If you are trying to influence her to change, your criticism should be well thought out, sitting down with her to express your concerns and hearing hers. Maybe you could order your thoughts first, so as to sound intelligent instead of picking on her.
But what you are doing is just randomly sniping. She doesn't know where the next attack is coming from and probably considers your attitude mean spirited, and rightly so. And by your admission she's right, because your comments are inspired by random knee jerk irritation. That will put anyone on the defense, you got to admit it's childish behavior, right.
If you want to love her, then respect her enough to talk to her rationally. If you give some respect, you'll get some respect, and maybe she'll want to please you. Maybe if she sees you are thinking seriously about your relationship, she will return the effort and try to look nicer or what ever it is you want. Be somebody worthy of her effort. It goes in both directions.
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