I was thinking about a few common themes with regards to seemingly common problems couples have and thought I'd share what I've learned over time. Maybe it will help someone, who knows. When your wife/GF/whatever asks for something more, or something different don't be intimidated, don't feel insecure. I've been there/done that personally and seen many posts alluding to this problem with a lot of men. Rather take the time to listen to her instead of being defensive. Get over the "I'm not good enough for you" pity party. If you aren't pleasing her, well you aren't. But with just a little effort and an open mind soon enough it's likely you will be. Don't be jealous of toys, don't be afraid of trying something new. Learn how to use the toys learn how to do something new. Don't get frustrated, try again, and soon enough new things will become more spontaneous as you gain confidence with doing them. And listen to her. No one knows what feels good to her better than her. If she is one that harbors fantasies, don't be afraid of those either. There's a true level of intimacy and trust shared when these are shared out loud. Don't judge, don't snicker, don't brush them off. And keep in mind just because she might fantasize about doing dirty deeds doesn't mean you have to live them out. Find ones or portions of them that can be lived out suitable to both of you though. Trust. You want your girl to truly open up to you? To share fantasies, to do those dirty things you've always wanted? Well, she's going to need to be able to trust you. That you aren't going to run around like a school child bragging about your exploits, that you aren't going to view her in a bad light, that you will be there for her. That she can be the dirtiest slut she wants to be with you and you are going to still treat her like a queen. Get to know your partner intimately, on a truly personal level, the deeper into her mind and heart you go, the better person, the better friend you are to her the more she will likely give and share with you. Learn how she wants to be treated and when she wants to be treated as such. Have respect for her and her desires, even if those desires are for you to treat her like a filthy whore. Understand these things about her and love her for them. Don't forget that even if you've been with her for years there's still that woman you met before kids and a mortgage inside there somewhere. Find what makes her tick, find what makes her wet, find what makes her cum. And then do it over and again.