A few more jokes :)

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Kronnie, Feb 11, 2007.

  1. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide she'll become a hooker.

    She's not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, "Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him a hundred bucks. If you've got a question, I'll be parked around the corner.

    She's not there five minutes when a guy pulls up and says, "How much?"

    "A hundred dollars."

    "Damn. All I've got is thirty."

    "Hold on," she says and runs back to Harry. "What can he get for thirty dollars?"

    "A hand job," Harry replies.

    She runs back and tells the guy all he gets for thirty dollars is a hand job.

    He says okay, she gets in the car; he unzips his pants, and out pops a simply HUGE male unit.

    She stares at it for a minute, and then says, "I'll be right back."

    She runs back around the corner and says breathlessly, "Harry, can you loan this guy seventy bucks?"

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    Grandma Goes to Court

    Defense Attorney: What is your age?

    Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old.

    Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you?

    Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

    Defense Attorney: Did you know him?

    Little Old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly.

    Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down beside you?

    Little Old Woman: He started to rub my thigh.

    Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?

    Little Old Woman: No, I didn't stop him.

    Defense Attorney: Why not?

    Little Old Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away 30 years ago.

    Defense Attorney: What happened next?

    Little Old Woman: He began to rub my breasts.

    Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?
    Little Old Woman: No, I did not stop him.

    Defense Attorney: Why not?

    Little Old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years.

    Defense! Attorney: What happened next?

    Little Old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just spread my old legs and said to him, "Take me, young man, Take me!"

    Defense Attorney: Did he take you?

    Little Old Woman: Hell, no. That's when he yelled, "April Fool!"….And that's when I shot the son of a bitch!
     
  2. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    OMG! GREAT! LOVE IT!

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    .....I WILL NOT COMMENT ON YOUR "GRANDMA" JOKE.
    :lol
     
  3. AnonymousOne

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    *makes a note never to tease Rose* :nerv
     
  4. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    Roflmao.....I hope rose knows i wasnt meaning nothing by that joke ...it was halarios though...

    Shuffles backwards in case i get hit by something :p hehe
     
  5. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    *throws her walking cane in "Kronnie's" direction* :lol
     
  6. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    Touche Rose sorted comeback :)

    Gets clumped on the head by a flying cain. trips an falls on his ass:p
     
  7. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    Je suis mieux que n'importe quelle femme - de n'importe quel âge - que vous jamais saurez !
     
  8. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    Je peux croire que tu es en effet meilleur que n'importe quelle femme que je serai jamais assez chanceux pour connaître ou être avec dans ma vie, votre mari est un homme très chanceux.

    Tu es certainement une dame très animée et belle.
     
  9. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    <shy smile> Thank you... and my sweet Thorn thanks you, as well!

    ... and for what it's worth, i think your 'grandma' joke was funny too! I'm just playing with ya'! :)
     
  10. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    It was my pleasure rose & Thorn :)

    Ya i thought that you were playing,,,and its cool, im an easy guy, an can take a joke :p

    (( I just saw the pictures of you rose, an my word you are stunning ))

    No offence intended Thorn , but You have one heck of a sexy wife.:)