Sounds like the two of you need to talk - and
masturbation should be maybe 5th or 6th on the list of priorities. I imagine there is a rift in your shared intimacy, which I imagine can be attributed to a rift in your relationship in general. Many of us at

can empathize - as this tends to happen.... the two partners grow at different levels of sexuality (and being open about it).
Perhaps you could use this awkward situation as a catapult to be open and frank with your wife about needs you have. Perhaps you will learn from
her some needs that
she has, that have not been met. Open up to her needs, and it may make it easier for her to open up to yours.
This just scrapes the surface - but it's a start.