You prob is definitely psychological dude. Hmmm...try a different position next time. Instead of getting into the position where you've gone soft, choose a different position. For instance, if you go soft trying to get into missionary, flip over and have her get on top and fuck the snot out of you.
Since it's psychological, the more you worry about it the worse it will become...BUT, break the pattern a time or three and the issue will be gone.
BD
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