22 and a virgin having some problems

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by azgard, May 1, 2007.

  1. azgard

    azgard New Member

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    I am 22 years old i havent really even touched another girl. when i was in school i was very shy and did not talk to many people and now i dont talk to many other people other then my family. i run my own small business with my parents to keep me busy but recently this problem has really been bothering me i get very upset all the time i have tried talking to some girls but most act like i dont even exist. . i dont think im a bad looking person i am not fat at all i am about 140lbs and in very good shape. i did have tried seeing a couple girls my age one was a year older and after she found out i really liked her she didnt want to talk to me anymore the reason she said she could not be more then friends was becouse i was a virgin. even younger girls i have recently been talking to this girl whos 17 and she was very nice to me asked me if i wanted to hang out which is very unsual no one ever asked me and after talking with her for a while on the phone and computer she just one day wont answer me anymore she knows im a virgin as well. i look young for my age most people would guess im 17 or so so i do get younger girls talking to me. but i got an younger brother who tells everyone everything about me becouse they all think its funny and give me shit all the time and they are almost like they are afraid of me. i would like to find a girlfriend my age as younger girls annoy the hell out of me and all everyone wants to do now adays is get drunk high or drugs as i live in a very high drug area. but i will drink occasionally but i will not go out to partys and puke my brains out like everyone else.


    If any one can give me some advice it would really help
     
  2. Hero0fDaHouse

    Hero0fDaHouse New Member

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    wow, those are some pretty shallow girls. they don't want to talk to you simply because you're a virgin? i don't think i've met any girls like that. honestly, i'd think a lot of womne would see that as a good thing if they're looking foor serious relationships.

    but if these girls are only looking for sex, they might prefer a more experienced guy. of course, even then, i don't see why it would hurt to have sex with a virgin. one idea would be to not tell them you're a virgin.

    anyway, i'm 19 and i'm still a virgin. i've never had a girlfriend and i don't go out on dates.
     
  3. azgard

    azgard New Member

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    the main problem i have is meeting them. most girls i have come in contact with is friends of my brother. my brother is 19 and can be a real dickhead is mean to girls he has cheated on every one of his girlfrinds but still they keep calling him but also alot of those girls are real slutty and party type which i am not really into. also my brother likes to to pick on people i dont tell girls im a virgin he runs around telling them that and they think its all funny to make fun of me. i am not the type of person to fight or anything but lately there are some people that need a good puch in the face.

    when i try to talk to a girl that i have never met i get very nervous and just dont know what to say and i dotn know if its just me but find a real nice girls. it may just be the city i live in id ont know but its not a very big place. and im sick of people Girls pretending to be nice to me to try to get me to buy them beer- since im over 21-- i also wont do that becouse too many people get in trouble doing that around here.

    that also is causing me problems becouse i dont know if they really like me or just want something from me i cant trust people very well.
     
  4. Hero0fDaHouse

    Hero0fDaHouse New Member

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    hmm, your brother does sound like a dick. and i'd hate to break this to you, but a lot of younger girls are very shallow. so shallow that they choose the jerks over the nice guys.

    if they're slutty girls that's probably why they mind the virgin thing. you should probably go meet some girls on your own. you don't have to tell them you're a virgin.

    honestly, if you're shy around girls and your brother is mean to them, a lot of girls would choose him. it gives them the idea he has confidence. there are other ways to show it, but that's how some guys do it. personally, i don't think it's worth it.
     
  5. Hero0fDaHouse

    Hero0fDaHouse New Member

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    by the way, my 17 year old brother is kind of like that also. he is really mean and sarcastic with girls, while i'm generally nice and somewhat shy. i used to envy him big time.

    however, after a while i stopped for several reasons. first off, he's not really much more successful than me with girls. even though we're both virgins and intend on staying virgins for a while, he doesn't really get more attention than me. secondly, i've become less shy with girls in college, before i used to barely ever talk to girls. so he really doesn't have me beat personalitywise. and thirdly, i've realized that personality is always something that can change and that all girls go for the same type of personality. now i'm more focused on things like looks, which do matter to girls, and cannot change. and when it comes to looks, he has cooler hair than me, but beyond that, we're pretty even.
     
  6. Unquenchable

    Unquenchable New Member

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    Alright, both of you... These are your younger brothers! I hate to break it to either of you, but if you are letting your little bros fuck shit up for you, you have bigger problems then women. To Azgard, if that was my little brother (who incidentally is 19) I would beat the living hell out him. If he is bigger and stronger, hit the gym until you can beat the living hell out of him. Also to Azgard, say no to 17 year old girls dude. First off thats probably jail bait as your 22 and second of all I'm sure you can do better. What it really sounds like you need to do is to find a scene to get involved with. Like you said it seems like everyone just likes to go and get fucked up and party. I don't care where you live, that is not the case, its just the people you are exposed too. Try joining some sort of club, or getting involved with a community project... it sounds like that would really broaden your social circle anyway. My best advice to give you, and I don't know if you've been to college yet, is to try hitting up some night classes or something at your local junior college. You can acquire some skills as well as meet new people. Basically man, you have to meet new people whether they are girls/guys whatever, because hanging in your little bro's social group doesn't sound like it is cutting it for you.
     
  7. Fliteskates

    Fliteskates Member

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    I was in a situation much like you when I was a teen and into my early 20s.

    I was good at sports, especially hockey, but girls used to make me really nervous.

    I actually had girls calling me and I wouldn't know what to say, and so they would get bored and not call back.

    In high school, I was in love with this girl who sat in front of me in health class. She turned around one day and wrote on my gym bag, "You are a cutie"

    Any other guy would of been all over that, but I just smiled and kept reading my book. I found out from a friend she really liked me (duh) and he kept trying to get us together, but I was too scared to talk to her.

    It always haunted me that I had this beautiful girl who was in to me, and I was too scared to
    do anything about it.

    At the rink, my friends would always bring their girlfriends to our hockey games, and those girls brought their friends.

    Then many times these girls would ask about me and after the games they would come up and tell me I played great and this and that.. and I would smile and say thx..and that was about it.

    It just ate at me for yrs that I was so shy...

    Then my life changed one day...

    My first year of college, I was in my microeconomics class, and this beautiful girl sat next to me...she started asking me about the professor and such.. and I got nervous and got up..it was an auditorium style classroom..I made an excuse about being sick and not wanting to give her a cold and I tried to climb to the row behind me...and my foot caught on the chair and I fell backwards and landed on my ass.

    Everyone was laughing and I felt like a total loser..she came up to me and was like are you ok blah blah.

    I picked my stuff up and left.. and dropped the class. I never felt so low and pathetic..

    I called my friend up who was really outgoing, and who I could tell anything to. I told him how I felt and he told me to just talk to these girls like they where guys. Then ask alot of questions.. girls will carry 99% of the conversation he told me.

    Maybe two weeks later, I was at a game, and my buddy's lady brought her friend. I would skate past her and kept staring at her. She came up to talk to me at the end of the game and I was really nervous... but I kept asking questions like my boy told me to.

    The conversation really flowed... each question lead to another.. and before I knew it, we had been talking for an hour or so.

    We all went out together and she and I kept talking all night. We ended up dating... turns out she was a lingerie model for Casablanca. We dated for awhile then moved on.

    I then was volunteering at my mom's daycare, and she told me this one girl, Amanda, liked me. She said Amanda wanted to meet me, so while I was nervous, I decided to meet her.

    We took a walk and I started to ask questions like I had learned, and things went from there. Unbelievably, she was also a model... she did part time work for wedding catalogs.

    I went from never dating, to dating two models back to back. My friends started making jokes about me being too stuck up to date anyone but models.. it made me feel good and I knew if I could date women like this, I wasn't really out of any girls league...but I had to be social if I wanted to keep meeting women.

    My confidence with women just started to soar. Then after Amanda and I stopped dating, I met my current g/f. She knew I was still a virgin, and she was really excited about it. She wanted to teach me how to make love to her.. mold me into the lover she always wanted.

    With the other girls I learned how to get them off orally, play with their G-spot, etc.

    So this was fine with my g/f for several months, but then she wanted to have sex. I was nervous, but I got through it. Long story short, within maybe two months, I became the aggressor, the one who made up new positions, found new ways to make her cum, etc.

    If I could turn myself around into a social person with women, and learn how to make my g/f cum like crazy shortly after having sex for the first time, you can do these thing as well, believe me.

    My advice is for you to volunteer for a worthy cause, and you will probably meet kind and compassionate women this way.

    Then simply ask them questions about their lives.. it isn't hard once you start doing it. Most women love to talk, believe me lol.

    Keep eye contact and make sure you listen to what they say. Women love a good listener.

    As for being a virgin, any woman worth losing your virginity to, won't make fun of you.

    Teenage girls in general are immature and annoying. They want to be accepted and fit in, so they act like this in many cases. Don't let it bother you.

    With your brother, throwing fists won't solve anything. It will just cause him to continue his behavior.

    Tell him how it is making you feel, be totally honest with him. If he loves you and is any kind of brother, he will stop.

    Just believe in yourself and you have to keep telling yourself you are worth loving. We all are.
     
  8. goofball123

    goofball123 New Member

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    Im in the same situation as you, so i know what you're going through. I'd suggest just talking to them like you would any other person: just be yourself. Now i just have to follow my own advice and i'd be good...:ugh
     
  9. azgard

    azgard New Member

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    i really need to do something this summer before i go nuts. it really helps if girls come up and talk to me at least that way i know they are interested. if i go up to them and say hi or something i get ignored alot and i never know what to say i always thing they thikn im a dumb loser or something.
     
  10. Hero0fDaHouse

    Hero0fDaHouse New Member

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    hmmm, if you're good looking, girls will always be interested if you go up and talk to them. so if you're good looking, go for it and don't be afraid.

    if you're not very good looking, then either do something with your hair or work out, or learn some seduction techniques. i suggest this site, www.seductioninsider.com. go to the forum. there are experts there. if you can't do either, then hit on some lower quality girls.
     
  11. burton

    burton New Member

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    Okay, well don't just say hi. half of what you say doesn't matter, it's how you say it and the circumstances. If you're shy, then thats okay, just don't over do it. but make sure your entrance isn't one that they may find unsettling.
     
  12. Brad

    Brad New Member

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    Firstly though it was 20 years ago since I was your age, I can relate to your situation.

    On your brother:

    I think it is time to step away from his social scene. Also time to keep him in the dark about your own experiences. If he isn't mature enough to show you some respect, he doesn't deserve to know about your social encounters. Keep him guessing.

    Previous postings have given some great advice.

    Keep your chin up and look for avenues to broaden your general contact with other girls.

    And focus initially on seeing girls as friends to get them on board and really liking you. Someone said that women can hold 90% of the conversation and good point that was. A good listener is a powerful attraction. And once you get a girl laughing, well that often leads to some nice flirting!

    Good listening can be as simple as, "Wow that's amazing, tell me more about it......" - holding genuine eye contact.

    Once you are really at ease and confident in finding girls easy to get to know really t won't be long before you loose your virginity.

    And frankly you should not feel pressured into doing that quickly.
     
  13. equinox

    equinox New Member

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    Good advice in general, but I'm going to have to disagree with you on this one point. I've known too many poor chaps who get stuck as the "close friend", and the girl will never see them as anything more than that. You have to show romantic interest early on if that's your goal, in my opinion. A lot of girls, it seems, don't want to date friends for fear of damaging the friendship, so you don't want to get on the friendship boat if you're romantically interested in a girl. Too many nice guys think that if they just act really nice to a girl, she'll start finding them attractive, but unless you show that you're interested romantically through flirtation, you'll get filed as a close friend and have little chance at becoming anything more. There isn't anything wrong with being good friends with a girl, but it's not the proper path to garnering her romantic interest.

    Of course, the obligatory disclaimer; there are exceptions to every rule, and this is just what I've observed in general.
     
  14. Pride

    Pride New Member

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    Im going to be honest and blunt...not to be mean or anytihng so dont take it that way...

    You sound almost Anti-social...with how you speak of things. Which most girls are social people.

    Also talking on the phone and the computer a lot are BAD very BAD....becuz its not 'reality' its easy to be sum1 your not. or screw sumthing up. its much better to keep those convos fairly brief until you really have sumthing go person to person. thats from expirence

    also girls can be very confusing so dont try to understand them it makes it worse lol.

    you also seem to be too nice of a person i mean getting basically bullied by ur younger brother most girls tend to like at least a LITTLE bit of an edge to them or at the very least someone who will stick up for themselves. if you cant stick up for yourself then you have no pride/self confidence which is a turn off to women.

    and dont be afraid to put urself out there....i mean like partys, meeting new people, just having ufn in general go outside your comfort zone. you may find that its usually different or more fun than u had exspected just be open minded about it. if u choose not to get high or drink hell no1 really cares...they may offer but they wont pressure contrary to belife.

    and the freind zone sucks...but it depends on the girl most girls would much rather go out with you the day they meet you than 4 months down the road when ur good friends....it makes no damn sense as i like to get to know the person b4 i find out im wasting my time with them.




    err now if i could only take sum of my own advice at times
     
  15. Brad

    Brad New Member

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    Equinox

    Good points made in your disagreement with me.

    However, my point here was aimed at this specific individual and his specific current situation. The advice being to help develop his overall confidence generally with women first of all.

    And once that is a non issue, then as you say showing romantic interest early on will be much easier and delivered much more confidently and naturally. And I did mention flirting in my previous post as that is agreat thing to introduce early.
     
  16. equinox

    equinox New Member

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    Just a quick note -- antisocial is a term that refers to a specific psychological disorder, characterized by a milder form of psychopathy. An antisocial person views other people as objects to be manipulated for his or her personal gain, not as other people. These are the people who don't care whether or not their actions hurt other people. Avoidant Personality Disorder refers to the condition in which someone is extremely shy and uncomfortable in social situations.


    Ah, as an exercise to broaden social skills, making female friends will definitely help. I just felt I should offer a counterpoint in case your post were misconstrued as a course of action to get involved romantically with women.
     
  17. antmayne

    antmayne New Member

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    some knowledge

    man im gonna hit you with some knowledge, ok well if you just find a nice girl to talk to i recommend 18 or older, and get to know her, and learn to love her for who she is and you wont have a problem getting laid dude, trust me you will get a good woman and you will be gettin some almost every night ;)
     
  18. azgard

    azgard New Member

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    somthing interesteing happend today. ive been away from home working with my dad for a few days now im going to be here for a few more days but i went into the store here to get a drink and this very good looking girl was working. she was very nice and started talking to me asking how i was and stuff. and i tolder her about what i was doing. she told me about how she just started working there . i did talk with her for about 3 or 4 mins and i was getting really nervous but tried my best. then i went back later in the day she remembered me and said hey and asked how i was doing and stuff.

    But i really wish their were more girls like that back at home. i might stop back to the store tommrrow and see if shes working and say hello.
     
  19. Charlie_Luciano

    Charlie_Luciano New Member

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    if u really wanna lose your virginity go to a brothel, ive been loads of times, its easier than waiting for a girl to come along. Its better and you dont have to bother with foreplay or any of that bullshit , u can just get straight in their lol.
     
  20. 50pennies

    50pennies New Member

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    go kick your brothers ass

    and to Charlie, i would rather do the foreplay man....so much cheaper than going to some brothel....