Godiva, I think you are doing about all you can. You're really pushing it by having genital contact, because only one quick moment of weakness is all it would take. As horny as you are, it would probably slip right in before you realized what you had done. Pulling back then may very well make your heads explode.
Maybe try to step back a bit with that contact, and just keep rubbing it. That's the trouble with sex; we are hardwired to crave reproductive actions.
If you do continue with penis-vagina touching, be sure he wears a condom. You can use a female condom for yourself. That may be even better because they seem to be a real turnoff. That's why you don't hear much about women using them.
My recommendation is to go no further than mutual masturbation. And I think I understood you to say you were giving each other oral sex,
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...i make him orgasm with my hand, body or mouth... and he tries the same...
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so that is a huge help.