So my sex life with my boyfriend of about 3 years has been pretty much non existent. So far I'm lucky to get sex twice a month from him but will walk in on him masturbating much more than that. I've told him that I don't really care about him masturbating as long as he doesn't try to hide it and as long as he doesn't forget about me. Well he seems to of forgotten about me a very LONG time ago.

Before I used to try and initiate sex but he'd only turn me down which would really hurt because I know I'd never reject him. So I stopped trying to initiate sex because the rejection was just getting to be too much all the while his masturbation habits never changed. I'd be in the next room and instead of asking me for sex, let alone a blow job, he'd just masturbate.

This of course would make me angry and if I approached him about it he would just get really upset and he'd start hiding his porn and stuff again. The only reason I said I was cool with him masturbating openly was because I was hoping he would be more open to asking me. That didn't work.

He's given me many reasons why he doesn't want to have sex. Here are some of the main ones.

1) He can never get me off.

- I've explained to him that he has to work at it and be willing to do certain stuff to me. The only time he's ever got me off without the aid of a toy is when he went down on me once. He absolutely will not do it again. He said I tasted bad. That was a real low blow to my self esteem and told him that he doesn't taste good either but I do it because I love him and it makes him feel good. He hasn't wanted to try again since.

2) It's messy.

- It's not like he's got a bunch of lube inside his vagina, all he has to do is grab a towel and wipe himself off. Or if he would get me wet enough maybe we wouldn't need lube but he never wants to try and get me off.

3) I'm mad all the time/"I never want sex"

- I told him that if he would just have sex with me maybe i wouldn't be so mad all the time. BUT I absolutely hate having to bring up the topic of me not getting "any" because It makes me feel pathetic but it seems that's the only time he suddenly wants to have sex. I want him to WANT to have sex with me without me having to come crawling to him. I normally refuse at this point because my self esteem is usually shot when I have to remind him to screw me once in a while.

4) Sex is defferent from mastubation.

- The most recent excuse is that the urge to masturbate is different than the urge to have sex. He guesses he has a low sex drive but I've called him on that by saying that if he has a low sex drive he wouldn't be feeling the need to masturbate. He tells me that the feeling is different... and I thought that being horny just meant that you were horny. I'm mean when I masturbate all i'm thinking is "I wish I were having sex." But I suppose now that there are different levels or hornyness (word??).

!! GUYS: I'm confused, are there different types of "horny". Do you have to be a certain kind of horny to want to have sex with your girlfriend?


I'm seriously at the end of line now. I've had it with the bullshit and would appreciate any helpful answers!