A question for married couples

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by backcheck64, Aug 1, 2011.

  1. backcheck64

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2010
    Messages:
    3,433
    Likes Received:
    1,040
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Missouri
    All of the sexless marriage threads got me thinking so I did a little tracking over the past couple of months. Of the married couples, or I guess long term GF/GF couples, how often do you, during the course of a day:

    A. Kiss
    B. Hug
    C. say "I love you"


    I'm not talking about days you have sex, just on an average busy day.
    Now we have far from a sexless marriage, but with schedules we only manage sex 2 to 4 times a week, most of the time 3, but on weeks like the ones coming up with the kids school starting and all that's involved and the hockey season starting, I'm figuring only twice..well see...but on average we
    A. Kiss 10 times a day
    B. Hug 8 times a day
    C. say "I love you" a dozen times a day.
     
  2. Mittimer

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7,509
    Likes Received:
    4,407
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Fl
    Kiss: 10+ times a day.
    Hug: Every time we kiss.
    Say I love you: More times then I can count. Dozens of times a day at least.

    We're an extremely verbal/physical loving couple.
     
  3. ply

    ply
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2011
    Messages:
    1,032
    Likes Received:
    430
    Location:
    Alsaks
    Kiss: avergae once a day. Several times a day when we're together
    Hug: average once a day. Several times a day when we're together

    Say I love you: At least once a day. Several times a day when we're together


    We only see each other once or twice a week. We make the most of it then
     
  4. backcheck64

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2010
    Messages:
    3,433
    Likes Received:
    1,040
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Missouri
    thats basicly our level after being together 30 yrs. I was curious what level people, especially ones in low sex marriages, were at and if the lack of contact led to sexless marriages.

    I couldn't so a once or twice a week marriage. My family is too important.
     
  5. Trond

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2009
    Messages:
    1,665
    Likes Received:
    387
    Gender:
    Male
    I'm Norwegian. We don't do such things! :lol

    But seriously, there are some cultural differences here, I don't think you have to go further than Britain to find "I love you" being used less than in America.

    A. Kiss. Some days we kiss a few times, other days not so much.
    B. Hug. We do this a lot. Particularly if you also count foot massage and stroking hair etc.
    C. Say "I love you". Not so often. Once a week? I often put it at the end of text messages to her. I sometimes say "I looove my [insert nickname here]" Neither of us comes from a culture in which we say "I love you" very often.
     
  6. backcheck64

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2010
    Messages:
    3,433
    Likes Received:
    1,040
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Missouri
    I kind of look at saying I love you as a good luck thing. People often say, after a loved one dies, is "I didn't tell them I loved them"...well if you say it everytime you part, less chance of something bad...I know superstitious....but we're a hockey family, it's in the blood. We say it when we leave for work, every time we talk in the phone, when we come home, always before bed, even if we've had a tiff. If you count all contact such as massages and pats and gropes...my number needs to go way up. We always kiss good morning, when we part in the morning, when we come home in the evening, when we go to bed, and a few other times here and there.
     
  7. hornyscot

    hornyscot New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2011
    Messages:
    102
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Glasgow
    im in a fairly new relationship, we see each other only fortnightly, but talk, txt, email, and cam every single day, i never stop saying i love you to her nor her to me, i also try to find as many loving positive adjectives to add to this, when we are together, we kiss, hug, cuddle and verbalise our love constantly, yes ok the realtionship is new, but i will never stop this.
     
  8. backcheck64

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2010
    Messages:
    3,433
    Likes Received:
    1,040
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Missouri
    I've actually gotten crap from the guys and other fathers at the hockey rink because I have my wife's picture as my screen background on my phone. I hear, "what, you don't see her enough"....well actually no. Of course one of the guys that made that crack said he's had sex twice, his son and daughter... wonder why.
     
  9. Woody81

    Woody81 Member

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2010
    Messages:
    142
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Barbie's dreamhouse
    I catch the same crap from my buddies. I tell em maybe they'd get some more often if they had their SO, instead of their favorite sports team or the biggest deer they've killed as their screen saver

    I travel everyday, so I don't get to see her during the day. Luckily I'm home every night. And we talk while I'm in between towns and I actually have cell service.

    Kiss- once in the morning and at least 5-10 times once I get home
    Hugs- 5-10 in the evening, with at least twice grabbing her ass
    Love you's- hell, I'm not real sure. Everytime we get off the phone, pass by eachother. Maybe 20-30+ times a day
     
  10. backcheck64

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2010
    Messages:
    3,433
    Likes Received:
    1,040
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Missouri
    I started with my wife on my phone, then I had a pic of my two kids in their hockey gear side by side, then switched back to my wife, my daughter was pissed. I know a guy with a dead deer on his, another with is Porsche (but if you saw his wife, he made a good choice there), a bunch with Blues, Cardinals, and Cheifs, one or two with their kids....you kind of see their priorities... no wonder there's so much divorce.
     
  11. Trond

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2009
    Messages:
    1,665
    Likes Received:
    387
    Gender:
    Male
    That's a great point actually. You never know.
     
  12. Mira

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2011
    Messages:
    109
    Likes Received:
    176
    Gender:
    Female
    Do you play ice-hockey? I play in a rec league, love it:)
     
  13. backcheck64

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2010
    Messages:
    3,433
    Likes Received:
    1,040
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Missouri
    With my kids hockey schedule, I can't commit to an actual team, but they have a drop in league I play left defense, both my kids are A level Bantam goalies. I've also played roller and coached both.
     
  14. KimRN

    KimRN New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2011
    Messages:
    28
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    USA
    We have been married for 24 years and I don't feel that we are that close anymore. One reason is because we had a son (16 yrs old) pass away from an accident on his 4-wheeler 3 years ago. The loss of a child pretty much puts you into a "I DON'T GIVE A FUCK" attitude every day. Our marriage was ok then but losing our son pretty much did it for me. We did not lean on each other after he passed, we did not do a lot of talking, or cry on each others shoulders, basically we are like two lost souls walking the earth. So...the answers to your questions are

    Kiss - once a week if that
    Hug - I cannot remember the last time we really embraced each other in a good hug
    Say I love you - oh I'd say several times a week
     
  15. igor

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2006
    Messages:
    4,110
    Likes Received:
    163
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Chicago area
    Kim - I am sorry for your loss. I can't imagine whet that is like.

    We have a chaste kiss once in the morning before I head to work.
    Hugs? I can't remember that last time. (I get more hugs from a co-worker).Say I love you? I can't remember the last time.
     
  16. backcheck64

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2010
    Messages:
    3,433
    Likes Received:
    1,040
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Missouri
    Very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine.....
    Sorry to you too dude. We try to make sure we don't fall into the pattern were we just dirft apart. Easy to do with all the stuff going on.
     
  17. foreplay

    foreplay New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2011
    Messages:
    24
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    WA
    On any given day, we kiss 4-5 pecks, say I love you 6-10 and hug maybe 2 times. Only time there is a deeper kiss than a peck is during sex (which is about every 3 months - life gets in the way).
     
  18. bigpappi

    bigpappi Member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2007
    Messages:
    256
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The PHX
    Kiss-10-15 times a day
    Hug- 7-10 times a day
    Say I love you- too many to count. After every text or phone conversation and several more times during the day especially when we wake up and before we go to sleep...
     
  19. MILF_Rider

    MILF_Rider Member

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2011
    Messages:
    396
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Michigan
    Oy! I hate to derail this thread, but I have to express something here: The openness you've had since your recently having joined here makes the above seem completely in contrast with what I would've expected.

    With all due respect to your loss, and with the disclaimer that I am only speculating on what's between the lines, it seems clear that perhaps you want closeness - and you're looking for it here when maybe it should come first from your husband. If that's true, then I don't know whether it's because you aren't looking for it from him or he isn't giving it to you - but either way, there is clearly a relationship in need of healing.

    Maybe you don't want to discuss it, but if you do I'm sure people here would be glad to offer what support they can.
     
  20. HardRocker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2006
    Messages:
    5,719
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Married 27 years
    Kiss: every time either of us leaves or comes home, wakes up or goes to bed, totals at least 4 times a day. Random kisses once or twice a day. So let's say the average is 6.
    Hug: every time we kiss. Average is again 6.
    Say I love you: Every time either of us leaves home or we part ways. Whenever either of us goes to bed, ends a phone conversation. That averages about 3 or 4.