A secret desire to " sleep " with someone other than your partner?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Doitagain, Jun 11, 2015.

  1. Doitagain

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2014
    Messages:
    3,994
    Likes Received:
    6,596
    This is mainly for woman but open to everyone.

    Do you have the desire to sleep with someone other than your partner and are afraid to tell them?
    What would put you at ease to tell them?
    How do you think they would react?

    Have you told your partner already and how did they react.

    This is also under the assumption you would never cheat.
     
  2. Mittimer

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7,517
    Likes Received:
    4,447
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Fl
    I have these desires. I'm in a poly marriage so telling my husband has never been an issue. It's sometimes awkward to bring up but I tend to just bring it up during our scheduled discussions of that variety.

    He reacts well. Generally asking if the other party knows I want them and reply with something along the lines of "wrap it before you tap it".
     
    Invigorated, Mr.Coffee, Nixie and 3 others like this.
  3. Dog_E_Ryder

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2014
    Messages:
    6,691
    Likes Received:
    8,121
    Gender:
    Male
    I have some desires, but they are no secret. :p ;)
     
    ply and Candela like this.
  4. HotForHoney

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2013
    Messages:
    16,945
    Likes Received:
    17,218
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    North East USA
    No husband. I might have a curiosity about someone, but I don't think I could ever act on it. Doubt I'd bring it up.
     
    Amature likes this.
  5. Doitagain

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2014
    Messages:
    3,994
    Likes Received:
    6,596
    Why is it awkward sometimes? Ever have it not go well at all?
     
  6. Sweetlysad

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2013
    Messages:
    18,364
    Likes Received:
    43,890
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    USA
    If you are never going to cheat and you are no in an open type relationship. Then what's the point of telling you partner?
    I think we all have desires. There's are differents between having them and acting on them.
    No I wouldn't tell seems pointless.
     
  7. Doitagain

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2014
    Messages:
    3,994
    Likes Received:
    6,596
    Well i think telling them could be a way to start something like an open relationship or just flat out honesty and openess between a solid couple which honesty to that level , where you could discuss such things without it being a fight or anything coming of it other than the discussion is something, I think is where more relationships should be. I know not everyone can be that open but it would be nice if everyone could.
     
    ply likes this.
  8. Mittimer

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7,517
    Likes Received:
    4,447
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Fl
    No matter how open a relationship is, sometimes it's hard to just flat out say "Hey baby, I really want to fuck so-and-so". It's always gone well, there's never been an issue.

    In my (or sometimes his) own head I sometimes worry that it'll go badly. Maybe his emotions wont be in the right state for me to bring this up. What if jealousy gets the best? There's always a chance that the conversation can go less then perfect. It's not something I've had to deal with yet though nor do I see myself having to go through it in the future. :)
     
  9. MrJones

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2015
    Messages:
    6,572
    Likes Received:
    4,475
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New Jersey
    I got this advice from a married friend a long time ago, "It doesn't matter where you get your appetite, as long as you always eat at home."

    She is divorced now so I suspect someone ate out! :)
     
  10. HotForHoney

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2013
    Messages:
    16,945
    Likes Received:
    17,218
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    North East USA
    No pun intend?
     
    niceguy350, Doitagain and MrJones like this.
  11. MrJones

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2015
    Messages:
    6,572
    Likes Received:
    4,475
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New Jersey
    Oh no, the pun was very intentional. :D
     
  12. lbushwalker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2006
    Messages:
    6,964
    Likes Received:
    5,077
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    'Stralia Mate!
    I have issues with the concept of "sleeping" with someone other than my partner.
    On the other hand the idea of having sex with another does not cause any such concern ;)
     
    HazHardHat, ply and Doitagain like this.
  13. Amature

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2011
    Messages:
    885
    Likes Received:
    861
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Rural America
    I have often wondered how certain women would respond to my touch or be in bed. My wife and I have talked about various people. But more like "if you could have anyone in this certain group of people, who would you want" type of conversation. Not "gosh, I'd love to fuck Mary" type thing. I think that would have the potential of causing trouble for us. Fortunately, there's not many of the group we talk about I would be interested in. Nor them in me!
     
  14. Doitagain

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2014
    Messages:
    3,994
    Likes Received:
    6,596
    Well played lol
     
    jt _couple2012 likes this.
  15. jt _couple2012

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2014
    Messages:
    1,612
    Likes Received:
    4,933
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    AR
    We sometimes bring a known movie star, a sports team member, a singer or an actor's name while having sex but in reality we both love each other and don't cheat. Now, we have a lot of fantasies of being with other people but we r keeping them fantasies;)
     
    Doitagain likes this.
  16. homersampson

    homersampson Member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2011
    Messages:
    37
    Likes Received:
    43
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Texas
    I enjoy the idea of being desired by another woman... now that being said. I dont think I would cheat on my wife. As someone on here once told me "I could be standing at your front door butt naked and dripping wet and I still dont think you would jump me."
    if I were to mess around I would feel extremely un easy about it and feel like I had to tell her. Even the want to would make her pissed this is why it is on the DL.
     
    Invigorated likes this.
  17. Doitagain

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2014
    Messages:
    3,994
    Likes Received:
    6,596
    Well a couple people have mentioned cheating and I am glad you don't want to but that's why I asked about telling your partner for whatever reason such as " expanding your sexual horizons " or opening your relationship ect... or just keeping it to yourself and never acting upon it.
    Fact is no matter how much you are in love " or lust" there are other attractive and or sexually stimulating people out there and it may cross your mind to whatever extent...
     
    homersampson likes this.
  18. HeartsDesire

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2015
    Messages:
    5,258
    Likes Received:
    2,742
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Merica
    Yes there are a couple of guys Id love to have sex with but they live in another country so it will never happen.
    My SO has no idea....he would hit the roof and probably kick me out of the house.
     
    ply and Candela like this.
  19. Candela

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2014
    Messages:
    4,868
    Likes Received:
    7,451
    Gender:
    Female
    What happens in Mexico stays in Mexico!!:D:D:D
     
    Nixie, billytk1977 and Doitagain like this.
  20. Ra1nb0wUnderwear

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2012
    Messages:
    486
    Likes Received:
    1,047
    Gender:
    Female
    We've never had a typical boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. We're open about our desires, and we tell each other when we act on them. There's jealousy at times, but I think jealousy is a normal human reaction. I can't really speak about this within the context of a 'normal' relationship, though.
     
    Doitagain likes this.