I might be misunderstanding the question, but I find that I can have both. I am desperately in love with my husband! The passion we express to each other, and the love in our eyes when we are looking at each other, is incredible. Every touch, every carress, every kiss is saturated with love. That sex is powerful!
There are times, however, when my desires toward
him are just pure lust. The kind where you just rip off your clothes and do wild and crazy things. I feel like I'm '20-something'

- and have this seductive lover on the side. This sex, too, is powerful!
So to answer, I agree with
fantasien, both are equally fulfilling and memorable, in their own right.