The Area Code exception?

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Hi,
I have been in a monotonous (whoops I mean monogamous) relationship for 38 years with a little swinging in the first year or so. It made me realize that I didn't have the right kind of constitution for it. Why I bring this up is because I consider some of the decisions I made mistakes; like steering my wife into my desires when in actuality I didn't enjoy her doing it with another man. That's my backround, mostly monogamous.
So anyway, I think if your relationship is only a month old you should do what you feel you want to do. I see your point of view clearly and understand after inflicting wounds upon myself with bad judgement. Your right your guy will hate it. You are still young and could have made a mistake. If you don't want to tell him don't.
Other than that I agree with the others about trust. If this is a one time lesson so be it. If you do it again then you are going to cause real problems for you and your partner.
O.H.

I think that if you can't stay faithful for a month, you're in the wrong relationship in the first place.

did anyone else notice that the first thing she typed was "Lol"?? that should show how serious she really is i guess.

if you even care about the person you're dating, then cheating is NEVER an option. i cant believe you seriously asked if there is an "area code rule" geez.

Sweetheart you are right about it will hurt him not you. You don't seem to even be sorry for what you did, it's a joke to you! Now I can appreciate the humor in the area code remark, but it loses something when your boyfriend is the butt of that joke. My advice: don't tell him, do him a real favor and break up with him before you hurt him again and again. If you made a mistake and were truly sorry for what you did, I'd say try to make it up to him and move on. You ain't sorry, it's a joke to you. Are you trying to find somebody to help you rationalize your actions here? Good luck. I don't know the guy but he deserves better than you can give at this point in your life. Set him free and give him a chance to find some one who cares about him. You don't.

Sinfinity,

There is a philadering forum, and they recommend a 50 mile rule. This is basic consideration to your SO, Significant Other. If you are seen by the friends and relatives of your SO, with another man, then this wil result in embarrassment, for your SO.

Families have secrets. If you have done something bad, it often makes things smoother, if you keep it secret. Family Honor may mean keeping family secrets.

Marriage Builders has the concept of Radical Honesty. That means telling your SO everything, honorable or dishonorable. I try to apply Radical Honesty to my marriage, by avoiding doing anything that I will hesitate to discuss with my wife.

Now you have had the experience of allowing a situation to go too far, and you have a dilemna. So there might be a lesson here, so that you can see something coming next time.

I personally avoid telling other women comlaints about my wife. I may post annonymously on Forums about my complaints, but I find that if I cmplain to other women, this gives them the idea that I may break up withmy wife, or divorce, and then it is morally OK for more intimacy, than if I was married, and not complaining.

How did the out-of-Area-Code guy come on to you? What could you have done to cut the situation off sooner, before intimacy started? What could you have said th first time he went to kiss you?





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Kiss, Tell, Learn, Do better.

This town is really small. I went to a bar called Hazey's with my aunt and uncle and ended up shooting pool with some of their friends. The guy was a friend of my aunt and uncle's, one of my aunt's coworkers. He knew a lot of Douglas Adams trivia, so that of course made his company enjoyable to me, and when my aunt and uncle left, I stayed and continued talking to him. You have to understand that I hadn't been around people my age since I left Texas for Washington... actually way before that, since for the week before I left I was alone in my house packing.

I probably could have mentioned my boyfriend. Could have left with my aunt and uncle. But I didn't. So I suck. Yes. That's right people, I am a fucking horrible person.

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Northside, what the hell? Really. Your words hurt me.


OF COURSE I'm sorry about it. I didn't type Lol because it was a joke. It was an embarrased, I made a mistake notation. People say Lol frequently. It doesn't mean they're laughing; people respond to different situations differently.

If you honestly thing I should tell him about it, then I will. Because I do care for him. Lol. - See? There it is again. A self-depreciating laugh.

Our relationship is new. We don't live that close to each other when I'm home anyway - but we try to make time for each other. The last time we had sex was the first night we got together. Since then it's been a few dates, some get togethers with my parents - but we've both been really busy and now we're over a thousand miles away from eachother.

How dare you say I'm not sorry? I'm trying to find ways NOT to hurt him and still be with him.

I've been here two weeks. I'm going to be here three more. I couldn't get ahold of him that night. I was a little drunk. And the guy was coming onto me pretty hard. Yes, I'm making excuses for myself -but at least I'm not lying. That was the situation.

You're such a cunt, Northside. I'm sorry, but you are. All the same, I appreciate your honesty. Obviously you're a very passionate person. In this case though, you were pretty out of line. There's no way you can discern from a few posts how I feel about him, or how I feel about the situation. So stfu, kindly.


ALSO: In case you're wondering? No, I did not have sex with someone who isn't my boyfriend. It was a few kisses. Lol. - THERE IT IS AGAIN.

Can one of you just lock this god damn thread please.

Sinfinity, I have a question. When you first registered/posted to this site, you make a comment of Nomad88 being your girlfriend. So is your boyfriend aware of your girlfriend and vise versa? Unless your boyfriend is open and aware of that situation, I would be more concerned about that.

As far as this situation goes, it is up to you if you want to tell him. Just know that it is a make or break deal, because if it is many years down the road and he finds out, you're definitely done with. You either come clean in the beginning and try to work it out. Or you hide it till the truth comes out and it bites you in the ass.

Your choice, you start with a honest and truthful relationship or you start it with absolutely nothing.

Nomad is one of my best friends, not my girlfriend. Lol. Girlfriend as in good bud? Silly silly.

A friendhip ring can be worn on your married ring finger. One way a man shows he is intersted in his girl friend to be faithful is to buy her an engagement ring.

Kiss, Tell, Learn, Do better.

It's hardly silly to assume that you and Nomad are lovers when one reads posts like this,

Nomad: A close lady friend of mine just joined at my reccomendation as well (sinfinity) and I'm dying to get her to open up her sexual horizons, and in doing so her legs, a few more times for me.


You: Mm. My little sexkitten. You have no idea what's waiting for you when you get home... !::::

Another exchange between the two of you:

Nomad: "Of course you are, L. *lick* I think one day I'll make you beg though.."

You: " I remember making you talk dirty in bed.... - reminisces with a warming seat.-"

Since you've come here you've called members names, told them to stfu and backpeddled all over the place. In short, it seems like you and a bit of a troll.

Exactly what do you want from us as a community? Do you want us to embrace you and try to help you? Do you want us to believe you when you give advice? It sure doesn't seem that way.

sinfinity, if you really put "lol" b/c of nervousness then i apologize for my comment about it. all i meant was it seemed like you weren't that bothered by it, looking at it from the outside i'm sure you can see my point.

as far as your whole situation goes, you screwed up..BUT you kinda have time on your side, and you really should use it. if you haven't been together but like a month then maybe he's not too invested that he won't be able to get past it. you really need to tell him and the fact that it was only kissing makes it SLIGHTLY better. you will have to regain trust and it's not going to be fun, trust me. and although it will hurt him, it's better to do it now rather than let him believe everything is great until some undetermined amount of time later and him find out. just grit your teeth and do it. you obviously feel bad about it or you wouldnt be so defensive towards the comments, and remorse is a good sign. seriously, i wish you the best of luck.

*locked at the request of OP*

Shine on, you crazy diamond.