Women Who Have Had Kids I Need Some Advice

Really, I'm dittoing what everyone said again - it's totally normal! The vagina is an amazing part of a woman's reproductive organs, and it's designed to stretch to accommodate a baby and then go right back into it's previous shape. She pushed a baby out of it, so it had to stretch to a large enough diameter to fit. It's going to take some time for things to shrink again, but it will. A few weeks isn't much to worry about - it can take more than 2 months for things to fully recover. As far as the episiotomy goes, that should be stitched or sutured up and healing already.

Trust me, I didn't want to look but she was pretty concerned so I did. Wasn't the best moment of my life, but I did it out of love for my wife. I was hoping not to see anything until she was healed, you know?

I assumed the hole/gape was there because she is still dilated, and wasn't from the cut.

It seems quite obvious but I am not one who pretends to know things and would rather get help from people who know more than me.

Thx for the help everyone... we have talked to people we know who have had kids and they assured us that it has nothing to do with the episiotomy and is natural for any woman who just gave birth.

I just wanted to get as many perspectives as possible on it, thus my post here.

Be sure to tell her what a trooper she is. Yes, she's worried, but look what she's brought into the world. She deserves a medal.

Sounds like you're being patient (which is a very good thing). But I recommend going one step further: try building her up by praising her and thanking her, not merely allaying her fears.

She's done great, and she'll be fine!

Congrats on the new kiddo!

Oh yeah. Andretti is right. Congrats!!!!!!!

Thx

I'm already on top of most of the stuff you mentioned... thanked her on several occasions and got her an ice cream cake (her favorite thing in the world) that said "Great Job Mommy!" Love - Me

Also let her know how sexy she looks, etc.

As far as the patience thing, no sex since Sept because she had a low lying cervix and I swore off porn so it has been just a tad rough, but I'm sort of used to things now.

You learn to adapt.

So if it takes until May or June or whatever, I'll give her all the time she needs.

I'm so damn tired all the time anyway staying up with the baby that I doubt I could get it up anyway... or at least long enough for it to be any fun.

She will be ok just need time to heal.. nothing go back to normal fast but she will with time.

I had a cesarean my child was breech ..i had not much choice the contractions were very close .. was an emergency and glad they put me to sleep

anyway everyone gave some nice advise so not much i can add

It sounds like you're a sweetie and a keeper. Enjoy that lovely baby - what wonderful times - they go fast - treasure every sleepless moment :-)