| trouble with female friend
Hi I have never asked for relationship advice online but this one is tricky and i feel like a dick for dealing with it the way i did so i thought id ask for some help........ a few years back a friend set me up with this girl, lets call her dana. we were partying and we ended up having sex which was fun but it was not meant to be anything more than that and we were both ok with it. anyways i ran into her a couple years ago and we started hanging out again a couple times a year (she lives in another city) and have slept together a few times but its always when we are very drunk and i have trouble cumming because the sex isnt that great and i just dont find her very attractive. shes not an ugly girl but shes just not my type... Last time i went to visit her i tried to make it clear before i went that even though i would be staying with her i didnt want any sort of commitment because i know she is interested in that from me and i just wanted to be her friend, she said that it was fine and if we wanted to continue the friends with benefits thing we could but i was a little worried about it, we slept together the first night i was there (again drunk) mainly because she wanted to so badly but after i realized i just didnt have those feelings for her anymore. so we had a bit of a talk the next day and i said we should maybe slow things down a bit in the sex department because i didnt know what i wanted. anyways as it turned out i had a thing for one of her friends, lets call her michelle. we fooled around the next night after dana said she was ok with it and it was great but then dana got mad at me because i was interested in one of her friends and was paying less attention to her. . i wanted to tell her the truth about how i felt, i REALLY like her maybe even love her but as a friend only and didnt want her to be hurt and lose her as such but since that night shes barely talked to me and seems really cold when she does. honestly i have no clue how to deal with this. i cant keep sleeping with someone im not sexually attracted to just because i dont want to lose them as a friend, but at the same time by telling her i just wanted to be friends then her seeing me with another girl has totally ruined our friendship. what should i do?
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I think it would be best to step away from both of them for a while, and try to resist those drunken sexual urges. Maybe after a while you can develop some suitable common ground with each of them. But don't count on ever having a stable sex-love-friend triangle.
