A Plan For My first Gay Encounter!

Discussion in 'Sexual Fetishes and Fantasies' started by Exponential6, Sep 11, 2014.

  1. Exponential6

    Exponential6 New Member

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    Hello,

    I have had my fair share of sex with women. When I was below 18, I had sexual relations with many of the same age too.

    When I was in the Army, I was sore from training an a male said in front of others that he took sports therapy in college and learned message. He then offered to give me a message, and I accepted.

    When I went to his room, I stripped down to my boxers, which is common in military environments anyhow, and laid on the bed. He straddled me, began messaging me on the legs, and moved to my butt. In truth, it felt good. He then moved to my inner thighs with hi thumb "dangerously" close to my anus. I was actually wondering if he had meant to be so close. In truth, I got an erection. He then pushed his thumb slightly into my anus, I was sudden;t very confused because it really turned me on. In fact, I have an erection now as I remember this situation.

    I raised up and could feel a hardness. I crawled forward, slipped off the bed, looked at him, and covered my erection. He looked nervous, I was nervous, and I said I have to go after an uncomfortable pause of about 20 seconds. What was I thinking?

    I wanted sex! He was, in fact, a very attractive black male, I am white, and we both had fit bodies. I wnted to try homosexual sex. Still, I said I had to leave.

    He looked at my erect penis, looked into my eyes, and said: "You don't have to go!" I said I do and walked towards the door after I put on my physical fitness clothes. When I got to the door, it was locked.

    I left the room.

    Since then, I have wanted anal. I have used many phallic objects, I have made my own dildos, and I have bought a dildo. I was a "size" obsessive person and used a VERY large dildo. I created my own device[1], and I had amazing orgasms. I then wanted a real man behind me. I wanted to give a real man pleasure. I wanted to taste his pre-cum, feel him ejaculate in my mouth, swallow some, share some thru a kiss, suck him hard again, and let him put me in his favorite position or positions.

    I was married though and would not cheat on my wife. My dildo apparatus (mount)[1], was so effective and real like that I had to give it up because I wanted to have sex with one or more men to compare. I was obsessed.

    My desire for gay sex has actually increased over the years, and, although I enjoy the visual appeal of a woman's body, vagina included, over a man's body, I want to pleasure a man so badly. I can honestly say that every woman I have been with said I was great in bed, and I want to see if I can provide men with awesome pleasure too. I really want a man to ejaculate in my mouth and anus too.

    I am divorced now. I have had chances to have gay sex, but was always afraid. For the last 6 or so years, I have consistently fantasized about being a bottom every night almost. Initially, I would think about men or women at will and get turned on, but now I really get turned on by being a bottom. I fantasize about kissing a gay man in public, shacking some bystanders, hearing a bystander say something like: "Fucking gay fag!" and me saying something like: "I am going to find out!!" I want to dance with a man, I want him to finger me on the dance floor, and I want to grind on the dance floor too. I fantasize about one man coming in my mouth and another coming in my anus at or near the same time. I have even fantasized about being at a gay party as the "new guy," having about 10 gay guys line up from small penis to large penis, and then I bend over the bed and they start fucking me with the small guy first to the largest guy in the room. Of course, each man comes inside me too. I have had many other fantasies too.

    Anyhow, I still enjoy women, but I get wet thinking about men (pre-cum oozing). I mean WET! Which is great because I love the sweet taste of my pre-cum.

    I am afraid though. I am not "out" to family or friends, and I am very scared of disease. I don't want to give a man oral with a condom. I would hate such oral, and believe it defeats the purpose because I AM suppose to be his sperm receptacle! So, I will begrudgingly use a condom for anal, but not for oral. Meanwhile, I can get all the same diseases via oral as well. :(

    Recently,yesterday, I posted pictures on well known dating sites, and said I am "gay." I have been contacted by three men and all cute. One in my home town!! Yay!! Still, I awoke this morning anxious because of the possibility for disease.

    So, I have a plan. I plan to communicate at the dating website, e-mail names, do a background check, Skype, meet in public at a coffee-shop where people know we are together and force my self NOT to bend over so easily and take between all cheeks, Skype again if we liked the public meeting, and then I will give an offer during the Skype meeting. Let us both go to the health center and get STD testing. If it takes two days to get results, we go on Wednesday and pick them up late Friday. If they are negative, I know mine will be, then we can immediately go back to my place or a hotel and have as much condom free sex that we can have. If he wants to stay with me all weekend, he can fuck me without a condom. This way, I have an experience of bare-backing and ejaculation into my anus! Also, I will enjoy him ejaculating in my mouth, I will taste and swish it like a fine wine, swallow half, and then offer to share the other half via kissing if he wants!

    If we have fun, I would be completely satisfied if he 'used' me over time if I was not afraid of disease. For instance, I fantasize about him coming over, knocking on my door, coming in, kissing me, and pushing me head to his penis because he had a "bad day." I then suck and swallow. With that said, I would hope that he wants to fuck me more often than not as well. I also fantasize about him (other men too in these situations to be honest), coming over, taking me to my bed, and fucking me so well. I often cum when inserting anal and it is intense![1]

    What do you think? Am I gay now? Is my plan feasible?

    References:

    [1] In Response to: RoyaleWithCheese92. (2011, June 08). Methods for anal masturbating with a dildo. Retrieved (2014, Sep. 09). sexualforumns.com[online]. Available from: http://www.sexualforums.com/threads...rbating-with-a-dildo.32155/page-2#post-484983

    [2] Sandfort, Theo G.M; Dodge, Brian. "...And Then There was the Down Low": Introduction to Black and Latino Male Bisexualities. Arch Sex Behav[online].2008.vol.37(5), pp.675-682. Available from: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2597583/?tool=pmcentrez

    [3] Stanford. Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy. Homosexuality. Stanford[online].2006. Available from: http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/homosexuality/

    [4] Mills, Thomas C., MD, MPH; Stall, Ron, PhD, MPH; Pollack, Lance, PhD; Paul, Jay P., PhD; Binson, Diane, PhD; Canchola, Jesse, MS; Catania, Joeseph A. Health-Related Charateristics of Men Who Have Sex With Men: A Comparison Of Those Livng in "Gay Ghettos" With Those Living Elsewhere. Am J Public Health. 2001. Vol. 91, pp. 980-983. Available from: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1446479/pdf/11392945.pdf
     
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  2. Doitagain

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    Wow....lol that was a lot to swallow (no pun intended).
    All I can say is to each their own and if you enjoy it and it doesn't hurt anyone else go for it. That includes cheating. I would say you are bi-sexual Un less you quit woman all together. Or tri - sexual ( you will try anything once ) lol. And maybe your plan will work. You never know.
     
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  3. HotForHoney

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    I think you need to stop putting labels on sex - gay sex.

    To me, being gay is in a physical/emotional relationship/desire for relationship.

    It seems like you just want to try sex with a man.

    Be honest with the guys about what you want. Be safe. Be happy.
     
  4. HotForHoney

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    .... And I've never seen a thread with references. This isn't a college thesis.
     
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  5. Doitagain

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    Ah I kinda want to disagree with you. The way he puts it , the fine details , it seems he is more about it than getting his rocks off. Also , in my experience , someone (woman) that I was just having a one night fling with or a quick wham bam , where did that come from, sexcapde there was no mouth kissing. So just my opinion based on the in depth explanation I think he may be finding he likes men the same as woman. Again just my opinion and Nothing wrong with any of it. And as far as the labels thing , we'll it's a fact of life. I mean I am a baseball fan but not all baseball I am a white sox fan. Get what I am saying. ?
     
  6. HotForHoney

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    Not really.... Why would you root for the white sox? Frank Thomas hasn't played in years!


    Sorry, off topic.
     
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  7. Doitagain

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    Cuz....Chicagoin , loyal , Konerko . Okay sorry for the off top hijacking of your thread.
     
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  8. AGFUNK

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    Just enjoy yourself. Also knowthat some stds do not show up on a test until months after exposure. Like HIV. Just saying not to burst your bubble or anything. Use lots of lube and have fun.
     
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  9. Exponential6

    Exponential6 New Member

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    Hello,

    Yeah, I have read a textbook on sexuality, and the authors said "gay" is really a lifestyle and not just sex.

    Although I love women, I am a major bubble butt man, and I appreciate the curves of a woman's body more than a man, I don't get an erection thinking about sex with women like I do when thinking about sex with men. Also, I get so wet with pre-cum when I think about men. In the past I had a girlfriend with my dream body, amazing ass, and she could literally make me cum by just putting my hand on her ass during intercourse! I am NOT exaggerating---I get very hyper-sexual. I had multiple orgasms, three I think, in a few minutes. Because I was so turned on, I could get an immediate erection again, but I would cum right after she would put my hand on her damn ass. I was so embarrassed because I had practiced methods to stay hard and not cum that had worked up to that time--I would think about my biology and chemistry study material as an example. When I apologized, she giggled, said it was fine, and said she was quite flattered.

    Now, I am the same with ANY man that seems to find me attractive. Today, I woke up, and as usual, I immediately wanted to see if any of my internet contacts had contacted me, and they had. Yes, I want sexual attention and I admit it! I immediately thought that "I do not want disease" (a needed reality check), but I hope he has a nice dick and tastes good!!! I then started thinking about swallowing, how he will likely make me moan (I get a bit vocal even with a dildo that I ride) , etc., and I was rock hard instantly and very wet (underwear) in 10 minutes time. I have an erection now. I just don't get the same when thinking about women any longer.

    As a side note, I do need to research about the possibility of false negative disease testing as well. Thanks for bringing that up:

    As for "pleasure," I have ALWAYS been the type of person that can almost come by just giving pleasure to another, which was women in the past. I would give her a message, explore, kiss, and gently bite her body, pay attention to her body language, verbal language, and moans, and knew that some areas, inner thighs for example, usually wanted slightly rougher play, and I was happy to give a lot of oral because I LOVE the taste of the vagina too. In fact, I think there is a similarity between vagina excretions and pre-cum. I would read to increase my knowledge, and still do[1-4]. I also read forums and have discovered that there are many like me. People who really get off by causing pleasure. Don't get me wrong, I was pleasured by intercourse, blow jobs, etc. as well, but I really like women that swallowed so that I could just explode and concentrate on the pleasure without having to tell her I was going to cum "all" the time.

    Now, I want to "pleasure" a male partner. As mentioned, I also want to kiss a man in public more than once. Basically, I do want the gay lifestyle. If I was not afraid of retribution and disowning from my family, I would live the gay life style, which would include living with a man for as long as it lasted.

    As a consultant, I rented a room from a gay man who was very active in his community. He was the director of a popular non-profit. He often threw gay parties and invited me. After a few drinks, literally a few because I don't drink much, I was very open with any man that flirted with me--I admitted I was curious and had inserted a dildo MANY times. Some would rub my inner thighs, some would rub my butt, and one invited me to watch movies with him at his home, which was quite nice and many naked Greek statues!--He had a party at his house and had invited me. My contract ended, but I think I would have finally had sex if I would have stayed, and probably with the man and the movies, who was a bit older. During those parties, I found that gay men are very open sexually. At a birthday party for one very tall man (large penis? I really wanted to know by the way and he had flirted with me), he passed around a card he received, all the men smiled and commented that it was nice, and then I was handed the card. A man with a very long penis. The birthday man then said he just had sex with a man of similar size and he really new how to use it.

    Yep, I am always in EXTREME HEAT in such environments. Actually, I am now always in heat that often becomes extreme. Since I am such a sexual creature, I really like the fact that gay men that I have met are so open about sex! It is so easy to talk about with most, and that really turns me on.

    A good example of my somewhat confusing psychology is the following: If I see a man and a woman sitting next to each other, I can immediately think the woman is "very attractive" and I am drawn to her beauty. I might think the man is handsome, but still prefer to look at the woman. If, on the other hand, I know the man has flirted with me, I now think he is gorgeous if I found him handsome and I am only interested in him! As an example, there is a trainer at my gym. He is black, and I have a strong desire for a black man because I want to lick white semen from his dark dick, I want to see a black man getting pleasure on my white body, and I just want to take many for all the horrible racism in the world to be honest! Still, I honestly was not sexually attracted to him even though he was handsome and VERY fit and muscular--I never fantasized about him in a years time. One day, we were talking and I found that he often does "good deeds," which is a major turn on, and I smiled. The next day, while I was running on the treadmill, he came up behind me and gently rubbed my lower back just above my anal crack, smiled, and said it was nice to see me--I smiled back and said thanks! Well, being the hyper-sexual man that I am, I immediately thought he was gorgeous, I immediately wanted to suck, swallow, and be fucked by him in his office, I got an erection on the treadmill, and I have fantasized about him regularly! I want him pretty badly. I have always like contrasting colors like black and white, but now I am obsessed with wanting to have sex with a black man---the darker the skin the better!

    References:

    [1] Rettner, Rachael. Penis Size Study Shows Women Want One Thing For Flings, Another For Long Relationships, June 09, 2014. huffingtonpost.com[online]. 2014. Available from: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/06/09/penis-size-one-night-stands_n_5470814.html

    [2] Vagianos, Alanna. 20 Sex Myths, Debunked, July 14, 2014. huffingtonpost.com[online]. 2014. Available from: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/07/14/20-sex-myths-mental-floss_n_5584744.html

    [3] Alford, Justine. Does Size Really Matter? July 21, 2014. iflscience.com[online]. 2014. Available from: http://www.iflscience.com/plants-and-animals/does-size-really-matter

    [3] Clark-Flory, Tracy. The truth about female desire: It's base, animalistic and ravenous. A new book on women's sexuality turns everything we think we know on its head, June 1, 2013. salon.com[online]. 2013. Available from: http://www.salon.com/2013/06/02/the_truth_about_female_desire_its_base_animalistic_and_ravenous/
    -photoplethysmograph; plethysmorgraph; Woman Sexuality; wet vagina

    [4] Wallen, Kim, PhD; lloyd, Elisabeth A. Female Sexual Arousal: Genital Anatomy and Orgasm in Intercourse, Dec. 30, 2010. Horm Behav.[online]. 2010. vol. 59(5), pp. 780-792. Available from: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3894744/ doi: 10.1016/j.yhbeh.2010.12.004
     
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  10. HotForHoney

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    First - guess I was wrong
    Second - goody - more footnotes :)
     
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  11. TonyD

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    Go hotforhoney go
     
  12. 10_3XL

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    I'm going to be honest - I scrolled (a lot), saw footnotes/citations, and instantly decided not to read all of this. Not that I'm not interested, but good lord no need to be so clinical! You silly academic/military/whatever-else-you-may-be, you. ;)
    (Yep, totally labelled you :eek:)

    All I can say is: Be safe. Be selective. Get out of your own head. Go for it! :)
     
  13. Exponential6

    Exponential6 New Member

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    Thanks!

    I am who I am, and that includes references at times too! :) Some will find them useful, some will not, but freedom of information is golden!

    As for getting out of my own head, that is exactly what I needed to do. I have made that step with my Match.com and OKCupid accounts.

    Tonight, I had my first Skype sex chat, and I loved it! Although he could have recorded me, I really don't care. I prefer not, but will happily embrace it if I seee it, for example, at Porn Hub.

    When I was a consultant and renting from a gay man that invited me to gay parties, the men at the parties were so honest and open. They would talk about giving head, liking big dicks, and then move right into engineering, medicine, law, teahing, philosophy, sports, etc. The key was the open sex talk. I felt VERY comfortable even though I was "straight." I felt more comfortable there than any place I have ever been in my last 22 years. I want more conversation like that!
     
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  14. 12barblues

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    Well, my ADD wouldn't let me get thru all that, but I think I read enough to say .... Be true to yourself. Be who you are.
    Honestly I've always been envious of gay/ bi males... The sex seems to be so very available.. Craig'slist is filled with men looking for men.. Easily a hundred to one compared to women looking for men... Anyway, as many hav already said, go for it, have fun, be safe...
     
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  15. TonyD

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    Sounds like a good idea. I like it, let us know how it goes......................You are getting me thinking....lol
     
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  16. Exponential6

    Exponential6 New Member

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    Thanks for the support everyone!

    Yeah, I will tell of my experience, but never name a name. :)
     
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