Making Sex a Better Experience

So I was in realtionship with a girl for nearly 3 years we started going out when we were 15 we started experimenting sexually after only 2 weeks but didnt have intercourse until we had been together for nearly a year. Unfortunatly 6 months ago we broke up, we had just started taking each other for granted and stuff but we never really stopped loving each other and have just got back together.

The only thing I am concerned about is having sex again with her I remember I was always a bit on edge when it came to having sex. It was always 50/50 as to wether or not it would hurt her and if it did even a tiny bit no matter how hard I tryed to tell her it didnt matter and we could just just do other stuff for a while, basically no matter how hard I tryed to calm her she would always get really frustarted with herself and upset and things would just go down hill from there. I think this was partly because she was always very insecure and lack confidence, she has got far far more confident in herself and stuff though in the past 6 months.

We would always do lots of experimenting with sexual activities when it wasnt intercourse and do very kinky and exciting stuff. When it came to intercourse though it was always her below and me on top. Once again when trying new things she never really seemed to be willing to try very hard and again just got angry with herself for whatever reason.

My final question is about orgasms, she would almost always climax really quickly once I was inside of her and then normally once she had climaxed it would begin to hurt.

I mean when we did have sex and none of the above happened it was amazing and we had a great time. It was always just a 50/50 gamble as to wether or not it would end up with her angry and upset which I used to hate because I done nothing but comfort her.

A few additional details, neither of us have had sexual relations while we were apart. Also I am circumcised, maybe this has something to do with it hurting for her sometimes?

Anyway does anyone have any advice on how to prevent things go badly?

It's hard to tell you what to do without knowing exactly how she feels. When I was her age I didn't have enough self confidence to have frank discussions about sex with my partners. I really wish I did, because it would have avoided a lot of frustration and confusion on both my part and their's.

Are you two having an issue with dryness? Is she having at least one orgasm before you attempt intercourse? Has she seen a gynocologist about the pain?

Need more details, please.

Oh, and maybe it would help if she got a membership here and could ask questions as well. It's really hard to give advice to someone when there's someone in between passing the messages, ya know?

Barbwire a.k.a. Cowboy Lover

Yeah we we're extremely open, she was probably even more open than me she would tell me everythiiiing. I think she got so upset and angry when it hurt because she always said it made her feel stupid and like she 'didnt work properly'.

No we never had an issue with dryness although the extra thin condoms and using additional lube did help. We did read that when somebody is circumcised that there head can rub a little uncomfortably when inside, I think this is probably the reason. I should mention that the hurting was becoming more uncommon, this must have been here vagina slowly loosening up. The pain was never that bad for her so no she hasnt seen a gynocologist, the pain was only ever very slight but it was her getting upset and angry that killed the mood and caused the problems.

Sometimes she does orgasm before intercourse but I was kind of under the impression that just like a guy after a orgasm the feelings of lust go? Or should I be making her orgasm getting her aroused again then going for intercourse.

I think it would be a pretty bad idea to tell her I am asking around internet forums for advice, Im sure the wouldnt great for her self esteem. For all I know she could already be on forums or getting advice herself.

Ok, one thing I can address is, women are NOTHING like men when it comes to how they feel after they orgasm. After having an orgasm, a lot of women just want more.

Also, I've had a lot of mature men tell me that they know the sex will be fantastic if they get the woman to orgasm once or more before they penetrate.

I suggest you get her off before you mount up and ride and if you got the skills, do it more than once. I bet that will make a huge difference in your sex lives.

Oh, and don't believe that guff about a circumcised penis head feeling different than a circumcised penis head when it's inside a woman. I've been with both kinds and can attest there is no difference. Not only that, but I've never head it mentioned here or read it anywhere else. Sounds like just another sexual myth.

Barbwire a.k.a. Cowboy Lover

Now I am going to go out on a limb here and disagree with Cowboy Lover about women's orgasms. Okay, I know she is a Sex Godess here and we all love her and respect her knowledge and wisdom. Me, I'm just a fumbling dude who get's lucky occasionally. Her suggestions are right on.

That said, all women are different. They respond differently to all kinds of stimulation. Even the same woman will sometimes react differently in the same situation. Some women want more after they orgasm, a lot more. Others are content and want to sleep like guys do. You have to feel it out and communicate as to her desires. My current girlfriend is multi orgasmic and last weekend after I brought her off several times she asked me to stop. She'd had enough. I hadn't finished yet and she just wanted to cuddle and go to sleep. That never happened before and I hope never again, but I didn't whine, she'll make it up to me. Love ya CL, I know you said "A LOT of women just want more", not all, but you girls are all different and unpredictable as hell. That's the ONLY thing I know about women.

I've got to agree here. If I've had a really intense orgasm, my body is numb from exhaustion and I'm useless for anything else. However if I've had a milder orgasm, I can go and go and go....

[QUOTE=Northside;250300]Now I am going to go out on a limb here and disagree with Cowboy Lover about women's orgasms. Okay, I know she is a Sex Godess here and we all love her and respect her knowledge and wisdom. Me, I'm just a fumbling dude who get's lucky occasionally. Her suggestions are right on.
QUOTE]

It's a darned good thing you groveled a bit after you dared to disagree with me, Northside. I was ready to lace up the steel toes and come looking for your beloved testes. Har! Har! Har!

No, really man, that's cool, I see your point. I should have chosen a different way to get my point across. I'm no fan of blanket statements, so let me say this.

OK, so this is what we know of OXy's girl. She's a teenager, with her first real boyfriend. She lost her virginity to him at the age of 16. She never knows if sex will hurt her. She is upset about this "problem" and hates herself for it. She has communicated with her boyfriend her pain and frustration.

She's a bit emotional and inexperienced. This is making her tense. and frustrated. It's impossible to enjoy sex if you are tense and afraid.Seems to me that what that girl needs is a nice relaxing orgasm or two before she's penetrated.

A relaxed pussy is a receptive pussy, I've always found.

Yeah, I've had orgasms so powerful they about knock me out. I've also had the mild ones where I go for more and more until I have one so huge I swear it's goind to kill me.

I still think that Oxy's girl needs one warm up orgasm before penetration is attempted.

Barbwire a.k.a. Cowboy Lover

I totally agree his girl needs to relax, and I told him to listen to your suggestions. I didn't "grovel" exactly, I just felt a little uncomfortable disagreeing with someone as knowledgable as you about female orgasms. Besides no one in his right mind wants to piss off a chick with steel toed cowboy boots, horse whips, and spurs! Love ya CL, honest, put down the whip, please!