online romance

ok.. you've met a guy online.. who has told you he just went through a really bad break up with a woman and he's definatly not ready for another relationship..This guy is along way away from you in distance..And you find yourself falling for this guy... how would you proceed with the relationship? He and i cybered a couple of times and he told me it was his first cyber experience..i've tried everything i know to try to talk him into tryinig to set up just a casual meeting to see maybe what happens or dont happen.. but everytime i seem to push it.. he seems to back away and i dont hear from him for along time... i really care about him and would love to meet him.. should i just let him go and move on?

Move on.

'Anybody --> ' = 'anybody --> ' - on a keyboard. You know that. Sometimes, it's probably better for the "friendship" to stay vitual. That way he can be whatever you fantasize him to be.
If you are happy with the cyber relationship, having fun, getting some sort of fulfillment, then that's fine. If you want more, and he doesn't, the fantasy is already starting to break down. It's time to move along.
...jmho...

Rose you are a wise woman.

I could never see the point in any kind of online dating or sex without it all being a test to see if a real meeting might be in the making. I think it's a great way to filter out the people that would not be compatible with you without wasting a whole lot of time and $$$$$$! Perhaps this guy keeps getting trapped in the filter.

Dear Cotton Candy,

Setting up a personal meeting seems like a logical next step. Apparently there are reasons that meeting seems risky to him.

Talking by phone might be another step.

Offering photographs.

Have you taken any of the compatability tests?

Love Test . Com


Meyers Briggs Personality Concepts, Jung Types

http://www.personalitypage.com/portraits.html


Enneagram Institute

http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/compatibility.asp

I know your probably right.. my thoughts were just that he was so hurt by this last relationship breakup.. and i thought if i just gave him time...I just felt if i really cared about him i shouldnt just completly trun my back ..but your right its probably for the best.

You also make alot of logical sence.. maybe hes just not ready to commit yet.. but heck i wasnt asking him to marrie me.. just a casual meeting.Cause although alot of what you say here makes sence.. i also believe you can email someone for months and months even talk on the phone.. and cyber..but still not really know them until you meet them in person.

I sent him pictures of me but hes never sent me any yet...but i dont push him on the issue.. because to me its more about whats inside a person that i care about..Weve neve talked on phone.. but hes never suggested it and i wont be the one to ask... and i agree the compatability test would probably help...i'll suggest those to him in the future. I guess im the one just not willing to let it go . YET.. but thanks for all your advice.

I guess I am always concerned that the person on the other end weighs 380 lbs. and buys their groceries online. Sometimes fantasy is better than reality.

When I was a teenager, we didn't have MTV.
We had to take drugs and go to Rock Concerts!

I may wrong but I think I saw at least 3 red flags. You have not seen a picture of him, he has seen you though. You have not spoke on the phone and whenever you mention meeting he disappears. Well I am just assuming the worst but I am more than willing to bet that either he didn't like your picture or you just way out of his league. If he is a dumbo and your hot, hes not going to want to meet you for fear that he is not what you wished for. I had a experience that was somewhat like this, except I did see pictures of her and she saw me on cam. She was an adorable asian girl from denver. We talked for almost 2 years. I travel alot and was in Denver many times, and each time we set up times and places to meet. She never showed up, always a last minute family crisis. Anyway after almost 3 years she suggested we take a holiday together skiing in the rockies. I booked the hotel and arranged for a two week holiday. Talking to her everyday till the day i flew into Denver. I was excited about finally meeting. I get to Denver, call you because she is not at the airport to pick me up. Someone answers the phone and I ask for her. The voice on the other end says, yes this is ^%$. But its not the voice I know. It turns out that my sweet pretty asian girl is actually white and 260 lbs and tells me she is asian and her pretty asian sister is the picture I recieved. So the moral of the story, the internet is an amazing place to be whoever you WANNA be. Be careful..

My man and i have been together for 23 months now.... one month from yestereday will mark the first day we met IRL the day we mark our anniversary from because we agree it is the day that changed our lives forever... we were both in relationships when we met online but we had a special connection and even though when we initially talked about it we agreed neither of us believed love could happen online, it did.
However, if the man you have met is not willing to set up a face to face meeting, or even speak with you on the telephone I would say cut your losses, have fun but try to avoid attatchment that he isnt willing to follow up on

forget it... long distance is expensive, and if it doesn't work, it was a lot of money. I know, i did it for 1.5 years... 2500 miles. not fun. when you have to go back, its the worst in the world. dont bother... plus he doesnt seem to trusty.

you can find a suitable guy online in your town...

"Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun, you don't stare at it, you get a sense and look away."

I think that's the key - try to narrow your search to areas that make it possible to travel and develop a real relationship.
One of our daughters met a man online, He lived in the same state, about 2 hours away. She corresponded with him for about 1 month on line and telephone only. He finally came to town to meet her AND US, stayed the weekend, and we adored him. They spent serious time together making sure they both had the same outlook and goals, desires and dreams.

Long story / short : They've been married now for 3 years, and are happy as larks.

When I was a teenager, we didn't have MTV.
We had to take drugs and go to Rock Concerts!

This guy is in a very insecure time of his life right now. I am just guessing but from the sound it it he was really hurt by this breakup and felt really rejected. He is probably worried you will reject him also if he lets you get close. I honestly would keep in touch but start to move on. It sounds like you fell for someone who was rebounding. Maybe he will realize he is losing his chance and make some moves, maybe not.

Confucius says, "man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day".