not a good sex life...

I have been with my gf for 3.5 years now, and our sex life isn't great... I am willing to do anything for her but her not the same. We no longer have sex we just do "stuff" and that is she gives me a hand job. She always likes to rush through to. There is no kissing to get started it's just as fast as it can get done. She doesnt have sex anymore because she says it now hurts when it didnt before, she won't go down on me because its "gross" and she gets irritated if I want to do something out of the ordinary. However she expects me to go down on her every single time we do things which I dont mind but it would be nice to get a little more the a handjob but she refuses... what do you guys think?

Time for a new girlfriend I'd say......

I say,Oh HELL NO...you go down on her every single time and you can't get a blow job out of her?? That's seriously unfair.I would never expect my husband to do that to me without getting the same in return.
Tell her to put out or get out (just kidding,but seriously!! tell her you aren't doing it for her anymore unless she stops being so selfish!)

I have to agree with DarkJewel this should be a crime to humanity!

how do you ladies feel about dudes who leave break up with their partner because of the lack of sex? dont mean to hijack your thread or anything, but im in a similar situation. been with the the gf for 5 years. everything but the sex is great. i just feel like a complete douche thinking about breaking up because of that.

You're not a douche,you're just human...If someone broke up with me because of lack of sex,well,I couldn't really blame them

Not much more to say than ++ here. In general, any issue that causes enough friction as to make you really unhappy is cause to break up over if the partner is not willing to address and change that issue.

3.5 years is a long time. There must be some bond between you that is worth working on. Sounds liike you need to talk. Are there other issues in your relationship that are not working for her? Do you love her? If not why are you with her? If you do love her then you should try to work out your differences. If sex hurts she should talk to a doctor.

If she's living with you, you should insist on her paying rent and for half of the necessities.
Also, do not share sleeping arrangements with her because you will need that to be available for you new GF.

Sex and intamacy is as important as every other aspect of the relationship. I have no idea how you could stay in this relationship.