The Area Code exception? - SexualForums.com

sinfinity · 11-08-09, 01:05PM

Lol, so I was hanging out with this guy yesterday. And things went a little too far.

But I'm going to be in this other part of the country for a few more weeks. I'm wondering if I should bring it up to my boyfriend or if I should just forget it ever happened.

I saw Roadtrip for ever ago. And they mentioned this rule.

Is there really an exception to the cheating thing if you're in a different area code?

suite91 · 11-08-09, 02:32PM

I think you know the answer already.

**Dreama** · 11-08-09, 02:34PM

I think you should tell him-

sinfinity · 11-08-09, 03:40PM

Okay, here's another part of it.

Why should I tell him when it's not going to hurt me at all, it's just going to hurt him?

It didn't mean shit to me. So why give him the grievance?

Still. This is an interesting question. Does it exist or NO?

**Cowboy Lover** · 11-08-09, 03:51PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sinfinity

I saw Roadtrip for ever ago. And they mentioned this rule.

Is there really an exception to the cheating thing if you're in a different area code?

It's not wise to take your code of moral conduct from a frat boy movie, IMHO.

You say it doesn't bother you one little bit, so why are you asking us about it? Are you sure it doesn't bother you just a little, perhaps?

sinfinity · 11-08-09, 04:04PM

Of course it bothers me. It just wasn't meaningful to me. There's a difference.

Here's the way I see it. When you cheat and you regret it, you should have to deal with that guilt as your punishment.

When you confess, you put that off on the other person. They're the one who ends up suffering the most, not you.

When I leave here, I'm never going to see that person again because they travel for work constantly. Not that I would even want to, anyway.

I know this to be true, because a friend of mine decided to tell her husband about her cheating on him a year after it happened when she was re-entering the church. Her pastor even told her NOT to tell her husband about the incident, but she did. They're still together, but he suffers constantly from depression. It wasn't to make him feel better at all. She told him so she could feel better about it.

**Cowboy Lover** · 11-08-09, 04:31PM

Apparently, her pastor didn't believe in John 8:32.

Sorry about confusing the part where you said it didn't mean anything to you and thinking it meant it didn't bother you.

**Dreama** · 11-08-09, 04:59PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sinfinity

Of course it bothers me. It just wasn't meaningful to me. There's a difference.

Here's the way I see it. When you cheat and you regret it, you should have to deal with that guilt as your punishment.

When you confess, you put that off on the other person. They're the one who ends up suffering the most, not you.

When I leave here, I'm never going to see that person again because they travel for work constantly. Not that I would even want to, anyway.

I know this to be true, because a friend of mine decided to tell her husband about her cheating on him a year after it happened when she was re-entering the church. Her pastor even told her NOT to tell her husband about the incident, but she did. They're still together, but he suffers constantly from depression. It wasn't to make him feel better at all. She told him so she could feel better about it.

I'm sorry, but this sounds like selfish excuses of a cheater. Sorry, but they do. There is a reason that relationships should be based on trust-Maybe you're not serious enough about being in the relationship. I mean, I don't care if you take my advice or not, but you've asked opinions and I'm giving mine.

sinfinity · 11-08-09, 05:20PM

I asked whether or not the rule existed. I didn't exactly ask for your opinion on cheating.

But I do agree with you - relationships should be based on trust. I've only been seeing my boyfriend for a for about a month, so that could have something to do with my lack of seriousness.

You didn't really give me advice either, you know. You just told me I was making selfish excuses.

**Dreama** · 11-08-09, 05:28PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sinfinity

I asked whether or not the rule existed. I didn't exactly ask for your opinion on cheating.

But I do agree with you - relationships should be based on trust. I've only been seeing my boyfriend for a for about a month, so that could have something to do with my lack of seriousness.

You didn't really give me advice either, you know. You just told me I was making selfish excuses.

If you read my earlier post, I did give you advice. It was to tell him. kthx

Oh, and for the record, that does NOT exist. Have fun!

sinfinity · 11-08-09, 05:33PM

Meow.

PassionateMale · 11-08-09, 06:19PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cowboy Lover

It's not wise to take your code of moral conduct from a frat boy movie, IMHO.

Definitely wasn't a frat boy movie. The guys involved were not in a fraternity, but that is besides the point.

Of coarse its cheating.

**Cowboy Lover** · 11-08-09, 06:21PM

This, I know. I was trying to think about what the most accurate term for the genre would be, so, I made that one up.

**HardRocker** · 11-08-09, 07:00PM

I may have yo lobby my congressman to propose a new bill. The area code bill.

**Cowboy Lover** · 11-08-09, 07:02PM

I'm sure 80% of the politicians the bill is presented to will vote "Yeah. "Yeah, baby, yeah!" for it. It's the mother of all loopsholes for cheaters.

Bill Clinton's going to give himself a "Coulda had a V-8" slap on the forehead when he hears about it and realizes he should have thought of it first.

**HardRocker** · 11-08-09, 07:06PM

........

Old Hippie · 11-08-09, 08:44PM

Hi,
I have been in a monotonous (whoops I mean monogamous) relationship for 38 years with a little swinging in the first year or so. It made me realize that I didn't have the right kind of constitution for it. Why I bring this up is because I consider some of the decisions I made mistakes; like steering my wife into my desires when in actuality I didn't enjoy her doing it with another man. That's my backround, mostly monogamous.
So anyway, I think if your relationship is only a month old you should do what you feel you want to do. I see your point of view clearly and understand after inflicting wounds upon myself with bad judgement. Your right your guy will hate it. You are still young and could have made a mistake. If you don't want to tell him don't.
Other than that I agree with the others about trust. If this is a one time lesson so be it. If you do it again then you are going to cause real problems for you and your partner.
O.H.

Dragon_Fire · 11-08-09, 08:56PM

I think that if you can't stay faithful for a month, you're in the wrong relationship in the first place.

justthegirl · 11-08-09, 09:05PM

did anyone else notice that the first thing she typed was "Lol"?? that should show how serious she really is i guess.

if you even care about the person you're dating, then cheating is NEVER an option. i cant believe you seriously asked if there is an "area code rule" geez.

Northside · 11-08-09, 09:43PM

Sweetheart you are right about it will hurt him not you. You don't seem to even be sorry for what you did, it's a joke to you! Now I can appreciate the humor in the area code remark, but it loses something when your boyfriend is the butt of that joke. My advice: don't tell him, do him a real favor and break up with him before you hurt him again and again. If you made a mistake and were truly sorry for what you did, I'd say try to make it up to him and move on. You ain't sorry, it's a joke to you. Are you trying to find somebody to help you rationalize your actions here? Good luck. I don't know the guy but he deserves better than you can give at this point in your life. Set him free and give him a chance to find some one who cares about him. You don't.

Logger · 11-08-09, 10:23PM

Sinfinity,

There is a philadering forum, and they recommend a 50 mile rule. This is basic consideration to your SO, Significant Other. If you are seen by the friends and relatives of your SO, with another man, then this wil result in embarrassment, for your SO.

Families have secrets. If you have done something bad, it often makes things smoother, if you keep it secret. Family Honor may mean keeping family secrets.

Marriage Builders has the concept of Radical Honesty. That means telling your SO everything, honorable or dishonorable. I try to apply Radical Honesty to my marriage, by avoiding doing anything that I will hesitate to discuss with my wife.

Now you have had the experience of allowing a situation to go too far, and you have a dilemna. So there might be a lesson here, so that you can see something coming next time.

I personally avoid telling other women comlaints about my wife. I may post annonymously on Forums about my complaints, but I find that if I cmplain to other women, this gives them the idea that I may break up withmy wife, or divorce, and then it is morally OK for more intimacy, than if I was married, and not complaining.

How did the out-of-Area-Code guy come on to you? What could you have done to cut the situation off sooner, before intimacy started? What could you have said th first time he went to kiss you?

..

sinfinity · 11-08-09, 10:25PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Logger

How did the out-of-Area-Code guy come on to you? What could you have done to cut the situation off sooner, before intimacy started? What could you have said th first time he went to kiss you?

This town is really small. I went to a bar called Hazey's with my aunt and uncle and ended up shooting pool with some of their friends. The guy was a friend of my aunt and uncle's, one of my aunt's coworkers. He knew a lot of Douglas Adams trivia, so that of course made his company enjoyable to me, and when my aunt and uncle left, I stayed and continued talking to him. You have to understand that I hadn't been around people my age since I left Texas for Washington... actually way before that, since for the week before I left I was alone in my house packing.

I probably could have mentioned my boyfriend. Could have left with my aunt and uncle. But I didn't. So I suck. Yes. That's right people, I am a fucking horrible person.

------------------------

Northside, what the hell? Really. Your words hurt me.

OF COURSE I'm sorry about it. I didn't type Lol because it was a joke. It was an embarrased, I made a mistake notation. People say Lol frequently. It doesn't mean they're laughing; people respond to different situations differently.

If you honestly thing I should tell him about it, then I will. Because I do care for him. Lol. - See? There it is again. A self-depreciating laugh.

Our relationship is new. We don't live that close to each other when I'm home anyway - but we try to make time for each other. The last time we had sex was the first night we got together. Since then it's been a few dates, some get togethers with my parents - but we've both been really busy and now we're over a thousand miles away from eachother.

How dare you say I'm not sorry? I'm trying to find ways NOT to hurt him and still be with him.

I've been here two weeks. I'm going to be here three more. I couldn't get ahold of him that night. I was a little drunk. And the guy was coming onto me pretty hard. Yes, I'm making excuses for myself -but at least I'm not lying. That was the situation.

You're such a cunt, Northside. I'm sorry, but you are. All the same, I appreciate your honesty. Obviously you're a very passionate person. In this case though, you were pretty out of line. There's no way you can discern from a few posts how I feel about him, or how I feel about the situation. So stfu, kindly.

ALSO: In case you're wondering? No, I did not have sex with someone who isn't my boyfriend. It was a few kisses. Lol. - THERE IT IS AGAIN.

sinfinity · 11-08-09, 10:53PM

Can one of you just lock this god damn thread please.

Squirt · 11-08-09, 11:10PM

Sinfinity, I have a question. When you first registered/posted to this site, you make a comment of Nomad88 being your girlfriend. So is your boyfriend aware of your girlfriend and vise versa? Unless your boyfriend is open and aware of that situation, I would be more concerned about that.

As far as this situation goes, it is up to you if you want to tell him. Just know that it is a make or break deal, because if it is many years down the road and he finds out, you're definitely done with. You either come clean in the beginning and try to work it out. Or you hide it till the truth comes out and it bites you in the ass.

Your choice, you start with a honest and truthful relationship or you start it with absolutely nothing.

sinfinity · 11-08-09, 11:13PM

Nomad is one of my best friends, not my girlfriend. Lol. Girlfriend as in good bud? Silly silly.