what makes a girl good in bed?

HardRocker · 09-22-10

Quote:

Originally Posted by gman

I would suggest the Sinclair Intimacy institute's videos. They are tastefully done and talk frankly about all aspects of sex and techniques in bed. Sure it's porn, but its not so much acting and over the top performances. Loving couples showin' you how. You can do a google search. I wish I could have had these when I was 20.
Good luck

You have mentioned this in several posts. I'm assuming you are impressed with the product and not affiliated with Sinclair in any way, am I correct?
Just thought I should ask, Gman. Can't be too sure these days you know.
Carry on with the fun...

pinksunflower · 09-22-10

Quote:

Originally Posted by HardRocker

A lot of the positions you want to try are designed for the camera angles and are not at all comfortable. Also, not many couples go as long as the ones in videos because sexual passion just doesn't always last that long. The mechanics of sex are only a small part of the satisfying part. It should be all about being into each other as opposed to doing things to each other.

do you mean the positions I said I wanted to try?

idk about the porn you watch- but my current bf lasts a good 25minutes at least. when we had sex one time and he said he was disappointed he only lasted 15 minutes that felt like a really long time for me..

so is having sex in different places overrated? I just feel like just sticking to the bed is boring (particularly as we only have singles at uni)

pinksunflower · 09-22-10

Quote:

Originally Posted by Meee

So far, all we're hearing about is dick. Do you ever get oral sex or sex with his hands?

he offered to do oral once but there was a bit of blood there from spotting so he didn't end up doing it. the reason he hasn't done it is probably because its taken me up to now to want it- before that I felt too self-conscious

when boys finger me I often feel like they do it way to hard and I don't really see the point in fingering or handjobs- I mean, we can do that to ourselves...and I can't imagine how a boy could finger a girl as well as she does it to herself... even my gay guy friend said handjobs were never as good as when he did it to himself.

pinksunflower · 09-22-10

Quote:

Originally Posted by Michellesoldman

I'd like to add something......LUBE! Lots and lots of LUBE. That will cure your dryness I promise.

Personally, I like the silicone based lubes the best, even though they are more expensive. The silicone lubes just don't ever dry out. They wash off easy enough with soap and water. And they don't get sticky and gummy like the cheap water-based lubes do.

One other small piece of advice to offer----tell him that at least once, you want him to go really slow and MAKE LOVE to you. Maybe the "hard and fast" sex isn't something your body is quite ready for. Or maybe you just can't handle hard sex with this guy....? Try slow and easy just once and see if it helps. Don't forget the lube...lol.

I have actually bought lube to have just in case, but I just don't want to become dependent on that for sex..

thing is with sex though- I don't want him to 'make love' to me- I'm not a romantic person- I mean, I am starting to think the problem is that he's no emotionally into me- I really like this guy, but I don't know if he really likes me..and I don't feel like he wants me in that way.... but all the guys I've ever been with who are really into *me*- I very quickly get sick of- I had guys being all over me or being really full on or not leaving me a lone after we have sex and wanting to endlessly kiss me or hold me- the thing I really like about this guy is that he's not like that- he gives me my space..

It turns me on a lot more doing it more like they do in porn- the thought of hard, rough, fast sex turns me on so much more- is there a way I can build up to that?

pinksunflower · 09-22-10

Quote:

Originally Posted by htoad

Perhaps you are not being patient enough. That might be a side affect of the porn - you see that and your (or perhaps your partners) expectation are set at that level. But that is not a real relationship, that is just entertainment, and embodies the same things to make it entertaining as stunt people in movies.

Do you try to be "perfect" or "good" - try to have fun. Perhaps you cannot due to your partner - what are their sexual expectations of you? Are you trying to meet those first, before trying to relax? Are sexual "mistakes" laughed at and used as a learning tool, or taken too seriously and thus increase the stress?

Or, do you know your sexual partner outside of the sexual encounters enough to relax, enjoy, and learn?

In my view, it is less about the "mechanics" and more about the "attitude". I am certainly not an expert in this area, but from your post it seems that the mechanics will not improve until your attitude can. And your attitude might be being shaped more by what is going on outside of the sexual realm.

ok well- ideally I would like to be able to get right into sex- and that's the main advantage for me if I'm drunk- I don't really need foreplay because I'm already ridiculously horny.

its definitely a problem that he's a) more experienced/confident than may and b) sex comes so naturally to him- he has no inhibitions, he lost his virginity early... and there's definitely a gap- I've had sex with 7 guys including him but most of those were one night stands.. so I feel as if effectively he's the first... my upbringing was fairly conservative and I think my parents would be very shocked to know I was having sex at all, and anything vaguely sex related mixing with my family/parents is very uncomfortable...

and he also does take himself too seriously- I think the reason it took him so long to convince me to sleep with him is that he doesn't know how to really make me relax. when I tried asking him to take it slow with me to give me more time to get wet, it ended up being over 30 minutes and nothing was happening and he actually got out of bed and asked me how many times I'd had sex- as if he was expecting me to admit I was a virgin..

and as far as 'outside the sexual realm' is concerned- he doesn't want to actually be in a relationship with me- and he's very closed off from me and don't want to have any conversations about issues we have with eachother, and I never know if he still wants to be with me or if he's already got other girls in his life he could be seeing... but I mean, we were only together properly about 3 weeks before summer- so it might get better.

bottom line is- I want to carry on having sex with him because I enjoy it more the more I do it- and its really unusual for me to find someone I'm this into- especially in terms of sexual attraction.

I need to see how it goes when we see eachother again, but I want to know if I can get sex tips as well, becuase I know this is a really common thing in girls (especially young inexperienced ones) that we don't know what to do and don't know what we want- and I feel like I've already come a long way with this guy- I already feel massively more sexually confident and I'm way more into sex.

Fliteskates · 09-22-10

Quote:

Originally Posted by pinksunflower

ok well- ideally I would like to be able to get right into sex- and that's the main advantage for me if I'm drunk- I don't really need foreplay because I'm already ridiculously horny.

its definitely a problem that he's a) more experienced/confident than may and b) sex comes so naturally to him- he has no inhibitions, he lost his virginity early... and there's definitely a gap- I've had sex with 7 guys including him but most of those were one night stands.. so I feel as if effectively he's the first... my upbringing was fairly conservative and I think my parents would be very shocked to know I was having sex at all, and anything vaguely sex related mixing with my family/parents is very uncomfortable...

and he also does take himself too seriously- I think the reason it took him so long to convince me to sleep with him is that he doesn't know how to really make me relax. when I tried asking him to take it slow with me to give me more time to get wet, it ended up being over 30 minutes and nothing was happening and he actually got out of bed and asked me how many times I'd had sex- as if he was expecting me to admit I was a virgin..

and as far as 'outside the sexual realm' is concerned- he doesn't want to actually be in a relationship with me- and he's very closed off from me and don't want to have any conversations about issues we have with eachother, and I never know if he still wants to be with me or if he's already got other girls in his life he could be seeing... but I mean, we were only together properly about 3 weeks before summer- so it might get better.

bottom line is- I want to carry on having sex with him because I enjoy it more the more I do it- and its really unusual for me to find someone I'm this into- especially in terms of sexual attraction.

I need to see how it goes when we see eachother again, but I want to know if I can get sex tips as well, becuase I know this is a really common thing in girls (especially young inexperienced ones) that we don't know what to do and don't know what we want- and I feel like I've already come a long way with this guy- I already feel massively more sexually confident and I'm way more into sex.

You asked what makes a girl good in bed?

Enthusiasm
Enthusiasm
Enthusiasm

Um.. and enthusiasm. It doesn't really matter if she is particularly good at any one thing, its just the fact that she is into it, that turns me on.

I think most guys will agree that what they want in any woman sexually is these three things...

1. Enthusiasm (there it is again)
2. Willingness to try new things
3. Being aggressive

Nothing is a bigger turn on than a a girl who is having a good time in bed. It is the most powerful aphrodisiac I can think of.

disneydad · 09-22-10

Talking and listening during sex is the best way to be good at it. "Does this feel good?" Pay attention. If he moves your hand to a certain spot stay there and remember it for the next time.

HardRocker · 09-22-10

Hey, Pinksunflower, just a quick diversion here; check this thread out, it can save you a bunch of trouble and forum space when you want to quote a bunch of people:
How to use Multi-Quote

The icons have changed, but it still works the same.

Michellesoldman · 09-23-10

Quote:

Originally Posted by pinksunflower

I have actually bought lube to have just in case, but I just don't want to become dependent on that for sex..

thing is with sex though- I don't want him to 'make love' to me- I'm not a romantic person- I mean, I am starting to think the problem is that he's no emotionally into me- I really like this guy, but I don't know if he really likes me..and I don't feel like he wants me in that way.... but all the guys I've ever been with who are really into *me*- I very quickly get sick of- I had guys being all over me or being really full on or not leaving me a lone after we have sex and wanting to endlessly kiss me or hold me- the thing I really like about this guy is that he's not like that- he gives me my space..

It turns me on a lot more doing it more like they do in porn- the thought of hard, rough, fast sex turns me on so much more- is there a way I can build up to that?

Yes there certainly is, but ya have to "work up to it" in the same session in my opinion. Get him to work your thighs with light rubs of his fingers and light kisses and licks. He needs to stay there for a minute or two before slowly working his way over to your labia. Your clit is the LAST thing he should work with. If he's any good with his tongue, you'll be hella-wet in five minutes or less. If your not, then your definitely a person that stays "on the dry side". Anyhow, once he's worked your clit for a few minutes, he should penetrate you slowly. Then (again, slooowly) work up to the speed and roughness that you like.

This should ideally do two things:
1. It should peak your arousal at a much higher level than your used to.
2. This method should also ensure that you have adequate vaginal moisture so that you feel as much pleasure as possible without the discomfort that "dry sex" brings.

Just my opinions......that's all.

SteveWaste · 09-23-10

I did this once. Find a porno that you really like. Then show it to your boyfriend and tell him that you want to watch it together while you act it out in real time.

If he says no, I'll buy you a beer.

~Steve

what makes a girl good in bed?

Originally Posted by gman I would suggest the Sinclair Intimacy institute's videos. They are tastefully done and talk frankly about all aspects of sex and techniques in bed. Sure it's porn, but its not so