What to do?? "rape" in marriage?

She is making the choice to stay in the marriage and if it was that bad she could leave. Furthermore if it is as bad as she says then staying together for the sake of the children is a pointless arguement because the children would be better off if the marriage ends. So the question you must ask yourself what is she gaining from playing her husband against you. My guess, she likes a little drama and excitement. Since you have not seen him force himself onto her and have not seen him 'abuse her' then it is best to keep your distance.

Staying in it for the kids is a lame excuse. I don't mean to sound rude here, but if it's that bad, she needs to leave or kick him out. Is she staying for financial reasons, insecurity or other reasons? It sounds like this relationship has hit rock bottom and there's probably more going on than her husband forcing himself on her in the bedroom, including arguments and fighting. The kids don't need to see that. Tell her to leave and move on, for the kids sake. They don't need to grow up in that environment.

At least from my perspective you are relying on what she is saying and you have not witnessed it. I am not saying it is not happening but it does raise a flag for me. It leaves me to wonder if she might be exaggerating it a bit in order to tempt you into having an affair with her?

have her tell him to hit the road, no woman should have to live like that. I had my best friends wife move in with me and my wife for awhile. it did not take him long to see what he was missing. there marriage is alot stronger now. and he thanks me for doing that.

I have been there before too, my ex husband openly told anyone that I was his wife and he had needs and I had no say in it and he raped me as much as he could, he even one night ripped my pants off of me and raped me, he kept saying it isn't rape cause were married, the next day i got help to throw him out, he took my son for a month until I got my lawyer geting a order to get him back, My ex tried everything to make it hell for me. I had help and support from my friends, family, Master 9804, and a very special friend who offered me anything that I needed. That was 5 yrs ago. I still haven't gotten over it all completly but I'm not as jumpy or scared anymore and I love sex now. Master9804 loves it too .

My advice is get out of it because nothing will make him change, you own your body and only you, her friends, family and the law will help. For her own sanity she needs to get away before she starts to think only way to get out is the one way no one wants. I hope this helped.

have you discussed her alternatives? maybe she just needs to know her options. and teenagers are practically grownups already -- she shouldn't underestimate their understanding of the situation. i wish her all the best. i sincerely hope she gets out of this oppressive situation.

I am not for rape in marriage or out, I also read time and again of a man who has a wife who decides she does no longer want sex. So he is stuck in a marriage with a cold woman who he has to support weather he keeps her or kicks her ass out. In other words no good choices. She said he rapes her 2-3 times a week. If she was giving him sex 2-3 times it would no longer be rape would it? Or do you think sex in marriage 2-3 times a week is asking too much. I've seen some who have answered this complain about their mate not wanting sex enough. Tell me what is a man to do?

As they are in Australia, if the couple separate, the man only has to pay child support towards his children's upbringing, nothing ongoing for his wife after the property settlement. So he can walk relatively free if he wishes. If he has stooped to raping her even once, she cannot be blamed for turning off sex with him. Instead of whining for forcing his partner to have sex a man could attempt to be her trustworthy companion, laugh with her, work alongside her in the home and in the raising of his children. Then at the end of the day, romance her as he probably did in the early days.

The OP hasn't posted on this thread in 3 1/2 months. I hope he stops in to update us on the situation with his friend. It sounds like a horrible situation she's in.

Hi guys, the situation ebs and flows, he'll leave her alone for a week or 2, the relationship between them improves then he'll get demanding again.
If she keeps saying no or making excuses he tortures her mentally with ignoring her to just plain rudeness and sulking..
I just don't understand how he doesnt see she doesnt like sex with him, and she says it only lasts 3-4 mins so she puts up with it.
Ive talked it through with her a bit and rationalised the kids V freedom route but i get the feeling it will be a long term thing for her to get out, as she told me, she doesn't hate him (but hates being forced to have sex with him), but doesn't love him anymore either and has no attraction or physical interest in him at all.... she's described at as feeling like he's like her brother if that makes sense.
There's more to the problems in the relationship and why she no longer loves him, most of which revolve around him being a control freak, he demands her to itemise and explain her mobile bill with names etc every month, rings her if she's 10 mins late home from gym, stuff like that.
Some weeks she's comfortable and things are ok because there's no demands, other weeks she's very depressed...