A few questions.

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Fanta, Jul 2, 2007.

  1. Fanta

    Fanta New Member

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    Well, I was a virgin up until April 20th.
    My partner was also a virgin. I lost my virginity on a beach.
    Anyways, I have a few questions about things my boyfriend does..

    When he fingers me, he never gets the right spot, no matter how hard I try to move his hand to help him. When he eats me out, he never really gets the right spot.
    When we have intercourse, it's really good, because I start to feel an orgasm coming on, but then he stops, and starts jacking himself off.
    So I give him head, and then I jack him off until he cums..
    but I never get my orgasm.

    We've done it four times now, and I've never gotten one.
    I'm kinda scared to tell him he's never made me orgasm before, because he's really proud of himself after we have sex.

    I love having sex with him, but what are some ways I can let him know I want an orgasm?

    I've never really touched myself before, so I don't really know what an orgasm feels like, and I'd like him to give me my first one.

    Also, are there anyways to make him want to keep having intercourse without stopping to jack off? Because I don't see why he has to jack off.. because I do that before we have intercourse, and I give him head afterwards..

    Sorry if these questions seem stupid.
     
  2. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    These are not stupid questions. You concern is valid.

    You need to feel comfortable enough to talk to him, during your sexual activity, letting him know what you need. You're both new to this, and learning as you go.

    That said, since you have never masturbated, you probably are guessing about what you need, because you don't know your body's pleasure spots. Most women are more easily brought to orgasm through clitoral stimulation. Are the two of you aware of where your clit is? If not, Google it (make sure the "Safe Mode" is turned off - you'll get more graphic information).

    Since he thinks you are being satisfied, are you 'faking' an orgasm? Many women do this as well. He doesn't want to cum inside you, for pregnancy issues, so he pulls out before HE gets off.

    I suppose what I'm saying is:
    1. You need to communicate openly with him. There's no way to 'dance around' the issue. If he is truly interested in your pleasure, he will thank you - and then together, you can work on that Big "O".
    2. You may want to re-think your aversion to masturbate for your first orgasm. I understand your wanting him to be the first one to bring you this pleasure, but seriously, if you don't know what you like, how can you tell a partner?
     
  3. Barbwire

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    Rose hit it right on the head with that statement. If you don't pleasure yourself and find out what gets you off, how can you tell him how to do it? I say, get yourself to come a few times, let him watch when you get good at it, then have him give it a try.

    Oh, and if he's pulling out to keep you from getting pregnant, he's playing with fire. You know that, right?
     
  4. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    Good point, woman! Can't believe I missed that one. :ugh
     
  5. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    Listen to both of them Fanta.
    I would suggest that you buy some condoms
    and the next time you have sex have Him put
    one on and tell him that you need to have fun also

    You guys need a good talk, Really I cant imagine someone
    having sex and still afraid to bring sex up in a conversation.

    Hiker
     
  6. Fanta

    Fanta New Member

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    Thanks, everyone.
    I'm just scared about how he'll react to it. I dont know.
    I hope it works, I really love this boy.
     
  7. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    And if he really loves you - talking will be the BEST thing for both of you. I know it's hard - being young and all - but it's part of growing up and part of being sexually active. You have to be in touch with yourself and you have to be open about what you need.
     
  8. Joe

    Joe
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    Heck, I'm 61, been with too many women, my wife for 8 years, and I still look for directions. Men don't mind being told by our women what they like at all. We WANT to be told!

    Pulling out and jacking off? I think your guy has watched too many porn flicks. And if that's your method of birth control... start planning your baby shower now.
     
  9. Fanta

    Fanta New Member

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    I'm actually on Birth Control, so I kinda supply the condom for both of us.
    Sorry I didn't put that in my first post.
     
  10. Flame_Tamer

    Flame_Tamer New Member

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    all good advice posted above. You need to find out what make you cum before hand to pass on your findings to him. practice makes perfect.
     
  11. bsydemyself

    bsydemyself New Member

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    talk to him!!! and teach yourself how to have an orgasm! (by yourself :)
     
  12. FireGuy

    FireGuy New Member

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    Everyone has posted GREAT advice. Condoms will make him last a little longer hopefully long enough to get your O.

    If you talk openly about things your relationship will become stronger

    Theres really nothing else I can add that hasn't already been addressed, after you have a talk. Suggest that the two of you play a game of experimentation, take turns feeling each other out trying different things & see how the other reacts. You can't go to the next step until you get a positive result from the current one.
     
  13. Localboy_808

    Localboy_808 New Member

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    I dont wanna sound like a fucking marriage counselor or whatever the fuck you call them excuse my language lol but seriously communication is key to a healthy relationship...
     
  14. 123imax

    123imax New Member

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    i completely agree with the whole communication thing but whatever you do, make sure he doesnt get the wrong idea or start thinking he's terrible in bed cos that just wont help either of u...

    remember he's only male and like someone said in an earlier post, you neeeeed to be clear with us, we have a habit of missing the point:)
     
  15. Fanta

    Fanta New Member

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    Thanks guys.
    When he gets back from his trip, Ill talk to him, and do something special for him
     
  16. liquidshells

    liquidshells New Member

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    Talking is all nice and well, but it wont make you come. Sorry for being blunt about it, but he has to KNOW what he's doing to get it right.

    Easiest way for him to make you come? Fingering IME. Have him work on your g-spot. If he puts his finger in you, its about 2-3 inches up on your front vaginal wall. He'll feel it, it feels different than the rest of the vagina. Tell him to stroke it in like a "come here" motion. You'll know what to do from there ;)

    *LS