a little advice?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Luckyman, Feb 22, 2008.

  1. Luckyman

    Luckyman New Member

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    Hi all - I found this site while searching the web for info on threesomes. My wife and I have been married for over 18 years. I'm in my forties and she's in her fifties. We are in the process of falling in love with another woman and have invited her into our bed. She has been a dear friend for many years, but we never thought of her that way until just recently. I'm a bit concerned about all of it. My wife has never had bi-sexual feelings until now and it's only with her, not that it bothers me, I want her to explore anything that feels right - and this does, for us both. I guess I'm looking for a little guidance in the psychology of three. Can you point me to the proper fourm?
    Thanks
     
  2. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    Welcome! My wife and I fantasize about involving other folks, but we haven't actually lived out any of those fantasies. I'd immediately point you to the recent thread by MrExpresso about he and his wife having an MFM threesome...I think MsExpresso is planning a FMF threesome for him at some point as well. Check the Fantasies and Fetishes forum for those, as well as a few others.

    I'd expect you'll get quite a few answers here too (and I'd say this is the right spot for it, given that your concerns are around the relationship elements of it).

    BD
     
  3. Logger

    Gold Member

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    You can search swinger's forums. Most of the swingers involve a third woman. The Swingers forums and websites are first based upon your having a strong relationship with your wife.

    You may want to set up codes for clear communication when either of you are getting uncomforatable, at any point in the playing around, with the agreement that you will back off from the activity, if you or your wife starts feeling uncomfortable about something.

    My realtionship with my wife is more about arguing and pushing each other's buttons, rather than tbeing sensitive to each other. Some types of marriage relationships don't led themselves well to a third party.


    ..
     
  4. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    I am a former swinger, So I may say that the
    swinger's forums and clubs do have plenty of women that
    are their for 3somes
    We did mostly open parties and have hosted a few also
    It was always wise to invite 1 or 2 extra women
    just so 3somes can take place. But be warned that the single
    women that cum to the parties are interested only in the other women
    but will engage in a 3some just to make love to another woman.
    I have done a few 3somes and wasn't to crazy about them
    as I like to concentrate on one pussy only.
    Don't worry about the safe word, That only applies to bondage
    Swingers have very strict boundaries. One of them being
    No Means No.

    Hiker
     
  5. cbrmale

    Gold Member

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    I've done a few female threesomes, but with friends rather than partners. There is no doubt that women can more easily get attracted to women than men get attracted to men, and there are sociological theories behind why this is so. Threesomes are no place for jealousy, fortunately I don't have a jealous bone in my body. So seeing my fuck-buddy (who I liked a lot) being aroused by another woman didn't bother me at all. Indeed, it was fun to watch.

    A couple of things stick in my mind as regards the threesomes I've experienced. One is that it is very easy and natural. Maybe this is just me, but sex with two others was just as easy and normal as sex with one other. The other thing that sticks is the voyeurism, being close and intimate with two people having sex / making love. Being very close and intimate to two people... And in turn when I was having sex with my partner, being aware that someone else was very close to us (watching, hearing, maybe even participating).

    Can you deal with this when your turn comes? Can you deal with having sex knowing there is someone else on the bed: watching, hearing, smelling, touching (or more)? And can you deal with the intimacy of your wife being aroused by someone else: watching it, hearing it, smelling it? At least you can think about these things and how it may affect (or arouse) you.
     
  6. Luckyman

    Luckyman New Member

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    Update from Luckyman

    Well I thought I would give you an update. My wife, our third and I have been wanting to take things slowly - not move too fast so as to not blow the friendship. We decided to just have a movie night. All of us in the same bed watching DVDs and touching, just to get comfortable with one another's bodies. About a third into the first movie I start moving my touch from our friend's leg to more private areas, only to find my wife's hand already there. They had been way ahead of me for about 15 minutes and I didn't know it. The two hours that followed were something that, not only will I never forget, but something that is going to happen again many times. We have loved this woman for a long time and she has loved us. Nothing has ever felt so right...so comfortable.

    Thanks to all who gave their advice - I'm glad we were doing the research, but in the end we just had to trust in our love, respect and instincts.
     
  7. cook74

    Gold Member

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    Personally, my threesomes have only occurred in a pay by the hour kind of situation but I believe you hit the nail on the head by mentioning love and respect. I think that you might truly be one lucky man ;)

    Hope all goes to plan for you and your wife :tup
     
  8. bsxy420

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    a lady i work with was in the same situtation luckyman. they were all best friends for many years. then it moved into something more. they all live together now and have been that way for atleast 6 years that i know of. they are happy.
     
  9. Luckyman

    Luckyman New Member

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    We all just made love again...it was just as good as the first time.

    O.k. - maybe I'm just bragging now. I am a lucky man.

    I love my girls....
     
  10. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    I am both envious and happy for you! Like anything good in life, make the most of it!

    BD
     
    #10 BassDude, Mar 3, 2008
    Last edited: Mar 3, 2008