Never a "normal" sex life?

Also try to talk with a PHARMISIST before you speak with your doctor. The Pharmy is better versed on meds than most, if not all docs. He won't reccomend any meds, but he can educate you enough to ask the right questions of your doctor. Good luck.

I had seen a show where the wife experienced pain during sex. I think what she had was something other than the condition already listed, although I cant remember what it was called, so there could be a medical reason. Good luck & keep up the counseling.

yeah i saw that show too it was on one of those educational channels like TLC. i think it was called strange sex or something. The wife did a surgery and all was well after

Glad to hear counseling went well, just be honest when there and remind your wife that you love her and are willing to work thru all of this and reassure her that your suggestion of another woman was for both of you as a couple, not just for you (if this is the case...) And for goodness sake let her bring up that topic from here on out - not you...another option is to browse the internet together - ie: porn, forum sites, "dating" sites or even suggest that she get her own log in on here and let her ask questions - post her thoughts to others but let her keep it to herself unless you are sharing this post with her.....Good luck and I hope to hear more good things!

PS - the surgery thing is for the outer rim of the vagina, my doctor had mentioned this to me as well, so long ago that I forget the terminology - vulvanitis - I will try to research....Also have her check for UTI and bladder infections!

I was definitely hoping (originally) that another woman could teach her a thing or two, maybe she would be better at giving her orgasms, but that option seems to be completely out. Was it still mostly for myself? well, in a way, because I am the only one who cares about sex in our relationship. She cares about the relationship, but not the sex. She doesn't feel she misses out on anything by not having sex. It could be because of the pain, but it could also be the other way round (lack of interest leading to pain during intercourse). Trying to introduce another woman may have been a stupid idea on my part perhaps, but it triggered her decision to actually try to do something about our problem (mentioning the words "call girl" about a hundred times did not). I am not going to mention any other women from now on unless my wife or the therapist wants to talk about it.
I have shown her this site, and she even helped with one of my responses to one thread, but I still feel I may have vented a bit too much about my frustrations here for my comfort. I have told her about most of it, but still...She may create a username here if she wants of course, but I doubt that she will. Sex doesn't interest her enough to keep checking this site.We'll see...

And sometimes you don't realise how good your sex life was... until you try it elsewhere.. grass isn't always greener.

You're on my heart just like a tattoo

I hope you and your wife get through this Trond. It's sounds like you really love and respect her. *hugs*

You're on my heart just like a tattoo

Volk: Well, the thing is, these are sexual forums, and yes, I am sexually frustrated with my wife, so I use the forums to "vent" a bit. I suppose I rarely talk about the good sides (because they are not the problem). For instance, the therapist pointed out some positive things in our relationship:
-we touch each other (non-sexually) more than most couples with problems
-we actually communicate better than most couples with problems
-We also have a similar sense of humor, we both love animals etc.

I could find a woman who better fits me sexually perhaps, but I have a feeling we would get on each other's nerves in other ways. Some people seem to think that "there is a whole world of women to choose from out there". I don't know about their experiences, but I suspect that they are either sexual omnivores (they would take anything with a pussy) or they are regular "Don Juans". I am neither. I don't really trust my own abilities to find anybody "better", and even if I did, leaving my wife would be extremely hard.

I admit that our wedding was extremely hurried though. She was my first steady partner, and she was about to be deported from the country. NOT getting married was simply not an option for me.

Untamed: Thank you very much! About the "grass is greener" thing: I know of several things about myself that would have triggered a bad reaction in many/most other women. For instance, I am not sure if I could handle the jealousy that many women feel. When we first met, my wife would tease and make fun of me for the way I looked at women, read Playboy, and went to strip clubs. She thought it was a strange combo with my generally "un-aggressive" looks, nerdy interests, and polite manners. I guess I'm a very strange package.

I found when I was dating my now wife that she was pretty average at sex, but that was to be expected given she'd never, ever had sex before. Unfortunately after we got married, the sex didn't really get much better! Pre-marriage sex may not be a barometer of what's to come, and it's not being blinded by love either. You have to be realistic about relative sexual experience. But when it does become a problem is when one partner doesn't try to meet the other part-way, and that causes major frustration bordering on a desire to find someone else (and I disagree about the grass not being greener, because readin the thread that sex with someone else WILL most certainly be better).