her ex boyfriend

i've been with my girlfriend for like 8 months or so. i'm in for a long term relationship and if its stable enough maybe marriage. but her ex boyfriend whom she still thinks bout time to time is trying to contact her and still trying to get back together with her. it really bothers me and she doesn't want me to go talk to him and stuffs. so i need some suggestion on how do i make her stop contacting him or in fact, him contacting her. thanks.

Well, the first thing that comes to mind is that you can't "make" her or him do anything they don't want to do. If she still has any interest in him there's not much you can do about it. If you nag her or keep confronting her about it you'll alienate her. There are 2 things you can do - wait and see or move on.

When I first met my husband he was seeing another woman - no commitments to either one of us. After months of "wait and see" I just told him one day that he had to make a decision. He did. We've been married 40 years now. Just remember, if you give her an ultimatum, you might lose and you better be prepared for that.

I echo Trix, in that you cannot make either one of them do anything. You didn't say what exactly she is "thinking" about her ex when she "thinks" about him from time to time. Does she miss him, want him back, what? Also, are they just friends now or do they still have romantic feelings for each other? If I were you, I would back down on thinking about commitment until you both are at the stage you personally are at now: serious relationship. I see that you like this girl, and that you are thinking forward. You should tell her how it makes you feel, but make no demands. Clear, calm communication is very, very important. If you try to dictate what she does, or get angry about it then you will alienate her. If you just cannot handle her talking to him, then you have a choice to make. Stay with her like it is, or stop seeing her before your feelings get way too involved. Best of Luck!

thanks for the great advices. really appreciate it. so i guess i'll just wait and see.