, Sam was brushing up against me, touching me, he/she was continuing the sex talk, asking me "You do know what I want from you." Now, throughout the entire night, I knew Sam was taking advantage of my intoxicated state and I knew she wanted to have sex with me, and a part of me wanted to have sex (since I'm a virgin), but in the end, I told Sam I had to go back to Sascha after bringing Sam to the nearest bus-stop. That was the last I saw of Sam. As for Sascha, I managed to find some friends to drive us home.

    Now, I had a really strong desire to have sex with Sam, not because Sam wanted it, but I too found a liking to him/her (whether this was an authentic, sober liking I am not sure). A part of me regrets not having sex with Sam, but I figured if this is going to be my first sexual experience with a partner, it might as well be a memorable one, a loving one - not some one-night stand. But, when I think of it, does it really matter? Why can't I have sex just for the sake of having sex - just for the thrill or pleasure? Why must I always listen to my conscious if listening to it only places me in a more confused, regretful state? If I give in to my desires, will I regret my choices in the future?

    And what of Sam? Sam kept claiming that he/she was drunk, but I knew it in my mind Sam was relevantly sober. Was I just another one of Sam's 'victims'? Is it likely Sam has done this before?

    I guess the reason why I was so attracted to Sam was because Sam met my desires - to be included, to feel beyond 'special', and obviously, to have sex.

    Anyways, this is getting way too long. I would just like YOUR input on the event, your personal experiences, anything to help me and others who are have been or are in the same situation.

    Thank you.
     
  2. Joe

    Joe
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    My personal opinion is that you should be stone-cold sober the first time you decide to have sex, and that your partner should be as well. Did you even have a condom? Did Sam?

    The only advantage to alcohol with sex is that it releases some inhibitions, but some inhibitions are good, especially when you're making that decision as to whether you should or shouldn't, and whether or not you really need protection, etc. There are way too many unwanted pregnancies and STDs spread because of drunk sex. You made the right decision on waiting.

    "I figured if this is going to be my first sexual experience with a partner, it might as well be a memorable one, a loving one - not some one-night stand."

    I agree.
     
  3. Barbwire

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    I agree with Joe, every word of it.
     
  4. CoexistInPeace

    CoexistInPeace New Member

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    No, I did not have a condom with me and I don't think Sam did either. I was assuming she just wanted to perform oral sex. I guess it just comes down to the first sexual experience issue...having sex just for the pleasure, or having sex because you love your partner.

    What were some of your (to all users) first sexual experiences like? Is it something you look back on with regret now?
     
  5. Maddox

    Maddox New Member

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    IMO you and your partner should both be sober when you have sex the first time, but I dont think that you need to be in love, personally. So yeah, I think it's good you didn't have sex...


    On a side note I've never met any sober girl who went looking for a drunk guy to suck off...though I hope I do one day, haha.
     
  6. Barbwire

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    I'm sorry, I know this is a dead serious topic and all, but that shit's just plain FUNNY! :rofl
     
  7. vampire raver

    vampire raver New Member

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    I was in your boat, I think your first experience should be as you descirbed it a memorable experience that you look back on and enjoyed.

    I waited to have sex with a person I cared about and I am glad I did.

    Good luck and be safe with your choices
     
    #7 vampire raver, Aug 17, 2007
    Last edited: Aug 17, 2007
  8. Buffalo204

    Buffalo204 Member

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    Sounds like half my life, except the virgin part. Er and the not doing it part. Come to think of it only the drunk part relates!!
     
  9. jaguar

    jaguar New Member

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    Never regret that decision, call me old fashion if you will, but I think you should at least know who the person is on the inside, someone you care for, and be sober before you give it away!
    Its nice to see young people that still have moral standards! Great decision if you ask me.