It's actually quite common early in a relationship for a women to agree to do things that she normally wouldn't want to do, and might find quite degrading and painful, solely to please her new man. I agree with Dreama that it was probably a very bad decision on her part to lie to you and say that she "loved" anal when apparently the complete opposite was true. Understand that she didn't want to hurt your feelings by telling you the truth.

Many women are taught to take whatever is given to them no matter how unpleasant it is with no complaints, in the knowledge that this is what he wants. We are taught that his needs and wants and feelings are far more important than our own. A sense of low self-esteem is established in us from the very beginning. And it sounds to me as if she's still trying to please you despite the fact that anal gives her absolutely no pleasure. She's still allowing you to try, even though the fact that she's too clenched up to allow penetration should tell you something about how incredibly unpleasant she finds it.

I know you're a considerate and loving partner and that you'd never want to do anything to deliberately hurt her, so I advise you to stop asking her for anal. Understand that she hates it but she will probably agree to do it anyway because she knows you like it. Resign yourself to the fact that she's just not into it, even though she did it before, and that you will probably never again have anal sex with your wife. There are plenty of other very pleasurable things you can do in the bedroom.

However, I feel that you've already planted the seed of resentment in your relationship, and before long she won't want to have sex with you at all because there will always be a chance that you'll want to "do that" again. If this is a deal breaker in your relationship then you might want to reconsider your decision to get married and find yourself a woman who is more capable of meeting your needs.

Also, I advise you to be a little more understanding of your wife's previous relationship baggage. Whether you like it or not, you will have to learn to deal with all of your wife's emotional details. You're a considerate lover, so I'm sure you already know how important your wife's feelings are. Your wife, the woman you love, is the sum of all the experiences she's had over her lifetime, and it's those experiences that have made her who she is today. If she was treated badly in previous relationships, then I'm afraid those problems are now your problems. You took them on willingly when you married her.