It's all a learning process, Silent. Sometimes, the most obvious "problems" are not so
obvious when it involves US!
Honestly, what you said is true - - about it being FAR easier for you to finger her
inconspicuously, than it is for her to give you oral pleasure
inconspicuously.
Next time, make sure you set the 'arena' for BOTH of you to be able to give pleasure to each other.
As I said in the beginning.... It's all a learning process!!