Quote:
Originally Posted by tammyt  kay,
so i need to know, was I being totally unreasonable and if it is so easy for him to do this behind my back when it was so simple and so important to me, does this mean he will always do this with anything he thinks will bother me even important stuff? and to me it is a simple matter of him not taking my feelings seriously and lying to me. |
Many men enjoy looking at porn. Many men have wives or girl friends who are offended by men looking at porn. Many men have received signals from women that men looking at porn, bothers women. So many men look at porn secretly. Keeping porn secret sometimes requires Polite Lying. Polite lying is trying to shield a harmless truth that might hurt the feelings of a woman.
I personally try to enjoy porn with my wife. I like to have porn on during foreplay and lovemaking with my wife. I haved a 10 Inch DVD player that I put beside the bed, after some foreplay. I sometimes put porn on the TV in the bedroom during foreplay. I enjoy porn, but I am true to my wife. Sometimes my wife says sheis not in the mood for porn or raises some other objection, and I turn it off right away. I enjoy porn, but Idon't need porn.
Many women have women friends. Many women know that other women find porn objectionable. So many women do not admit to other women, that their man enjoys porn, and that they don't mind. So many women have the idea that it is UNUSUAL for men to enjoy porn, and that there is SOMETHING WRONG ir a husband enjoys porn. So many women are lying to you, that their is something WRONG with porn.
I think everything is OK, as far as porn goes.
Many women expect their men to know what they want. This is the Pink and Blue of Eggerich's Love and Respect. I need to prepare short phrases to communicate with my wife. Maybe a phrase for you could be, "It really turns me on when you take off all my clothes." My wife comes to bed wth her clothes on every night. I have found that she seems to enjoy me taking off her pants and panties. I believe that my wife likes to keep her top on. I will take her bra off through her sleeves. She will position her top, sometimes for my access to her boobs. I think my wife should come to be naked.
You do not mention any of the other shifts in your relationship that are brought on by a new child in the picture. You have not listed out 10 things you have mentioned that you appreciate about your husband. The ratio in a healthy relationship should be 3 or 4 positives to one negative. If you have complaining about Porn, you have not mentioned the other things you LIKE about your husband. Women and Men both have Egos. Men like to hear acknowlegement that they got up and went to work today, or took out the garbage, whatever.
..