The funny thing about the ceremony was, we had to wait for the judge to finish tending to a sick cow before he could start.
We were all crowded in his office, trying not to get the fly strips he had hanging from the ceiling stuck in our hair.
After we were legal, we went to a park for some pictures, and when we went to get back into the limo to go to the restaurant to eat, the damned thing wouldn't start. We sat their, sweating our balls off until a mechanic came and got it going.
Then there was the honeymoon...
We could not go anywhere until after April 15th, because my husband is a CPA. and, after having our son, I was quite afraid to resume doing "it" and I wanted to put it off for as long as possible.
So, anyways....after 2 months of being married, we decided to go to Mystic Seaport in CT because they had a really great aquarium. At the time, my husband was driving a Jeep. so, we put the baby in the back, and I sat next to him as my husband drove.
The drive took hours and hours and the baby fretted and cried a bunch. Every time he did, my husband would pull over and I'd nurse him. (the baby, not my husband.)
Due to all the stops, it was taking up forever to get there. We were going through a patch of road with barriers on both sides and lots of construction work. The traffic was terrible and we were barely crawling.
The baby started screaming his nuts off after a bit, but there was no place to pull over. My husband was dead set against me taking the baby out of the car seat because he feared we'd get a ticket or crash or whatever.
The stress level in the Jeep was incredible as we crawled along at a snail's pace. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore, so I undid my seatbelt. cranked up my shirt, undid the flap of my nursing bra and stuffed a hooter into my son's gaping maw.
The trouble was, I had to basically stand over him so he could reach and it was tough to keep from falling on him as we hit bumps in the road. My boobs were swaying around like pinatas in the breeze and my husband was yelling at me to put them out of sight. I basically told him to ef himself, and kept feeding the baby until he fell asleep.
When we finally got to our hotel we were miserable, so we just plunked the baby between us on the king sized bed and went to sleep. After a while my husband started rubbing my back and I told him there was no way in hell I was doing it with the baby in the room.
So, he put the baby in the carrier, stuck him on the floor and got into bed. I was in no mood for it, but let him have a little just to shut him up and because I felt guilty that our poor baby was on the floor waiting for us to finish.
The next day, we went to the aquarium but it was pouring and the line was incredible. So, we packed up and went home. So ended the 15 hour honeymoon from hell.
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Seems to me your hubby is on a 7 days a week 52 weeks a year honeymoon.
