Strange unexpected problem.

Exposition: I was a virgin until early this year. A girl I befriended took pity on me after I confided in her. (I am 25, hence the pity.) While I was fooling around with this girl, we were doing various things for one another, just having fun all evening/night/morning/afternoon in her apartment. I've always been an avid student of sexual techniques (real techniques, not that stuff from pornos), and she taught me a bit more and how to make her cum. After some trial and error, I managed to give her two orgasms over the course of those two days. Yay.

Problem: She had a very hard time making me cum, even though she is very experienced. I thought I was relaxed, I thought I was calm. I had purposely withheld masturbation for a week before meeting up with her so that *ahem* my "delivery" would be more impressive. She tried her hands and oral a couple times each. She tried a full-nude oiled-body-slide massage thing. Nothing. (While she was giving me oral, I actually started to go flaccid!). The first evening, we gave up and resorted to me just masturbating myself on her bed while she kissed me. I came then.

It wasn't until the next afternoon that we finally had straight intercourse and I finally came like I should have.


My concern is that I might have become too insensitive from over a decade of masturbating up to 3-5 times a day. I worry that a future girlfriend might offer oral or a handjob and I'll have to say "sorry, don't bother. It won't work anyway."

I mean, I guess it's better than always being premature, but still.

(By the way, this girl and I are not dating. We agreed it was a one-time thing and we're not seeing each other anymore. Sad, I suppose)

Could it have been more of an anxiety from the situation than just not being able to come? Then again, more often than not my girlfriend can not get me off from masturbation, and i have never had oral sex long enough to come (sad I guess)

Don't worry about it, you had 2 days of sexual experimentation, she came, you came... all is well.

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New member? Welcome to the SexualForums.
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Congratulations on getting your cherry popped!

No, go forth and conquer more pussy. The only way to get better at it is to practice, practice, practice.

And with all that masturbating you should have a grip like a tyre fitter.

Today was tomorrow only yesterday.

I'm pretty sure that what you've described is normal. My boyfriend was a virgin the first time we had sex, and although be didn't have any trouble coming at all during penetrative intercourse, I couldn't get him to come when I gave him a blow job. I thought it might have something to do with my technique, but I think it was more that it was a sensation he simply wasn't used to.

I don't have any trouble sucking him off now. Takes only a few minutes.

I have always taken much longer to ejaculate with oral sex.

Today was tomorrow only yesterday.

masturbation shouldn't "ruin" you.. i think it's natural (if not necessary) for guys to masturbate.

maybe you just found it hard to come through oral or a handjob because that's not what you wanted.. you said so yourself below.

when experiencing new sexual things it can be a little harder for some guys to orgasm. I had that same problem the first time I got a blowjob. Just be patient, relax, and get some practice. You'll be fine with handjobs and blowjobs in no time.

I'd never received much oral sex before I met my second wife, and as much as I loved it from her, I couldn't seem to get over the edge. Then, after about a year of daily head, she finally got a gusher. After that it was routine. If she wanted me to cum in her mouth, I would.

I don't know how much of the success was in me accepting the idea and how much was in her learning what it took, but she could pretty much get me off orally any time she wished. Since her death I've never gotten off that way. I had girl friends who certainly gave it the ol' college try, but none were successful, and my wife doesn't like giving head. She can get me off with a handjob whenever she wants, but that's pretty rare.