Yeah, I don't think any of us are really qualified to dig into this complicated problem. Sorry, A, but we might make things more complex if we start addressing all of your points. But we'll try if you can't get some counseling. If you do get it, then we should definitely butt out.
As for my opinion, he sounds selfish, and the easiest thing for a selfish person to do is be lazy when it comes to another person's needs. For some reason he must prefer sex with himself, but that does not mean you are any less than a smart and sexual woman. And resourceful too, else you wouldn't have come here on your own seeking help. That can be another talking point to take to a counselor.
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