I have a woman friend who's my age, and who's husband had an affair which she eventually found out about. He admitted it lasted 10 years, but she thinks it was longer than that. She is an attractive and sensual woman, and if there's one problem it's that they married too young, both 19 and first loves. She didn't want to leave him, but developed anxieties about her own sexiness and desirability. They are together still, and the only problem she's having is that their sexual frequency has declined to about once per week and she would like it more often. But she told me about spending two hours when they do, and I thought that they've got quality.
Through her story I discovered that about 40% of married women have affairs, and about 60% of married men, and about 80% of marriages. Most marriages survive, except those which were failing, and probably the failing relationship brought about the affair. Affairs are exciting, invigorating and uplifting, and in most cases they also supercharge the home sex life: the person having the affair will be more sexually attracted to their wife or husband than would otherwise be the case.
Most who have affairs keep them secret, in my friend's example for probably 17 years.
Back to the OP, and I understand the comment about the excitement and drama, and the wife in this instance is being very honest. Affairs are exciting and invigorating and more.
Some men do get a turn-on that other men find their wives attractive and sexy, which is a comment the OP has made, but I wouldn't recommend that this fetish be used as a cornerstone for the future direction of the relationship. I think that fetishes are fetishes.
But I do think the idea of open is a good one though, because it promotes honesty. As far as trust goes, the wife here represents half of us: half of our friends, family, work colleagues and so on. How many married adults do we know? How many have had secret affairs? Imagine half of them, and that's surprising, is it not?
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