I've gone through the same thing with my wife. I've been frustrated by the lack of interest in sex and we had countless conversations about my frustrations.

I took her to dinner one night and asked her some frank and direct questions because I wanted to get to the root of the problem. She was very honest with me and basically said the sex was so hot in the beginning because things were new. In the beginning we did things like have anal sex and sex outdoors, sex in dept. stores, etc etc. She was like your wife, a sexual dynamo.

I was very honest and said I felt like maybe now that she knows "I'm hers" so to speak, that maybe she was taking me for granted. I went on to explain that I felt like I was the only one trying to keep things fresh and bring new ideas into the bedroom. That I was growing very frustrated with being the one who had to always initiate sex.

I would wait for a week or more to give her a chance to initiate sex many times, and she almost never did. I would try to encourage her to take over in the bedroom like she used to, and she rarely if ever did. It really frustrated me.

I told her I wanted to see she was interested in sex. When she initiated it, it was a huge turn on and showed me she really wanted me.

I then said that to keep our sex life hot for the next 10,20, 30+ years would take both of us working together to keep the fires stoked. That we were partners and I felt it was unfair to put that burden on me to be the dominant one... the initiator... and the imaginative one in the bedroom.

I was careful not to place all the blame on her. I pointed out that because of my frustration, there were many times I wouldn't wake up in the mornings and hold her like I used to do in the beginning. I wouldn't hug her as much, or kiss her like I used to.

I'd like to say our conversation changed everything, but it did make a difference. Things have gotten much, much better over the last 6 months. I had to step back from everything and realize my behavior wasn't helping the situation...

In the past as I said I would cuddle with her every morning, kiss her every chance I got, and hug her. I would also not think so much about things... if I wanted to put ice cream on her ass and eat it off her... I just did it. When she stopped being so sexual, I started to overthink stuff... should I do this.. maybe she doesn't want to... is now the right time?

So I got back to doing all of those things again. If she gets out of the shower and looks really hot in her new thong panties, I just go and take her... I dont' worry about if she has to be at work in 20 mins. If she says no, then I deal with it and don't pout... and I tell her I'll finish things later... in the past I would get pissed off when she said "not now", so I pretty much stopped being spontaneous. In reality,I wasn't even giving her a chance to say "no".

In the end, you can only control what you do bro. You can't control her behavior. I've learned that by starting to do those things I did when we were first together, has really helped us become closer again.