Ok. So I have to admit outright that I've been a shit boyfriend. I've never cheated, it's not that. My fault has been that perhaps once every 2 days, I let slip a comment like "look how much butter you're putting on that," or "fuck that's swimming in cheese." This makes me a shit, I know. God dammit.

But here's the thing. I find my g/f of 2 years has become very plain, very average looking - her hair's natural coloured again (a mousey brown), she doesn't wear make up, she's wearing this comfortable beige underwear now, never lingerie, her clothes are totally unsexy. It's like she went from 23 to 63, in two years. I make comments. I say this, I say that, small things. I know it hurts her, but I can't not say it, because I'm getting desperate here. I love this girl, she is kind and sweet and for the first 9 months our sex life was great. Since then however, it's been one big, slow fade, and now and again, I just have to say something.

Tonight though, it all kicked off. She tells me she feels like two different people when she's around her friends, and around me. With her friends she's happy, self-confident, together. With me, she's unhappy, she lacks confidence, she feels terrible - because she knows I think she's unnattractive. So there you go - my comments have been making her feel terrible.

My question to you all is how in god's good name can I live with the fact that my girlfriend is not the sexy firecracker I knew 2 years ago, without making the kinds of comments I've been making. I realised tonight that she is literally better off without me. She would be a happier person. But I love her so much, I don't want to leave her. Previously, I had two choices:

1/ make comments in the hope that she improves.
2/ leave her.

Now that I can't make comments, since they make her feel terrible, I fear option 2 is the only way - but I really don't want it to be, this girl is lovely mentally, just not so much physically any more.


Pardon my French, but this is just fucking terrible. Any long term couples up there have any advice? It's inevitable that our bodies fade away over time - how do you reconcile yourself to this fact? Something to do with love, maybe?

[I'm so immature, please, please help, what is it to be mature is this issue? I've been seeing girls as 2D objects to ogle and fuck - how can a good sex life go beyond good looks?]

Thanks.