3 Relationship Types in Tantra...Your Thoughts?

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by gypsymantis, Nov 24, 2006.

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  1. gypsymantis

    gypsymantis New Member

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    Just wanted to get others thoughts on the 3 relationship types in tantra. I'm sure there are others here that are familiar with this reading, but I'd love to see what others think and where their personal relationship lies.

    I think I had the first of the relationships with my x, but my taraka and I both believe that we are twin flames which is the 3rd.
    When I hear Rose and Thorn talk here, I always think they just have to be twin flames. Everyone should be so lucky.
    I feel like I want the world to feel the intense passion and love I have in my soul for my man.
    Anyway here's the reading.....

    Most love relationships occur between Karmic Soul Mates, people who have karmic ties, either positive or negative. In one way or another the partners have known each other before, probably many times before. Basically, they have "unfinished business." One or both owes a "karmic debt." Sexual attraction is one of the best ways to induce us to get involved in repayment of karmic debts. Sex is the lure, the bait, that induces us to feel and not to think. As a result, Karmic Soul Mates can have intense, but not always positive relationships. Usually, these relationships tend to be turbulent, even obsessive. We move through them, and sometimes we grow.

    A second type of soul mate is the Task Companion, a project-oriented partner. The partners get together in order to accomplish something. The task may be outside the intimacy of the love relationship or it may be that each seeks to help the other. Task Companions have positive karmic ties. When united in a love relationship, they tend to be companions and best friends. Their relationship will be more mellow than that of Karmic Soul Mates. This type of love relationship usually provides a stable, healthy environment for raising children and, indeed, that is often one of the shared tasks. When the task is complete, this couple may feel an emptiness in their relationship.

    The third and most sought-after type of soul mate is the Twin Flame (also called the twin or counterpart). Your Twin Flame is the person with whom you most perfectly belong in this lifetime. Your Twin Flame is someone with whom you have strong, extremely positive karmic links. If you are lucky enough to meet your Twin Flame, the pull to unite in an intimate love relationship will be extremely powerful. It may be so powerful that it will transcend social barriers of age, race, or religion. This is the most beautiful, most compelling love of all, but it also can be the most dangerous. Twin Flames can build a relationship so strong, so all-encompassing that it becomes its own entity like a third person and each partner is sacrificed to it.
     
  2. AnonymousOne

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    Seeing as how I don't really buy into karma ... I don't really buy alot of this. Given what we know about pheremonal influences on the companions you keep and are attracted to...

    Still, I think that there is soemthing that we are missing. I'm not sure it's karma, but there is something in a lasting relationship that makes it very special. :shrugs I'm an economics major ... Maybe it's just cost/benefit ;).
     
  3. cbrmale

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    What you are talking about in Tantra (and I've studied it) is what I came across in psychology as well, where there are different types of love, typically three.

    The first is extreme passion, and these relationships don't often last. The second is a friendship type of love, and these relationships can sometimes fail because (as in your posting) the couple eventually realise that something is missing.

    I think many on this board will have the combination of friendship and passion, the soulmate which the Tantrics call Twin Flame. Certainly I do.

    These different types of love and attraction seem universal, regardless of culture, although many cultures put prefer companionship-type relationships to passionate ones. But certainly relationships that combines companionship and passion are priceless in so many ways.
     
  4. gypsymantis

    gypsymantis New Member

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    Oh come on! How very unromantic of you. I just cannot believe that you really think of love in the same way as money matters.

    BTW, I have a degree in business and first of all...for me a mistake. I'm much too idealistic, so I guess it's not a way of thinking in general for me.
     
  5. AnonymousOne

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    Oh stop it Miss gypsy :p, I think that people either consciously or unconsciously determine the costs and benefits of every action they take. Is it really so far fetched that the person you fall in love with gives you the greatest benefit to yourself? Seeing them happy makes you happy? I just throw that out there. (I love playing Devil's Advocate)

    Madam, You will be hard pressed to find someone on this forum as idealistic as I, I'm a Libertarian that leans toward anarcho-capitalism. :lol You could say I'm idealistic. :p
     
  6. gypsymantis

    gypsymantis New Member

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    I know what you speak of, but in tantra, as you obviously know there is much more to this. Tantric relationships are based on equality and spiritual connection and each partnership there hopes for the twin flame relationship of near perfection in love. I realize that people in general have different focus' in relationships and much studied and documented as you stated....
    passion
    friendship
    both

    But my point is...in tantra, these are much more widely investigated. Especially the 3rd...the twin flame philosophy. Just the idea that this person is somehow your spiritual twin making the friendship, love, passion and basic emotional attachment to one another transcendant, pure and even overwhelming.
    I guess I wonder how many of us think they have found that. I was honest with myself in my relationships...even my marriage from the beginning I knew wasn't that kind of relationship.
    People talk about their soulmate and every dreamer hopes to one day meet that person. I believe some do, but many people are deceived by their own minds to believe they have.
    And the idea that maybe this person has been in your life for many lives.
    Taraka, my love, has the ability to give me orgasm from simply touching me. I'm not talking about touching any of the traditionally known spots, I'm talking about rubbing my back in certain ways, rubbing my feet in certain ways, rubbing my legs in certain ways. He still won't disclose to me how he does it, but I average over 15 orgasms in one backrub and he never once touches my breasts or my ass or vagina. He can do this each and every time.
    When we are tantric, I have actually felt as if our bodies were one. I mean actually one physical being. It's so intense and beautiful.
    Does anyone else here have that ability with their lover? Are you in a twin flame relationship? Anyone else try tantric lovemaking?
     
  7. gypsymantis

    gypsymantis New Member

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    Sure we do...well I hope we do....but isn't true love beyond that? Quite honestly, that is the essence of it...this doting on your lover with no expectations. All actions without expectations....only a feeling that you want to please your lover in all facets of life.
    No, I don't believe that all relationships function in this way and the human condition dictates our need to be given at least as much attention as we dole out, but this kind of love doesn't need any of that. It's so overwhelming that you give to one another of all of yourself and have no fear of feeling empty because whatever you have given is being filled up by them filling you with all of themself. (not talking about the physical filling up right now :brow )
    Aside from the love relationship my partner and I have, there are no obvious benefits for either of us. If his friends and family knew the truths about me, they would kidnap him and hide him from me. And this is no exaggeration. My friends have told me plenty of times that even though we have a wonderful relationship and he is very good to my children...."you could meet someone with all of that and money to support you". You see, he's pretty poor. A starving artist to be exact....but money, even the costs and benefits as you say, are transcended by our connection.
    But truly...that wasn't why I posted. I just want to hear about other people's experiences with tantra, if any and maybe turn someone on to a most pleasant way of making love and most of all to hear how other twin flames here are together.
    I don't believe you unromantic A1. I don't think you're any less idealistic than me. I guess I just wanted to allow you the chance to see that it goes beyond cost and benefit. It's really more.
     
  8. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    I have been over the hill and down the road a piece in my life.
    So I do know a little about most things in life.
    BUT
    When it comes to love and a lasting relationship, Don't
    expect to find love in a book, Or even guidelines such as Tantra.
    Love is something you get from another human being and you
    know when you get it. And reading Tantra wont help a bit
    as you either have the love and respect for the person
    that you are with or you don't Their is problems along the way
    like how to do oral sex, and that you can bring here and eventually
    we can solve the problems for you. But the game of love comes from you
    and your partner, now from a how to book.
     
  9. gypsymantis

    gypsymantis New Member

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    I'm not talking about reading a book. I'm talking about acting on it. Living spiritually and if nothing else, learning techniques to work those ways of thinking into your lovemaking.
    Tantra is more than a guide to a way to make love. And also...in tantra, respect is not even really necessary to worry about...it seems, and this is just speaking for myself, that we go beyond respect. We regard one another as divine (uncapitalized).
     
  10. Bluesy

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    Wow. Just...wow. So can I find my soulmate by approaching every guy I meet and asking him to give me a quick back or foot massage? "OH GOD, YES!!!" Yep, that's the one! ;) If only it were that simple.
     
  11. gypsymantis

    gypsymantis New Member

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    LOL, Uhh don't think that's how it worx...least not for us. We did have an instant connection, but have been working at our relationship for 2 years too.
    The backrubs are a symption...not the cause.
     
  12. Bluesy

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    I was just being silly ;) I would love to have what you've found with Taraka. I do believe in that "instant connection", and now that I know better I wouldn't waste time getting to know someone who's "got a good personality/sense of humor/etc." if I didn't feel a little click somewhere on a psychic level at the get-go.
     
  13. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    Gypsy personally I believe you are just talking nonsense.
    all that going for you for 2 years, and you are,'t even married yet
    you had better back up and take another look at love.
     
  14. gypsymantis

    gypsymantis New Member

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    Wow hiker...that's quite a response. Seems filled with some kind of bitterness and I'm quite certain it's not directed at me.

    I was married for 10 years to someone that I married quickly. 10 years is a long time and I know that I've known people who dated for many years and didn't even make it that long. But what I'm talking about is not really about marriage.

    If you'd like my personal opinion on marriage though, I'll be happy to give that. Taraka and I took vows to one another under the One we consider G-d to be. We signed no legal papers and made no ceremony of it, though we are more committed to one another than MOST of the legal marriages I know. I suppose this is the romantic part of both of us....but also a bit of the anarchist in both of us.
    Committment doesn't have to be legalized to be real. We have been so conditioned to do what's commercially accepted or what's socially acceptable that we follow like sheeple.
    If it's not your way, than I have no place to judge that. I really don't care what others do in their relationships. I'm only concerned with mine and tantra is a part of that.
    You seem to be really disinterested in the topic therefore I guess I wonder why you seem set on debunking my opinions.
    This whole topic though really isn't even related to this thread.
    I opened up this thread as a way to find out again and I will repeat:
    But truly...that wasn't why I posted. I just want to hear about other people's experiences with tantra, if any and maybe turn someone on to a most pleasant way of making love and most of all to hear how other twin flames here are together.
    All good thoughts to you hiker...
    I truly hope you have had or have the chance to experience what I'm talking about, and if it's not your gig, than cool, but please don't judge me. I know you didn't come here to be judged and neither did I.
    I personally came for some light-hearted fun, sometimes serious questions, to possibly help younger ones (as I would've loved to have back than) and to hopefully meet new people.
    I love what I see here and hope that I don't become an object of judgement. I do have some quite different views on life and love and sex, but it doesn't necessarily make them bad...even if you disagree with them.
     
  15. gypsymantis

    gypsymantis New Member

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    I totally figured that Bluesy! :)
    I believe like the readings that I've encountered and from what I've experienced, it happens when you least expect it!
    It's not that Taraka and I lack problems. We go through what everyone goes through, but somehow unlike any relationship I've ever had, we want it so badly that we are doting of one another, we work hard together to make it work, we have very similar ideas and likes and dislikes. The funniest thing that we realized together is that we're both square pegs! :lol

    We are together 24/7. We live together, raise my children together and even work together. We have been working together for over a year now and it's amazing for us! Most people tell us..."omg we would kill each other" referring to the possibility of working with their partner...but we wouldn't give it up for the world.

    I'm amazed and more in love every day!
     
  16. cbrmale

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    I will second the comment that Hiker's post seemed bitter. The comment about marriage is very old-fashioned, marriage is a legal institution and certainly not necessary for love to blossom.

    As far as Tantra goes, it doesn't 'teach' love, but it enhances the physical and mental connection and pleasure you experience with the person you love.

    Our Tantra was not learned in a book, it was done one-on-one with a Goddess. Very explicit too, but it is necessary to watch and learn from someone who knows, and there is only one way to watch and learn and that is to do. Fortunately Australia's legalisation of the sex industry make such couples sessions possible.

    Tantra it is very special because it takes the typical sexual situation of two people in their own spaces (eyes closed and not interacting much) and merges them together into one sexual being. It is an interesting adjunct to my psych because the standard sexual script is known as 'sexual trance', and most couples do drift into sexual trance during routine lovemaking. Tantra is very much the opposite of this.

    It also raises the bar on pleasure, particularly for men. I don't practise non-ejaculation, but I do have multiple orgasms and I certainly have whole-body orgasms, which kind of make the average male orgasm seem very tame by comparison.

    The other thing is once mastered (and it is mastered quite quickly), it is always there. You go into another space as far as love and sex goes, and that is the space you occupy for the rest of your life.
     
  17. gypsymantis

    gypsymantis New Member

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    So very true! Even when we are not in the full act of tantra, we are tantric much of the time. He is the god and I am the goddess....always! We do practice "fucking" now too though. Just letting ourselves go and gettin down and dirty!
    We are tantric in much of our daily actions with one another too. It's funny how it drifts into your daily experiences with each other.

    Really liked what you had to say CBR.:)
     
  18. cbrmale

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    Gypsymantis,
    The last point is normal sex after Tantra becomes different. We still do 'quickie' fucking, especially in the middle of the night, and I still get whole body orgasms without much effort. Even when it is fast and hard, you still use some of the techniques and - voila!

    As far as non-ejaculation goes, I do have non-ejaculatory orgasms, but I always finish a given session with ejaculation. I personally don't buy the theory of draining energy, and ejaculatory orgasms feel more 'full', even though the non-ejaculatory orgasms on the way are very nice in their own way. Like women, men can 'ride' that almost total orgasmic state where one blends into another and another and another.
     
  19. JuicyB

    JuicyB New Member

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    Tantric involuntary orgasm?

    I've heard that there's this Hindu sex technique where the guy sticks his dick in the girl, and the both stay totally without moving! And the genitals involuntarily move on their own and can reach orgasm! And the couple just sits still there meditating while their genitals do their thing! Is this true? It sounds intriguing!
     
  20. cbrmale

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    I've not heard of such a thing, although the yab-yum or lotus position in Tantra is close to this. Man sits with legs crossed, woman on his lap and facing him. Not much movement, the woman is supposed to squeeze rather than the man thrust. But there is movement, just a different type of movement.
     
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