3some anyone?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Iwonder, Jun 20, 2005.

  1. Iwonder

    Iwonder New Member

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    This is complicated, would like to hear input from anyone whos in/has been in a similar situation.

    My fiance and I (im the guy shes the girl) have been talking about a threesome for a long time, sometimes it seems like we're getting closer to being ready, and sometimes it seems like she's trying to back away from the subject. She has a tendancy to change her mind/feelings on things in drastic sways (for example : about a month ago we had a conversation about how i hate feeling like i must stare at the floor when i walk through places where there might be attractive women (even when im alone and she wouldn't even know it) and she says "i dont mind if you look at women, wouldn't even mind if you flirted a little if you enjoy it" even though i was given the "OK" i didnt, and the next time the subject came out she was OBVIOUSLY not "ok" with it.) just seems to be the way she is. I think it's her self-esteam, sometimes its high others its low(even when i try to help).

    But our current standing (on a good day) is this...
    We want to have one, and I very much want to be with someone of either sex while she's there HOWEVER..it would have to be a gay guy so he wasn't interested in her at all, and she's not OK with another woman(which is fine since im not ok with her and another man). She seems to agree with wanting to see me with a guy, but will never seem to take steps to actually move along the path to making it happen (she's in college and so she meets FAR more sexually open/gay people than i do, theres noone i run into that even seems remotely approachable). Furthermore, I would love to see her with a woman, of course i wouldn't interact with the other woman, id enjoy just helping them pleasure her. This idea is KO'd by the fact that my fiance isn't interested in pleasureing a woman, and would definatly not be OK if I did so...and how are we gonna find a woman who wants to join us just to help get her off and be left unsatisfied?

    Bah, such a distressing situation, I want to be extremly open and experience every type of non-beastial/masichistic sex. And I want to experience them with her. But, she DEFINATLY has territorial issues with me and anyone else, and so do i. Her with a woman, thats WAAAY OK, but a man? I don't think I could handle it, at all, just the thought of it makes me want to kill people. So I guess were kinda just doomed huh? Unless some good lookin gay guy just happens to show up on my doorstep, or she decide she wants to give a girl some lovin.
     
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  2. LEVI

    LEVI New Member

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    Same Boat

    ME AND MY WIFE ARE IN THE SAME BOAT " THINKING ABOUT A THREESOME. " WE HAVE NOT DONE IT YET ;BUT WE KEEP TALKING ABOUT THE IDEA.IT SEEMS TO REALLY TURN HER ON. IF YOU DO NOT BELIVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS STRONG ENOUGH, AND IT SEEMS TO ME IT'S NOT - I WOULD NOT DO IT. ME AND MY WIFE STARTED GOING OUT IN THE 9TH GRADE AND 13 YEARS LATER WE ARE STILL TOGETHER. I BELIVE I WANT IT AS MUCH AS SHE DOES. IT MAKES ME HORNEY JUST THINKING OF ANOTHER GUY BANGING HER! IF YOU DO IT- TALK ABOUT IT FIRST. BOTH AGREE ON THE PERSON AND THEN APPROACH HIM/HER TOGETHER. WE HAVE PICKED A GUY FRIEND WHOS 19 AND IN COLLEGE. HE LIVES A LONG WAY OFF. HE WOULD HAVE TO COME VISIT. I WORRY MORE ABOUT HIM OUT PERFORMONG ME- HEY HE'S 19 AND I'M 27. MAKE YOUR OWN DESCION, MAYBE PICK SOME ONE THAT LIVES A GOOD DISTANCE FROM YOU. I WOULD NOT DO IT IF YOU DO NOT FEEL THAT YOUR RELATIONSHIP COULD HANDLE IT. HOPE THIS WAS A HELP - WAIT TILL YOU SEE THE LOOK ON THE HIS/HER FACE WHEN TOY ASK THEM. I'LL NEVER FORGET IT> :drool :drool :toast :toast :bdance :bdance :nuts
     
  3. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

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    Threesomes - Reply

    I am in a similar situation like you but I have began to understand it. A few years ago we did a mfm with a male friend of hers and prior to that threesome we did a few things that could be classified as a variation of a threesome, maybe open marriage depending on your perspective. Well, after those experience we ebb and flow with doing another threesome. It seems we are about to try looking for another male to play with us and then she pulls back. From the discussions we have had about the subject I know:

    She is terroritorial and is very uncomfortable with another woman.

    Her 'fear' is that she might enjoy it too much and want to do it all of the time

    She is uncomfortable with someone she does not know

    She is very conflicted about the idea, both wanting to do it again and not.

    When we talk about it she fluctuates from not wanting me there so she can play on her own (as she has before), to wanting me there, to wanting the other guy to watch or being completely opposed to the idea.

    For me if we do it again great as I know she would really enjoy it this time and if we never do it again, I am okay too as I love her.
     
  4. pirouette

    Gold Member

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    Just my opinion, Iwonder, but if she flips on basic stuff like flirting and looking at women, your relationship is not ready for a third wheel. Give it time and a lot more conversations about it. It seems that most women are territorial and most men are worried about being outperformed in this situation. Reaffirming your own relationship will help strengthen your trust and allow you to work toward unusual scenarios like this one. Be patient!
     
  5. Bluesy

    Gold Member

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    Aside from what's already been mentioned, a possibility is that a threesome is appealing to her in theory, but it isn't something she would feel comfortable doing in real life. I get off on all kinds of fantasies that seem like they would work well in reality, but I doubt they actually would. I would never pursue a fantasy unless I was 100% certain I wanted to do it. Regret can be messy in these situations.
     
  6. Lusty Dreams

    Lusty Dreams New Member

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    I have to agree with the others. You 2 don't sound stable enough to try this out yet. It can cause LOADS of mistrust and anger :( Just stick to fantasies right now.
     
  7. Joe

    Joe
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    I think there are many fantasies that are best left as fantasies. My late wife's fantasy was a MMF fling, but she was perfectly happy to leave it as a fantasy. I'd have a major problem being in bed with a naked guy; I don't think I could ever do it. And I'd also have a problem watching my wife having sex with another guy. As a fantasy it's fun to imagine, but to make it a reality? Not for me.
     
  8. Chris0123

    Chris0123 New Member

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    i would be too scared and become too jealous if i was to have a 3 some, i would be different if it was a one night stand between the 3 of us. but in a relationship even thought i would love it it would be too difficult for both parties (emotional that is)
     
  9. Bella

    Gold Member

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    How many threads are there on threesomes now? :shrug
    ~Bella
     
  10. Bella

    Gold Member

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    How many threads are there on threesomes now? :shrug
    Don't mean to be rude, but their are several. :ugh
    I would follow the advice already given. :)
    Bluesy & Pirouette give great advice! :cheer
    ~Bella
     
  11. lickablesue

    lickablesue New Member

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    my first threesome my b/f had asked for, even begged me for months, the day after we did , he left said he did not feel he could trust me any more. so if your going to do this, make sure your very strong together
     
  12. suite91

    suite91 Member

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    :ugh That's shit!
    That is NOT a typical outcome.
     
  13. smallpackage

    smallpackage New Member

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    This thread is almost 2 years old....very odd to get this thread dug up.
     
  14. lickablesue

    lickablesue New Member

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    sorry thats my fault i was just looking around
     
  15. vampire raver

    vampire raver New Member

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    That is fucked up sorry that is just my feeling
    I feel bad for you I bet you were heart broken sorry dude
     
  16. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    the dude is a female dude :p


    I am sure sue is more than likly better off without a sorry assed loser like that anyways .




    3somes / 4 or 5 somes arnt for everyone

    But if all concerned are single to start with then they can work pretty well i think.
     
  17. lickablesue

    lickablesue New Member

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    ye i was, but you know the saying about a women scorned,
    well so does he now lmfao,
    not sure how, but word soon got around about his bedroom skills,
    and not from me by the way, although i did nothing to stop them lol
    god i can be a bitch
     
  18. vampire raver

    vampire raver New Member

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    I know she is a women
    This friend that was a girl use to say dude all the time and thats how we responded to each other

    So it comes out like that some times sorry for the misunderstanding
     
  19. vampire raver

    vampire raver New Member

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    well I guess people get what they deserve and like kronnie said you don't need someone like that anyway

    but i am sure it is not fun when that happens
     
  20. RainbowMuncher

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    Three some = yay.. but.. wow.. how i go against myself.. lol..I would enjoy a threesome.. only if i was with a person who agreed and the other person was someone both myself and my partner know and have known for some time.