A problem on my end

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by ie33, Jun 11, 2011.

  1. ie33

    ie33 New Member

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    Im not quite sure whats going on here, and its far too personal for me to share with anyone close to me in my life just yet. Dad and I arent exactly close.. and I have no older brother or anything. As for my friends its too complicated to get into lol. Maybe a more anonymous appeal can get me some answers >.<

    Im a male, 22, and just recently lost my virginity. I know this isnt good, as Im guessing kids these days lose it at 14 -___- But I lost it to a girl that Im crazy about, and am hoping that she is the right one. She has had sex before with two previous boy friends so I was kinda going into this blind while she was experienced. The good thing is she was okay with it, even happy about it. When we first had sex it lasted for what seemed like hours, and ended with her climaxing. I however.. couldnt.. I dont know why. I always had the idea in my mind that because im so old.. and have gone without sex this entire time that id be the guy that cums way too early.. within the first few minutes. Its not like it didnt feel good, I felt amazing. I felt like maybe I could if i kept going a lot longer tho.. but she was done. I figured it to be nerves. She wasnt too happy that she didnt make me cum and I explained to her that since it was my first time I was nervous and didnt exactly know what to expect. We ended up shrugging it off and cuddling together.
    The next time we had sex, it was sort of the same thing.. we had sex in much of the same positions, felt just as amazing as the first time and nothing. we tried again when we woke up in the middle of the night and I finally came. BUT.. the next 3 times weve had sex.. I havnt been able to cum since. She does after an hour or so but I still cant. Now its to the point where she feels terrible. She gets really quiet and turns over in bed wont really talk to me much. I try to tell her that its not her fault.. and that its my fault but she is still frustrated at her self. I thought guys had the opposite problem of cumming too early? To be honest.. I dont even care that I dont, because I just want to make her happy. But shes not happy if I dont. The one night I did, she looked so happy with her self and I havent seen that happy face after sex since. Its not a condom thing, because weve had sex without it and still didnt cum.

    whats wrong with me ): has anyone had this experience? will it pass.. or something? When I masturbate I can come quickly, but sex feels so much better which is why im confused. I find this girl incredibly attractive, sex feels amazing, and Im falling in love with her too. I feel so lost about this..
     
  2. 33stack

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    sounds a lot like stress and nerves. now it is in your head all the time and u are obsessing on it. when u woke up in the middle of the night u were relaxed and not really stressing over perfomance so cumming was easier. the more u try to cum the more trouble you will have. concentrate on the intensity of the sex. since u can orgasm when u masturbate and u came when just woke up sounds like perfomance anxiety. it will pass just be patient.
     
  3. backcheck64

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    I agree with the the stress part. Often people build up sex to be this end all be all, especially those that wait for "her or him". It's not a religious experience, it's sex, a simple human function, come on, cockroaches do it. Yes, I started MUCH earlier than you, but I took it as simply a fun activity. Never any pressure, simply enjoy it. You first put too much pressure on the experience, now she's getting fustrated and compounding the stress.
     
  4. Meee

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    Here's another vote for it probably being worry and so on. Every sexual relationship takes time to develop and adjust. If you actually like each other, you'll be willing to take that time. Here are two more thoughts:

    Sometimes if the issue of birth control is on your mind, it can affect things. What do you do for birth control?

    Add some other things besides intercourse to your sex. Handjobs, oral, masturbating with her, etc.

    Oh, and don't masturbate for an extra day or two before you have a date.
     
  5. HardRocker

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    Same answer as above. Lots of guys come here with the exact same question, or "Problem" as they call it. When it happened in the middle of the night, you were probably too relaxed and groggy to be mental.