Feelings w touch

im continuing feeling how i respond to touch and growing my awareness. I think this work im doing is quite deep and touches on other areas as well. In short im really trying to feel what my inside says to touch and if its too much i step back and do a lighter form.
Im experimenting a bit on the go bu kind of trying to build a ladder from light to more strong touch. Right now it would seem like this:

Touch Repertoire

1. hand holding
2. leaning on my gf/her leaning on me - relaxing on the other
3. holding my gf
4. holding my gf standing close
5. soft brushing
6. playful touching - drawing on each othe etc.
7. massage
8. just being naked together
9. sensual touching
10. genital touching
11. genital stimulation
12. hand job either way
13. blow job
14. intercoure with no high stimulation aim
15. slow tantric intercourse, sensation over arousal
16. Intercourse
17. quickie
18. harder intercourse
19. Dominance, roughness
20. pain/fetish
21. abuse

the list is far from complete. just trying to get perspective on things.


yesterday i was a bit surprised to feel very bad when we were in bed together just holding eachother. i was definitely on the bad side of things and escalated before i really wanted to.... a bit Weird to experience. But my awareness of myself is growing which is the key.