My girlfriend had an amateur porn website

A couple of points;

I'm making some assumptions about her as a person here, so, bear with me and please correct or add as needed;

First off, I think it is cool as hell ASSUMING she has the self esteem and emotional maturity to do something you said she enjoys; the web site, and make some money at it AND be able to put it behind her when the time came; moving on in her personal life.
Three potential plus's in my book.

Now, if she did this site for other reasons, low self esteem, some sort of self loathing or insecurities, then that's a whole other ball of wax. But, I assumed she's fine in terms of emotional health based on how you described the situation. Again, my assumptions.
Some potential minus's here.

I would think that is where the debate begins and ends; is doing an explicit web site for fun and profit de facto evidence of emotional issues or is it something someone can reasonably be seen to do for the stated reasons; fun and profit?
This is either the BIG plus or the BIG minus.

You've said you like her and want to stay in the relationship. That speaks well of the person she is unless you, no offense, are fairly fucked up, too. Either a plus or a minus, depending.

You have talked to her about and gave her your thoughts and feelings. That's good on you for talking about it and good on her for listening. Sure plus.

You say talking to her about it made her feel bad. That's a bad sign that maybe she has some issues as, if her emotional health was good, I would expect she'd be able to listen to your thoughts and respect them while being comfortable with what she'd done especially as she has put it behind her. Sounds like a big minus to me.

I think Bluesy's point about shared moral values is a HUGE point for you to consider; does this woman share your values and simply had done something wild and crazy and fun? She sure doesn't sound proud or comfortable with it. Does she NOT share your values and, perhaps, she is simply exciting to you at this point, thus, your motives and intentions are not 'girlfriend' but more 'fuck'?

Interesting situation you got there, bud.

...way to say it in 20 words or less.

Good point.

...'utilize'.

To me, porn is art, not a tool. Not all porn is art, just as a bad painting or song is not art, but good porn, as a good piece of music or painting is, to me, art.

There is crap porn cranked out simply to make a buck just as there is crap music and paintings cranked out for the same reasons.

Having not seen Fakey's GF's site, I can't say if it was crap or art, but, that she had fun doing it, speaks to me that the primary motivation wasn't money. If it was, that's not good. No one should paint or play or fuck for money and expect it to be considered anything other than just that; prostitution.

I actually have a higher opinion of hookers than of musicians who whore themselves. Someone would actually be choosing to engage a hooker. Crap music attacks me over the air waves, victimizing us all!!!

As for performing, I'd LOVE to stand in front of any crowd with my guitar because I do have some songs that I think are worthy of public play. As for starring in "LP at Cheerleader Camp" I don't have the body of a Peter North or Espresso so, I don't pass the physical 'art' part of that equation but I am a good enough performer sexually, especially if she turns me on, to be interesting.

I'm a ham; IF she turned me on, and I got back in real good shape, I could fuck on camera.

No, I couldn't. The thought of family members, my daughters and sisters and mom, every seeing it would be the deal breaking. Yike.

..up! What'd you do?

...but let's think about that for a second; What's she supposed to do?

Hi, I'm Jill! Nice to meet you! I did a porn site. Do you like Chinese?"

When would it be appropriate to bring up? After one date? 10? 6 months?

Aha! You wouldn't be afraid of having loved ones see your work if it was so high in artistic merit There is some erotic art that is, um, very artistic. The difference between it and "pornography" is easy to distinguish.

Hmm, how to explain... To some people, sex and the body are absolutely sacred...the body to always be treated with the utmost respect (you know, the whole "temple" analogy). To others there are times when sex is sacred and times when it's just fucking, and on the opposite end of the spectrum, there are those to whom sex holds no special significance--it's merely satisfying a biological urge. It's all fine...but oftentimes those who adhere to the "sacred sex" philosophy desire only partners who also adhere to the same philosophy. A woman who spreads her legs and rams a vibrator in her pussy, videotapes it, then sticks a pricetag on that...does not subscribe to the sacred sex philosophy. The body cannot simultaneously be a temple and commercial good. *shrugs* And there's nothing wrong with our OP wanting a partner who feels the same way about sex that he does. Our actions are consistent with our values...they tell the world who you are. The OP knows that. His gf has no regrets, and that speaks volumes.

*Learn About STIs/STDs* *STD Fact Sheets*

The most beautiful make-up of a woman is passion. But cosmetics are easier to buy. ~Yves Saint Laurent

The sexiest parts of my body are my brain, my heart, my spine, and my guts.

...if I was Mr. and Mrs. Espresso, which I think everyone agrees is much more art than porn I still, personally, would have a problem with the kids and ma seeing it. *blushing*
BUT, if they, the espresso's did not mind, I could respect that.

But, yeah, there is a big difference between what we would both agree is erotic vs. a dildo jammed up your wuss for $19.99 a month.

But even then, that she did it then, that she stopped, that she is feeling bad about it with him when he expresses how he feels about it, I don't know if what she did do will predicts what she WILL do, that she will always view her sexuality and their life together in that same vein; as a commercial affair.

I disagree. I think, if you've done something like that, there should be no shame. If you made the choice to willingly do it, you shouldn't have to be embarassed about it. I also think it would be really cool if a man (or woman) was just upfront about it to begin with. It would set a solid foundation for their relationship, and if he/she met someone that wasn't okay with it, they wouldn't have been okay with it, had they found out on their own, KWIM?

...disagree in that you think it should be the second or third thing out of your mouth? That seems silly to me.

I agree with you it is something very much that should be talked about, but, I mean, I don't see it as something that should be mentioned right away like if you had an STD or something. It could wait for the part when you're telling each other the exciting things you've done. Maybe the third beer?

What I'm saying is that it doesn't matter if it's the first thing out of your mouth or the last thing. Some people will never, ever be kosher with it, so why not just get it out of the way, to weed out the people who won't ever be okay with it. Do I mean say it the first two minutes of knowing someone? No, but definitely a first date.

...that is a good point. I'm just saying, I don't think it needs to be part of the formal introduction! You and I are in the same chapter if not the same page.

Hi, I've been away for a few days, and don't have time for a long post. I should reiterate that she has no qualms about doing the website. She only cares that it effects me or potentially any other guy she might get involved with. I did find it before she told me. She inadvertently gave me a clue and I did some internet sleuthing and found an archive of it. I found pictures from her sex tape with her ex-boyfriend, which were burned into my mind. I am still disturbed by that. I don't mind pornography, but never thought of people performing in as real people. Maybe I shouldn't have been so nosy, she didn't mean for me to find any of this stuff, but it is online in some form, so it is publicly available.

...she's a bad match for you and I think Bluesy is right on this persons values. I was trying to make a case for a crazy stunt/fun/once in a lifetime thing and it flops, especially if she is all too happy to have the site and, presumably, keep it going.

I concede this one, Bluesy.