A confession

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Clark, Jul 4, 2006.

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  1. Clark

    Clark Member

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    I have kept a secret for many years, and I wish to share this secret here.

    Years ago (long before I met my wife, and long before the internet) I phone-flirted with a woman who was a school teacher. We were both in our early twenties. I was quite thin and I was told that she was quite overweight (I hadn't met her yet).

    Lemme tell ya something: thin men have a plethora of overweight women to choose from. I don't know why overweight women have a thing for thin men, but they do.

    Anyway, after quite a bit of phone-flirting, this chick wanted to meet me. She was quite clear that she wanted to jump my bones (she'd seen pics of me).

    Now, I had never been with an overweight woman. Alhough I had been with some women in the past who were absolute bombshells, I have always believed that weight was not as important - that overweight people can still be great lovers.

    So, I drove over to her place, knowing perfectly well that we were gonna have sex. She certainly was overweight. I wasn't expecting to be so turned off by her body. I wasn't there for very long before this chick was all over me.

    I've never had any problems getting erections and this was no exception. So, we peeled off our clothes, I put on a condom, and we started going at it.

    .. now this is where things get unusual. Something happened to me that had never happened before.

    As we were having sex, I was looking at her body and I was getting really, really turned off. And then I felt horrible for that. And, pretty soon, it was clear to me that I wasn't going to cum. In fact, I was losing my erection. That has NEVER happened to me during sex.

    I didn't know what to do. I did the only thing I could think of doing.

    I faked an orgasm.

    I'm a guy, and I faked an orgasm. I figured that, since I was wearing a condom, I could get away with it. And I did.

    Now, guys don't talk about this, and so I've never, in my life, heard of a guy faking an orgasm. But I had a condom on, I was going limp, and this was the only way I could think of dealing with it.

    I felt horrible. I cleaned myself up and left. And I broke off contact with her.

    After that, she was (I am told) very mad at me. She felt like I had been an asshole... that I was only phone-flirting with her to get laid and after I got my wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am I said, 'see yea'.

    That's not true. The truth is that I was so turned off by her fat body that I lost my erection. But to tell her that truth would be really, really devastating to her.

    I never told her the truth. I figured that it would be better for her to live her life hating me and thinking I'm an asshole than for me to deliver that blow to her ego.

    After that, I entirely gave up casual sex.
     
  2. pirouette

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    Clark,
    Who says chivalry is dead? As odd as this may sound, I think you did the admirable thing. I would rather have someone pissed off at me than manically depressed about their self image. You faked an orgasm? Then you are also a very good actor. But as for sparing her feelings? I think most people use white lies to make others feel better. Don't focus on your white lie. Instead focus on the fact that she really thinks you got off while getting it on with her. At least she can walk away (pissed off or not) with her ego and self confidence intact.
    I like to know the truth (who doesn't) when it comes to pleasing my man. But if he told me that he couldn't have sex with me due to repulsive body fat, I'd probably be really upset for a loooooong time. I would also do something about my health. And yes, I do understand that for a small percentage of the population, weight loss is medically not possible. But a lot of overweight Americans just eat the wrong foods and lead sedentary lifestyles.
     
  3. bluenavigator

    bluenavigator New Member

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    Whoa... Fake orgasm? Sure fire way to make the lady happy. If it happens that flame went away, just step back and talk about the issue and tell her that things are not going as expected at all. It is better to be friends than adruptly left and never talk with her without any kind of explaination. Just tell that there is no fire or not clicking at all.

    I did had sex with a lady twice. She was well aware that I had girlfriend already. She asked me if I want to move in. I was surprised and told her to sit down and had a talking. She understands that I wasn't looking for new relationship. Just fun. Since then, she is still talking and smiling at me.
     
  4. pirouette

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    I agree that the truth is always best.....but how do you politely tell a woman that she physically repulsed you so much you lost your hard on? Is there a nice way of telling that truth? :ugh
     
  5. pussycat69

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    I guess weighing your options(no pun intended),that was the most politite thing to do.Better for her to be pissed than her self-esteem shot down.
     
  6. SpanishPrisoner

    SpanishPrisoner New Member

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    "You are the first overweight woman I had sex with and I realized it is nothing for me. It made me feel uncomfortable. I'm sorry but I can't have sex with you anymore."

    Not to hard. Just say it politely enough.

    And we are not in a perfect world. Sometimes people get hurt by the most ridiculous things and sometimes people don't give a shit. To get hurt is part of life. But by running away, you are not helping, neither yourself or her.
     
  7. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    :rofl - I'm still stuck at: "I'm a guy, and I faked an orgasm"

    This is the very first time I have ever heard of that. I never thought there was a way a guy could get away with it! :lol But it stands to reason... after all, the package softens up after climax...so, roll that little condom up, flush it down the toilet... TA-DAH!

    So Clark? Did she demand any 'after-glow' time? If so, I bet that was pretty rough. :ugh
    --------------------------------------
    On a serious note, I think you did the right thing. Like Piourette stated, probably all of us have lied to make someone feel better about themselves. (ever see "Liar Liar"? - hilarious) So you come off as the scapegoat, but it was years ago, right? I'd chalk it up to one big learning experience, just as you did, and move on. I don't see it as making you a bad or insensitive person.
     
  8. Clark

    Clark Member

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    I have always favored the truth. I would have told her the truth if I felt like we were going to actually have some kind of serious relationship. But I just knew that wasn't gonna happen.

    I honestly don't remember what we did afterwards. I don't think I immediately left. But I don't think I stayed in bed and cuddled, either.

    What a terrible experience that was. Ugh.
     
  9. fran8judy

    fran8judy New Member

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    Clark, I can relate to you...I was once with this woman who was probably close to 350lbs. and about 5'2" tall. We got our clothes off and she wanted me to lick her. I figured why not? I got down there and the smell that came off that thang was atrocious! I'm not trying to sound mean, but I don't think she was able to get down there to clean herself properly. I politely excused myself for a glass of water, and feigned sickness. Never did hook up with her again.
     
  10. pirouette

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    Clark,
    If you don't remember what you 2 did afterwards, I would guess it was very traumatic for you. It's no wonder you withheld the truth from her. I'm pretty sure you weren't expecting to have this problem. So it probably caught you off your guard. It sounds like you were shocked by the situation and didn't know what to do.
    As Rose said, "It was one big learning experience". You are aware of what you did, and how it affected her. It has taught you not to do that again (hopefully making you a better person in the long run).
    Sometimes my best learning experiences only teach me what I dislike. But that knowledge can be invaluable in shaping a happy future.
     
  11. etexboy38

    etexboy38 New Member

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    relating to this

    ==
    Clark, I also can relate to this. Why I ever met up with her is beyond me, but WELL I hate to admit it, I felt hmmmm, well I'll try to eat it abit if I can push the flesh aside. When it finally came apart, I had to get to pop-sickle pieces of wood to keep it that way so I could get to it but GOOD LAWD, the smell made me gag. How could any man ever do this. Actually, it turned me against it for many years. Lost some good girl friends along the way, proably thinking, "I was gay or whatever", but no doubt, I'll never make that mistake E V E R again. Coffee, Tea or pu-say.
     
  12. Clark

    Clark Member

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    This is very true. I was definitely caught off guard. I was really freaking out, and didn't know what to do at all.

    Feels like crap, though.
     
  13. pirouette

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    Yes, but that's how you know you won't do it again.
     
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