Relationships are a bitch, at ANY age

I feel so bad for my 9 year old son. For the past 3 years he has had a little girlfriend. She's as cute as a button and has been here several times to visit with him. Last week, my son came home very upset and said, "Well, C. had broken up with me." and handed me a note that she had written. I read it and to be frank, found it kind of disturbing. I don't recall the exact words but the gist of it was, she thought he must think she is boring, ugly, and annoying because everyone did. She said she would miss him and drew the saddest little picture ever. Looking at it, made me think she had issues with depression and I was tempted to call her mother.

My son was quite distraught, so I helped him word a letter to her letting her know he thought she was pretty, interesting, and fun. He also wrote that he wanted to talk to her about it. She avoided him for a few days, but he finally talked to her and told me they were "back together". He was really happy and so was I.

Fast forward to today. I come home to find a message on my machine, so I play it. The message was from another mom wanting to know it my son was going to C's party tonight. (C has a big Halloween/birthday party every year and my son always attends) This year, he was not invited, and I assumed the party was not for another couple of weeks.

Hearing the message, I looked at my son and tears were welling in his eyes. I hugged him and told him that I am sure it was a mistake and I would call C's house to figure out what was going on. He swallowed his tears and told me not to call.

I feel so bad for my boy. I know this is just kiddie stuff, but the hurt is very real for him. My heart is breaking for him.

Barbwire a.k.a. Cowboy Lover

Oh my It's so tough to be a child. Kids will just outright reject and exclude others. It's gotta be hard for any mama to watch that happen. Big hugs to your sweet boy.

I know it is hard but learning to deal with these things at 9 is a lot easier then trying to learn it at 20-30 years old. Let him learn just be there.

That is really sad, CL. Let him know he loves you, and everything. That said, I think it was incredibly rude that he was not invited. Perhaps you should talk to the other mom to see what's going on....It may not be the daughter's fault that this is happening. Either way, it is very sad, even if he is little. I remember being that age. Things still hurt.

UPDATE:

I called the girl's mom and she told me her daughter did, in fact, invite my son, but he said, 'no'. The mom then said he was still welcome to come, so I told her he would be there.

I talked to my son and asked him if he was invited and if he said 'no.' He looked at his feet and said he had. I asked why, and he said it was too scary. (They do have one hell of a haunted house at the party each year) I told him he was still invited, but he refused to go.

Apparently, he got teary eyed before because he was ashamed he was afraid to go.

So, I had to call the other mom and say he wasn't going afterall.

What a friggin' soap opera!

Barbwire a.k.a. Cowboy Lover

God bless him!

Ahhhh - the sagas of motherhood!

Being a (FINALLY) empty-nester, I'm so friggin glad that the only 'drama' I must endure is when Thorn needs a little TLC. It usually leads to incredible sex, and perhaps a shopping spree.... with an added 'weekend get-away'.

All, of which, I can easily stomach.

The heartaches of allowing my kids to grow up (without intervening every time I saw them getting fucked by others) was probably the hardest thing I've ever endured in life..... EVER! I feel your pain, hun.

When I was a teenager, we didn't have MTV.
We had to take drugs and go to Rock Concerts!

Thanks to the Arizona courts I lost by daughters to my drug addicted ex and her dealer boyfriend when they were 10 and 5 years old. I wish more then anything I could have had those years. The oldest was pregnant and married to a total loser by the time she was 16. The youngest was sent to me at 13 to keep her from testifying against the step father. This I found out years later.

Know how you're feeling CL......Have 3 boys myself, and 2 of them have gone thru some tough times with girls. Even as a father it tears ya up to see your kid hurting.
On the bright side....seems like he has a good heart.

"Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right." (Henry Ford)

Heartbreak is like a torrential downpour outside when ya think about it, you don't have to be in the rain to feel the dampness it creates. Of course I must agree with the others and say that the best thing coming out of this is his ability to deal with the pain at A young age. Big hugs from mom can't fix it but will always make ya feel better.

That was a very deep and profound reply. Thank you.

Barbwire a.k.a. Cowboy Lover

Awww! Sounds to me like you have one very special little boy there. Keep him safe until the right girl comes along for him!