A plea for compassion

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Barbwire, Mar 14, 2007.

  1. Barbwire

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    As I was shovelling horse poop just now my mind was working overtime on how to word this post. I don't know if I got it right, but here goes....

    I have stated before that I have come to SF to learn and to try to help my marriage. I have learned a lot coming here, and I'm trying hard to apply some of what I have learned to help my foundering marriage. The thing is, I don't know if it's too late or not, only time will tell.

    I didn't come here looking to find love, but I have found it in my new friends here. The love I talk about is not romantic love, but love of friends, and being able to share some of what I have to offer and taking in what others say to me. I really cherish all of the support and caring that has been shown to me.

    I have also found, since I've been here, someone I can share all of my secrets, fantasies and worries with, and he is very special to me, and I love him, perhaps more deeply than I should, but I can't help it. It's just how I am, when I give my heart, I give it without question, without restraint. Foolish? You bet, but that doesn't change how I feel.

    Another thing I have found here, is something that hurts me. I have seen my friends being attacked for their beliefs, for sharing what they have done sexually, and for trying to help other people. The pain I feel for them is real and profound, and I wish I knew how I could stop the slamming they take and bear the brunt of it for them, but I can't. All I can do is to beg some of you to try to be kind, to be open minded, and to try to put yourself in their shoes before you post something hurtful.

    Can't we just all try to be compassionate to one another? Can we just think good and hard what our words will do to another person before we post them? I know this is the internet and people can put on a facade and be who they want to be, real or not, but we all are human beings, we all feel, don't we?

    I do not find that I am blameless, I have faults and I know I have said things here that were not too kind, but recent events have made me stop and take a look at what I am saying, and I will try to be kinder, more compassionate, and more caring for everyone here. Please everyone, please let us just be here for one another and try not to judge. Please.
     
  2. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    Great post hun...ill certainly try to be more gentil in my approach, i dont like to hurt people or their feelings , as i hope others would be the same towards me as i am to them...like you im not blameless i have many many faults ...

    Big warm hugs...this is a most eccelent post :)
     
  3. heelfetish

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    Great post, CL. Something we should all try to be more considerate of, for certain. We're all guilty of it from time to time, we can all strive to improve.
     
  4. SexyScorp

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    Thanks CL....

    You are a good friend.....bless you

    :)
    x
     
  5. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    It's often hard for people to not be judgmental especially when confronted with something they feel strongly about. I've been guilty of it myself and I've learned in some instances it's better just to keep my mouth shut. Melicious wrote an excellent post earlier in which she called for basically the same thing, and for people to please use the phrase, "in my opinion" when consciously disagreeing with other posters. To state something bluntly without first making it clear that it's just your opinion turns it into a personal attack.

    Remember everyone, it's all about respect.
     
  6. teamster145

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    10-4 roger that

    Well said.
     
  7. AnonymousOne

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    Hmmm .... interesting.

    Let me ask something: Why shouldn't I intellectually attack someone's beliefs? In all honesty, Iron sharpens Iron when it comes to defending your beliefs. In fact the more I have to defend my views, the more I fully understand the philosophical underpinnings of it. So the more I have to defend it, the better I know it and the stronger I hold it. But if someone attacks my views and I see a hole in them, then it gives me an intellectual responsibility to analyze and rethink my thoughts.

    Keep in mind I'm not talking about just ridiculing people, I'm talking about challenging a belief system, there's a vast difference.
     
  8. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    Theres nothing wrong in standing up for what you believe, there is how ever something wrong in going in guns blasting so to speak...some of us are human and have feelings..
    Stand up for your self by all means , just dont try to crush someone in the process it only takes a few moments to reword something that you know is going to upset someone ....a softer approach so to speak
     
  9. Joe

    Joe
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    Well said, CL. There will always be immature, snotty remarks, but it's best to ignore them and hope those people will just go away. Arguing with them just gives them the attention they seek and fires them up to continue.

    Actually, I think this is a pretty friendly board with little bickering and unusual acceptance. I've seen posts that make me want to go, EEWWWWWW, but I try to contain myself. *LOL*
     
  10. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    I agree with you, CL. All the way. I've even posted something kinda similar. The difference is, now I'm a mod, and if anyone jumps on YOUR back.... I'll jump higher.
     
  11. SexyScorp

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    Wise words folks

    I think it's about "feeling" at times rather than "thinking"

    Two different things :)
     
  12. AnonymousOne

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    You misunderstood what I was saying. I can go in with all guns blazing in an intellectual way and still be very civil. And yes, I don't see anything wrong with attempting to crush what a person believes, on an intellectual level.

    I'm fully aware of how to soften a statement. :lol

    Once all you people realize that about half of what I say is said out of jest then maybe you'll understand. Plus I like playing devil's advocate, so why shouldn't I?
     
  13. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    "All you people".... just made me giggle. Somehow I doubt she was targetting you dear. We like you as the devil's right hand man.
     
  14. AnonymousOne

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    Thank you Mel, I jus hate when we have a bunch of noobies drop into the forum and next thing I know I'm getting bitched at for be so "insensative to someone's needs" *growls* It ... annoys me. And it's happened on more than one occasion.
     
  15. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    Well, you would tell ME in this case to not be so defensive and to remember if people don't love me the way I am, then fuck 'em. Right? There's your pep talk baby.

    Did you make MY new avy yet?
     
  16. smallpackage

    smallpackage New Member

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    Maybe I haven't seen the posts that made this issue come up...but most likely I have and didn't pay much attention. This is the internet, and thus, it is hard to "argue" a point via typing. You can type something meaning it one way, and someone will read it totally different. I am a admin/mod on several forums, and this forum is pretty clean and good all around...so I don't see a real big issue here.

    An example of taking something the wrong way is in this thread. Look at Melicious's post earlier "I agree with you, CL. All the way. I've even posted something kinda similar. The difference is, now I'm a mod, and if anyone jumps on YOUR back.... I'll jump higher."

    I think she is saying that if anyone does anything wildly innapropriate, she will warn or possibly ban that user. Someone COULD take that as "Man, if I say anything that offends CL, then Mel will ban me", then not ever respond to anything she has to say out of fear.

    Bottom line here is, make sure when you type something, you re-read it to yourself to make sure that it sounds like what you were really trying to say :) (I hope you are ok with me using you as an example mel)
     
  17. AnonymousOne

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    Oh was I supposed to? I haven't checked the Hide-Away yet. Just PM me an image and tell me what you want.
     
  18. jaguar

    jaguar New Member

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    Wow, great post CL! You not only write great love stories, you just have a way with words that make people stop and think. Yes we do tend to make a few friends here and seem to let our guard down sometimes letting our feeling be told. I know exactly what you are talking about when you share very emotional feelings with reply s of discontent, it does hurt at times. All you can do is try to move on and not let it get to you. You know me from our PM's and I do consider you one of my favorite SF buddies! I try not to judge anyone and do say "in my opinion". Thank you again for the great post and reminding us all, we are just human.
     
  19. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    Wow its all you you you aint it lmao....who said i was maening you....i know you have a side line as an arms dealer :p..
    but i was being genral rather that a narrow field of visoion...

    But there is something wrong with trying to crush someones opinion as they are just that an opinion. It doesnt mean yours is right and theirs is wrong or visa versa , it just means you think on the subject a different way.


    No offence intended :p

    Now when is that shipment of ak47s due ?
     
  20. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    Well, if someone takes my post wrong, then they have probably been offended by me before. I would never ban anyone just for being an ass.... or saying something I personally don't like. I back it up with rules. Ryan watches me too closely....lol.