think Lucky is right: some have the right attitude and approach and some don't. For both sexes, confidence is key. If you're confident, then you will effortlessly move from vanilla sex to something more exciting. My wife was a bit like CLs husband, and it was never natural or seamless. To improve that we worked both on what she could do, but more about providing a lot of really positive feedback to her. For example, the more praise she got with her oral sex to me, the better she got, until she is very, very good at it. Especially good given I'm a challenge. In any case, that's what worked for us, positive feedback and positive affirmation (I really love it when you lick the underside just so, rather than a set of instructions). And then, when she follows the hint, you moan lightly and tell her how good that feels, and how great she is! That's when the pieces should start to fit together.