A hard time with friendship

I'm with Cook on this one.

I don't have many REAL friendships. (keep in mind that this word has a very deep and meaningful connotation for me).

I'll bury bodies for my friends. Those kind of people who I'm willing to do that for don't come along very often. I'd rather have few close friends than many shallow "friendships".

People that are downers ... huh ... well I guess that kinda applies to me in some of my friendships and even on SF. I'm a realist, the 'hope for average, plan for the worst' kind. People are not angels, nor are they daemons. We're stuck somewhere in the middle and as a result I expect people to do both good and evil toward each other.

Hmmm I guess I haven't really helped you answer your question ... Sorry.

I'll second that...I'd much rather have a small number of very deep friendships than a large number of more superficial ones. I like people in general, but trying to have too many deep friendships simply takes more resources than are available to the average person. We only have so much emotional real estate.

And yes, I'd bury bodies too for my closest set of friends if that's what they needed me to do.

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Personally, I let my serial killer friends bury their own bodies, as I just don't deal well with hacked up flesh. But I might provide a false alibi if it is needed.

What Matters Most Is How Well You Walk Through The Fire. Bukowski

Well, the thing is, she is the only friendship (besides that of my SO) that I actually have... The title is not something I take lightly. I have plenty of acquaintances, but as of late, I've been way too busy with college and planning my wedding to make any new ones friends. We've been very close up until now, and it hurts that it's all going down the drain. But, I guess it happens sometimes.

But, I in no way think that you're a downer....At least not on SF. Being a realist and a downer are two different things. Being a realist is being down to earth and understanding of reality. It's much better than wearing rose colored glasses...And you seem a person who can realize your own potential for success in life and happiness. And, I've never seen you bring someone else down because of your own problems, hun. So, I would never call you a downer.

Shine on, you crazy diamond.

She sounds depressed. Maybe she could use a gentle, friendly nudge in the direction of some counseling and/or medication?

Other than that, I agree with everyone who's said you should put your needs first, and perhaps a friendship like this just isn't sustainable...? Sadly, people do grow apart sometimes.

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The most beautiful make-up of a woman is passion. But cosmetics are easier to buy. ~Yves Saint Laurent

The sexiest parts of my body are my brain, my heart, my spine, and my guts.

Well, I feel as though my effort is lost on her, most of the time. I'm always encouraging, being optimistic, offering my help, offering to help her get help. I know she's depressed, but at a certain point you have to do something about it. I hope she come to terms with that, but I'm afraid I can't help her, because she won't accept help.

I hope our relationship is salvageable, because I love her so much! But, it's making me sad always having to help her pick up the pieces, only to have everything shattered the next week.

Shine on, you crazy diamond.

Dreama, always remember that you can't control what other people do and when you try to ... they'll resent you. You can only control your reaction... a Zen idea perhaps but rather fitting.

Just be careful and cautious in how you handle things. Good luck.

I know. That's definitely not what I wish to do. No matter how much happiness I wish her, I understand that I can't force her to do something about her situation. I'm just exhausted with being the person she depends on after things go wrong....Always...And, I like being trusted and confided in. I just wish that I could go to her for help and advice too, but she's always got a problem that by far outweighs mine, and doesn't have the time. I mean, the last time I brought up a problem, her response was, "You should just be happy your life isn't as bad as mine" and the conversation moved to all of her problems, which is alright. But it's nice to be listened to, also. I guess I should just take a step back, and let her do whatever.

Thank you for the advice, A1.

Shine on, you crazy diamond.

I try ... I'm not much use around here for any other kind advice as my dry-spell means that I bring NOTHING to the table in regards to sexual advice.

But we still love you .
Plus, I'm sure you just have to find that special chick, and then you'll be giving all sorts of sex advice.

Shine on, you crazy diamond.