I'm finding it hard to get my girl to orgasm (we've only did it twice) through either oral or her fav. position (on top). Each time she moans heavily, heaves, and then slows down, and I ask her "did you cum?". She says no. Later she says that maybe she's having female version of stage fright, where she feels like she has to cum. Is this bad pillow talk? Should I avoid questions like this altogether? I don't know how else to tell if she came.

Also, what else is bad pillow talk that I should avoid? (besides the obvious stuff like "did you gain some weight?" )