24yo Male Premature Ejaculation

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Chonen, Jul 12, 2011.

  1. Chonen

    Chonen New Member

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    I am a 24 year old male who has been married for less than a year to a woman I have bee with for 8 years. We have been sexually active for most of that time and have not had any real problems. Within the past 9 months or so I have been experiencing premature ejaculation. it seems that I cannot last much more than a minute (sometimes less) and I cannot get her to climax.
    She has been very understanding but as time has passed she is understandably frustrated. A sexual experience now normally means that she will not get satisfied and I feel insufficient and depressed because of this. She has a fairly straightforward approach to sex. There is not alot of foreplay, she enjoys oral stimulation but really only as a precursor to penetration. She rarely employs the use of toys and does not want to be "finished" by a toy. This kind of reduces the tools in my toolbox to my own performance which has been severely lacking.
    This has led to less intercourse because I do not want to be the only one seeking gratification in sex.
    I worry that over time this will lead to lessened sexual attraction and therefore very sparse sexual encounters with her.
    I can last longer during masturbation and fellatio but during intercourse or even using a Fleshlight does not last very long.
    I am contemplating seeing a physician to see if there are any physical explanations. I would like to see a sex therapist but I have no insurance and counseling sessions are far outside of my college budget.
    Personally I am fumbling my way through trying Kegel PC Muscle Exercises and trying to be mindful of my breathing.
    I have also heard that taking zinc supplements are beneficial in increasing testosterone and ginseng for energy.
    I thought this would be something that would fade away but it has not. I do not want to simply accept that this is what my new sex life is going to be. I would like to take proactive steps to improve the situation.
     
  2. Meee

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    Fly-by psychoanalysis:

    I can't help noticing the timing. After a long relationship, you finally got married a few months ago, and the short ejaculation time started a few months ago. Hmmm.

    Stress and worries can affect sexual functioning. You're a student, you're newly married, so you have a lot on your mind.
     
  3. Mittimer

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    I'm actually going with what Mee said. Sometimes even my guy who can last till the cows come home if need be, has trouble staying aroused and not cumming quickly. The times are few and far between and it's generally when it's 1 of 2 things. 1) Extremely over stressed and mentally not there or 2) Extremely turned on.

    Also, have you been masturbating more before sex as of lately?
    Have you tried different positions?
     
  4. pbs

    pbs
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    You might try shaving her pussy, especially around the opening, so there is no rough ring of hair around your penis as you move in and out. In fact, if you get it really clean (stubble free), it's hard to feel the opening at all. Also, have you tried inserting a finger or 2 while giving her oral, and bringing her to orgasm that way?
     
  5. hornyscot

    hornyscot New Member

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    your problem is noy unique among men and affects a lrager number than you think, the secret is to make her sexual experience enjoyable and if possible make her cum at least once before getting to intercourse. the more you wory about your performance the worse your problem will get. yes do go with whats stated above but also try to learn new techniques to slow you down, when masturbating, bring yourself almost to the point of climax and than stop, give yourself a minute and then start again, repeat and so on. it will take time but persevere with this, it works.there are a few other methods and plenty of sound advice within sexual orientated books. above all try and stay relaxed and at the end of the day as long as you are giving each other pleasure within a loving relationship it doesnt matter who cums first. i know there will be people who say this a nonsense but thy are not the ones having your problem, good luck with it.
     
  6. Chonen

    Chonen New Member

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    Thank you for the advice. I have tried masturbating before sex but that does not seem to have an effect. In fact I haven't been able to draw any real correlations between when I last a long time and when I don't.
    I have started to masturbate and stop before climax to condition myself to last longer. Is once a day overdoing it?
     
  7. Near

    Near New Member

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    Nope, it's not. The "stopping before climax" I mean. You should do that every day. There are even some people who suggest doing that for an hour a day. Just make sure you have a lot of water-based lube to avoid drying up and hurting your penis.

    Good luck!
     
  8. Lake57

    Lake57 New Member

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    Using oral and toys to be sure she gets off might help you both relax and have time to talk about it after you are both spent. Give yourselves extra time to listen and talk about it. The talking was embarrassing to me at first but has led to us having better sex. Just a thought...